Orion2 Posted November 6, 2009 Share Posted November 6, 2009 I had a very brief affair with a girl recently. I had met her in a bar years ago when we were both very young and I was instantly attracted the moment I set eyes on her. Nothing came of that night and we both led separate lives for about 8 years. I used to see her about the town on rare occasions but I didn't have any feelings for her or make any attempt to approach her, I had an idea she had got married but I really knew nothing much about her and I actually didn't know her name, I knew her maiden name and very little else. Then one day completely out of the blue she approached me and asked me if I wanted to go for a drink with her. She said she had always fancied me and always remembered the night we met. We arranged to go for the drink and I wasn't really sure what to expect and I wondered why she suddenly took an interest in me. We met in a local bar and she told me she was estranged from her husband with whom she had 2 children. We chatted for a few hours and I was falling for her straight away. She is a beautiful woman and she has a lovely personality. I was so chuffed to be sitting in a pub with a girl like that. After 7 or 8 drinks she told me she wanted to have sex with me and asked if we could go back to my place. We made love for hours and it was heaven and in the morning she said she had to collect her kids from her mothers and I asked if I could see her again but I could detect in her speech something wasn't right and she said she would phone me. When she left I was dissapointed that she hadn't given me her number and was clearly hesitant about talk about a relationship. The days passed and she didn't phone and I became dejected and I decided after 2 weeks I would go to her work (she works in a local shop) and ask her out for a proper dinner date. I was utterly in love with her by this time so I felt I had to see her and speak to her. I went to the shop where she worked a bag of nerves. I approached her and she said hi and I asked her how she was doing etc and then I asked her if she would like to go out for dinner with me. She hit me with a bombshell, she told me she was back with her husband. I was so devastated I could hardy speak. I just said "OK I understand" and walked out of the shop I was utterly devastated. I cried for days and couldn't stop thinking about her. About 2 months have passed since I spoke to her at her work and and was beginning to come to terms with the rejection and life without her. Then the other night a friend who knows her husband told me he had cheated on her and she slept with me to get back at him. Words cannot describe how awful I have felt in the last few days. I am deeply depressed and I can hardly eat or sleep. I am angry at her for doing this to me but the fact is am more madly in love with her than ever. Its becoming hard to cope. She dominates my every thought. I'm lost and I don't know what to do. Half of me knows I have to get her out of my head and move on but the other half of me is desperate to see her again. I wish she had never approached me that day but I long for her so much, even though she did this to me. I don't know what to do, I love her so much. Link to post Share on other sites
Fallen Angel Posted November 6, 2009 Share Posted November 6, 2009 I am sorry that you are hurting my friend. But you must be realistic about this. You had a one night stand with a married woman who you really know nothing about. What you are describing reeks of obsession, not love. Love isn't about great sex after 7 or 8 drinks. Love is about a person's soul. Knowing their soul intimately, not their body. Love is about knowing their strengths, their weaknesses, their greatest attriubutes, and their worst, knowing their loftiest goals, and their darkest desires, and wanting to share all of your life with them despite knowing all of that. Love is about kindnesses you do for one another, about wheathering hard times together, about their passions (life passions not physical passions) fitting so well with yours that your souls seem intertwined. So that you sometimes wonder where you begin and they end. Love is not a drunken roll in the hay. I suggest you seek counseling to work through your feelings. It will help you to learn about yourself, so that when the right girl does come along, you are whole and have all of yourself to share with her. Good luck, and good love. Link to post Share on other sites
road Posted November 6, 2009 Share Posted November 6, 2009 You got used. You should tell her BH. Lesson learnt: Don't date married people. This includes separated people, their still married. For quite often they go back to their spouses after they had their fun. Link to post Share on other sites
lkjh Posted November 6, 2009 Share Posted November 6, 2009 get over her and tell her H Link to post Share on other sites
offset_man Posted November 6, 2009 Share Posted November 6, 2009 It's an obsession. It hurts like Hell, but you should feel solace in that you are not the only one going through this stuff. We are all here with and for you. You need to let it go. How many times I've been told that. Link to post Share on other sites
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