sassy77 Posted May 18, 2009 Share Posted May 18, 2009 Ok... so after much thought about everything that was said on my initial thread here... I finally decided that I wanted to know! So I asked MM why he was contacting ME after all these years. He said that he has always loved me, yada, yada, yada. Well, you know... like I said before, some of the things said on the initial post kinda hurt my feelings, but it all worked out for the good. Thanks for the tough love, guys. I told him thanks, but no thanks. After two failed marriages (the first one severely physically abusive, the second one emotionally abusive - which was just as bad or worse than the physical abuse!!) I am finally putting myself first. He said, "I've always wanted you, but we were both married and the timing was just never right." And I said, "Well, I'm not married now, but YOU are... which means the timing is still NOT right..." He said, "I guess you want me to tell my wife about us?" And I said, "I don't care what you tell your wife, because the reality is... there is no "us". The relationship between you and your wife has nothing to do with me. If you were happy with your wife, you wouldn't have called me. There were obviously problems going on between you two before you called me, so I don't think it's fair to use me as your excuse for bailing on your wife." And then he said that he had a lot of thinking to do... and I told him that he knew where to find me when he had it all figured out, but until then, I think it'd be best if we just took a break from communicating - so that I wouldn't color his decision either way. Oh, gosh... that was probably one of the hardest conversations I've ever had... but sooooo empowering!! I don't want to be his scapegoat. I don't want to be the other woman. You guys are right... I am worth more than that. It has taken me 20 years to realize it. NOW... just be prepared to give me some emotional support, people, because I will probably need lots of it!! Link to post Share on other sites
bentnotbroken Posted May 18, 2009 Share Posted May 18, 2009 Go look in the mirror. Look at the woman you see. You should respect that person. That woman showed strength and courage, that woman needs a lot less support than your think she does, that's why you were able to take the comments and turn them into power. I am sure you will have rough days, but they will never be as hard as the days would be if you were involved with MM. God Bless. Link to post Share on other sites
jj33 Posted May 18, 2009 Share Posted May 18, 2009 Thats great. Everything BNB said. You should be very proud! Link to post Share on other sites
norajane Posted May 18, 2009 Share Posted May 18, 2009 Bravo, sweets!! THAT is how to get what you deserve. You say no to the things that are bad for you, and that frees you to say yes to the good. Link to post Share on other sites
2sure Posted May 18, 2009 Share Posted May 18, 2009 ... After two failed marriages (the first one severely physically abusive, the second one emotionally abusive - which was just as bad or worse than the physical abuse!!) I am finally putting myself first. ....NOW... just be prepared to give me some emotional support, people, because I will probably need lots of it!! I'm prepared. I'm prepared right here and right now to offer you emotional support. And if I could, I would offer you a shoulder, a prayer, a drink , shoes or whatever else you needed. Because YOU are on the verge. On the verge of no longer banging your head against that wall anymore. On the verge of no longer becoming your own victim by letting others victimize you. You are vulnerable. Maybe because of your past, maybe because you are just an easy target. And thats OK. But, predators, abusers, selfish people...they SMELL it. You cant change that. You can only stop accepting less than you want. Link to post Share on other sites
Gamine Posted May 18, 2009 Share Posted May 18, 2009 I am proud of you! You are deserving of everything good, true, and beautiful this world has to offer and the steps you have taken has placed you on the path for claiming it all. We receive what we claim. You have decided once and for all that you will not be physically or emotionally abused and you will not be used either. Good for you. You should be proud of yourself. Link to post Share on other sites
wildsoul Posted May 18, 2009 Share Posted May 18, 2009 Brava! Well done. Kudos. High-fives. Big smiles. Hugs. Winks. Throws flowers at your feet. You did GREAT! Link to post Share on other sites
MizzBlue72 Posted May 18, 2009 Share Posted May 18, 2009 I am so GLAD you posted this!! This gives a lot of people out here hope that even when they come back - you stay strong Way to go !!! Link to post Share on other sites
bentnotbroken Posted May 18, 2009 Share Posted May 18, 2009 Brava! Well done. Kudos. High-fives. Big smiles. Hugs. Winks. Throws flowers at your feet. You did GREAT! :laugh:you forgot the dancing bunnies:laugh: :bunny::bunny::bunny::bunny::bunny::bunny::bunny::bunny: Link to post Share on other sites
White Flower Posted May 18, 2009 Share Posted May 18, 2009 Wat to go sassafrass! You have just avoided the scarriest roller coaster ride on the planet, only the highs are not as thrilling and the lows might put you on anti-depressants. Yes, go look in the mirror and tell it that no predator can ever sniff you out. You rock sassy! Link to post Share on other sites
NoIDidn't Posted May 19, 2009 Share Posted May 19, 2009 Sassy YOU GO GIRL!!!!!! What a classy and strong lady, you are. Link to post Share on other sites
OpenBook Posted May 19, 2009 Share Posted May 19, 2009 I am finally putting myself first. He said, "I've always wanted you, but we were both married and the timing was just never right." And I said, "Well, I'm not married now, but YOU are... which means the timing is still NOT right..." He said, "I guess you want me to tell my wife about us?" And I said, "I don't care what you tell your wife, because the reality is... there is no "us". The relationship between you and your wife has nothing to do with me. If you were happy with your wife, you wouldn't have called me. There were obviously problems going on between you two before you called me, so I don't think it's fair to use me as your excuse for bailing on your wife." And then he said that he had a lot of thinking to do... and I told him that he knew where to find me when he had it all figured out, but until then, I think it'd be best if we just took a break from communicating - so that I wouldn't color his decision either way. Sassy, my mouth is hanging open and my glass is raised to you. You Go Girl!!! Link to post Share on other sites
fooled once Posted May 19, 2009 Share Posted May 19, 2009 You did GREAT! Stick to it!! Link to post Share on other sites
shopgirl7907 Posted May 19, 2009 Share Posted May 19, 2009 I am new here and don;t know your back story but I wanted to say... Yay for you. As the person who was cheated on, I can say that it is devasting to know that your man cheated but equally devastating is that there are so many women willing to cheat with him. So cheers to you for being the better woman, even if it was a long path. Link to post Share on other sites
Chrome Barracuda Posted May 19, 2009 Share Posted May 19, 2009 Wow, that initial post makes me feel proud that a woman, knows what she wants outta her life and wants self respect for herself and is being strong and not falling for the MM bullchit like these other females out there. Now she needs to find a decent , good looking single guy to deal with. Link to post Share on other sites
Author sassy77 Posted May 19, 2009 Author Share Posted May 19, 2009 Thank YOU ALL... for helping me see the light before I got myself into a mess. I have spent so much time reading here and it's all here in black and white.... and I know in my heart of hearts that there is a REASON I found this board. When I first posted here, I was pretty much hell bent on going through with it... that is, until I read all of these incredibly SAD stories... and I realized, "Girl, you are just ASKING for it..." And I mean no disrespect to anybody here, really I don't, but I can't believe how many people are saying... "Look what he/she has done to me!!" Um.... no. They did it to themselves. Eleanor Roosevelt knew what she was talking about when she said... "No one can make you feel inferior without your consent." I'm not giving anybody permission to destroy me ever again. Thank you all so, so, so very much for caring. I'll keep you posted on what happens next... although it might really be a really, really boring post... as I don't need that drama in my life! Link to post Share on other sites
Lyssa Posted May 19, 2009 Share Posted May 19, 2009 Hope I am not too late to congratulate you! Well done and there will be lots of people here to hand your their support! Link to post Share on other sites
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