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I'm new to this and have been looking over different forums to see where this might fit best. I'm hoping you all can give me a bit of insight.

 

I have been separated from my H for about 7 months and were in the middle of filing when about 4 months ago I started talking to a old high school friend of mine. He lives in another state. We never dated or anything but have always been flirty with each other. He went through a divorce as well and I had asked him for some advice...and of course it went from there. We started talking everyday and we really started liking each other! The paperwork for my divorce was suppose to be filed and done about a month ago, but things kept coming up (mis-filing, signature on wrong section..things like that) and it didn't go through when it was suppose to. My friend tells me he wants NC until everything is said and done, because the way he wants to talk to me isn't how he should talk to a married woman (separated or not). I agreed.

 

well the divorce went through a week ago...finally! and I let him know via email. he still hasn't contacted me back...no text, no email, no call, not even a facebook message. Nothing. I know he is busy but what is all that about. I thought we were starting to start something and thought that once the paperwork was official, he would want to stop the NC. I don't want to seem like a stalker. When should I try to contact him again? Why do you think he ignored me? I'm just a tad confused.

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I think the situation has changed for whatever reason. Don't beat yourself up about it but I wouldn't get back in touch with him again. He knows how to contact you... and though painful as your divorce is-- enjoy your new life!

x

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Nothing personal of course, but it's really in his best interest to still give you some time and space to heal from the D. Emotions are usually all over the place during and shortly afterwards. Having gone though a D himself, he knows this. Maybe he's just being cautious. Maybe he decided not to do a LDR. He may have moved on also. Don't wait for him. Get busy living your life and if he gets in contact with you, you can both determine what you want. Having just finalized a D, you have plenty of work to do for yourself.

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whichwayisup

Give it time.. I mean, the last thing he wants to do is date you JUST as soon as your D is final. You need to heal and be on your own for a while before getting serious with someone else, and since he himself has been through a D, knows the emotions behind it, he may feel uncomfortable, like the timing isn't right (yet)..

 

or, maybe he changed his mind..Either way, you need to focus on you, your new life and be alone for a while..

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If you haven't heard from him in a month, maybe send a "Hey, how are you email" and if you still don't hear from him, move on.

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