DealingWDrama Posted January 20, 2009 Share Posted January 20, 2009 Hello everyone. I thought I would drop in and leave an update. The OW's due date is this Saturday...the only communication taking place between her, my H, and myself is done through attorneys. My H and I are legally separated but are attending marriage counseling and concentrating on our marriage. I wanted things done legally (alimony and child support) so that my children and myself will legally be seen first if the OW does go after him for CS. The ball is in her court now as to whether or not contact will happen - if she legally comes after him/us for CS then we will legally fight for visitation....of course this will follow a DNA test. As of right now I am filled with anxiety awaiting the birth of this child.... Link to post Share on other sites
OWoman Posted January 20, 2009 Share Posted January 20, 2009 Hello everyone. I thought I would drop in and leave an update. The OW's due date is this Saturday...the only communication taking place between her, my H, and myself is done through attorneys. My H and I are legally separated but are attending marriage counseling and concentrating on our marriage. I wanted things done legally (alimony and child support) so that my children and myself will legally be seen first if the OW does go after him for CS. The ball is in her court now as to whether or not contact will happen - if she legally comes after him/us for CS then we will legally fight for visitation....of course this will follow a DNA test. As of right now I am filled with anxiety awaiting the birth of this child.... Wow DWD - pretty intense time for you, it sounds! I'm glad you're doing things legally - both for the financial protection it affords, but also for the emotional distance it creates. Whichever way things land up with your M - and it sounds as if you're giving it your best shot, so here's hoping it all works out well - you'll be glad in retrospect that you did things clinically and correctly. You don't need any more angst and struggle than you've already gone through. I'll be thinking of you on the weekend! (((hugs))) Link to post Share on other sites
Author DealingWDrama Posted January 20, 2009 Author Share Posted January 20, 2009 Thank you! I'm stressing out a little more these days since the date is literally right around the corner. The date itself confuses me because when she originally said she was preggers she said she was 18 wks when she was actually 20 weeks - which makes the date of conception around May 3rd, a Saturday...I know he wasn't with her on a Saturday - the affair was kept as a huge secret from me. On the other hand I know sperm lives for a certain number of days, so who the heck knows. That's what DNA is for! Although I do remember my H being home with the flu for the entire week before and coming home after half days the entire week after. Hmmmm, maybe the kid isn't his - either way, the deception and lies are hard to over come...one day at a time. Link to post Share on other sites
OWoman Posted January 20, 2009 Share Posted January 20, 2009 Thank you! I'm stressing out a little more these days since the date is literally right around the corner. The date itself confuses me because when she originally said she was preggers she said she was 18 wks when she was actually 20 weeks - which makes the date of conception around May 3rd, a Saturday...I know he wasn't with her on a Saturday - the affair was kept as a huge secret from me. On the other hand I know sperm lives for a certain number of days, so who the heck knows. That's what DNA is for! Although I do remember my H being home with the flu for the entire week before and coming home after half days the entire week after. Hmmmm, maybe the kid isn't his - either way, the deception and lies are hard to over come...one day at a time. DWD the exact timing of these things is a bit of a thumbsuck - IIRC, they work it out from the date of your expected period, and that's usually a fairly safe time conception wise so it's usually about two weeks or so out. But while at this stage paternity is unknowable, as you say you have enough to deal with in terms of the deception and related issues. Still, it would be a lot simpler in terms of the future without a permanent, flesh and blood reminder. It sounds like you're investing a good deal of energy in your M, and in looking after your kids and making sure they're OK. I hope you're investing similarly in yourself and making sure YOU'RE OK too. Link to post Share on other sites
mopar crazy Posted January 21, 2009 Share Posted January 21, 2009 I REALLY hope this unborn child is NOT your H's. It's bad enough he had an A, but to get her pregnant, OUCH! I couldn't begin to imagine what you are dealing w/. If my H got his OW pg there would be no way I could take him back. Having to deal w/ her in our lives would be enough for me to throw in the towel and start my life over w/ someone new. You are a much stronger person than I am. Link to post Share on other sites
bentnotbroken Posted January 21, 2009 Share Posted January 21, 2009 ((((((DWD)))))) You are a hell of a lot stronger than me too. I couldn't do it. I think my anger issues would have most certainly boiled over. Link to post Share on other sites
Author DealingWDrama Posted January 21, 2009 Author Share Posted January 21, 2009 Thanks everone - I'm no martyr that's for sure. I'm investing just as much time in myself as I am in my marriage and children. Life is suprisingly really good. Hugs to you guys and good luck with your individual situations. Link to post Share on other sites
whichwayisup Posted January 21, 2009 Share Posted January 21, 2009 I hope that child isn't his.. Stay strong and enjoy your life with your kids in the meantime. Link to post Share on other sites
kimflute26 Posted January 23, 2009 Share Posted January 23, 2009 Man.... Sorry to be the downer here but in my opinion the stronger person would walk away from this. He had an affair, which already proves he doesn't REALLY love you. And on top of that he's got a baby with another woman. Which means that you'll get to spend the next 18 years watching him raise this child with the OW.... so SHE will be in your life too. And imagine how you'll feel when you see that little baby, knowing it isn't any part of you, but it is part of your husband. I'm sorry but the whole thing is sickening. Good luck... Link to post Share on other sites
Recommended Posts