back on the ride...geez!!!

[mytruelove]

well, feel free to smack me silly, but talked to SM this morning.

 

he apologized, i apologized. he stated that all was forgotten. i was in a "mood" and he was in a "mood".

 

i know you'll ask what i apologized for. i apologized for throwing some stuff in his face that i swore i never would and not giving him some breathing room when he needed it.

 

he explained how tired and exhausted he is so i really got a better sense of what is going on and am not taking it as personally.

 

anyway, this morning was the first time in almost two months that he was back to the guy i love who was pretty much sharing everything with me.

 

we still have a lot to resolve and my heart is still very guarded and i don't trust like i did because i have been seriously hurt this time, but i do have a better feeling about it.

 

i'd write more but i'm off to get ready to spend the weekend at a friends.

 

thank you all soo much for your support and prayers here. i have hope and faith ya'll.

[LavendarGirl]

Hey MTL, but this is good news isn't it? I mean, he's no longer with the GF, and he was not communicating with you, right? Wasn't that the problem, he was distancing himself after finally becoming available? Or am I confused.

[2sure]

MTL's friend has backed off since ending the relationship with his SO. He said he wanted to be friends with MTL and then stopped communicating with her.

 

So, I'm glad he called you or at least took your call, rathar than hanging up on you again. Apparently every little bit counts.

[LavendarGirl]

Hey MTL, sounds like you don't need a smack till you're silly, you need a ^5! Glad to hear he called and was nice and apologetic.

[Mino]

Hi MTL, I hope you will be prepared for more of these" moods" He does not just snap back like nothing ever happened. He got scared of totally losing you, when he is assured again, expect the "moods to appear again, sorry about raining on your parade, just want you to protect yourself. He HAS to go through his "grieving" and he WILL need his time and space... back off a bit, dont be too available to him. Dont say you werent warned;) Good luck sweetie:love:

[norajane]

no contact was broken with mine since almost two weeks. called him this morning. told him that we needed to resolve some things that i had a lot of anger, hurt, and fear. he asked what i possibly had to be afraid of? i told him of losing him from my life. i told him how i felt disrespected and discounted. that it wasn't fair that he was treating me like nothing and the other women in his life that have hurt him.

 

he said that he tried telling me and being nice, but he finally lost it because he didn't think i was getting that he wanted to be by himself. i told him i didn't get it because i haven't done or asked anything more of him than i always have. he's the one that changed not me. he said everything he had to say, i said "well, this isn't about you. it's about me and i think i deserve some of your time"

 

he said basically that he did not want a relationship, but he was okay with friendship. i told him well, my friends would treat me better and that it sounded to me like he wanted nothing at all.

 

i asked him if he was prepared to lose me completely from his life and at that point he hung up the phone on me.

 

Remember this?

 

 

So, today, he blamed your mood for him being an ass.

 

And, then he blamed being tired for him being an ass. And tired is apparently a good enough excuse for you for his being an ass.

 

And, to top it off, he's forgotten everything - including his assy behavior, but mostly the mood he blamed you for being in, which he caused by being an ass in the first place.

 

And, he's forgetting all this WITHOUT ADDRESSING THE ISSUES RAISED THE LAST TIME YOU SPOKE. You know, all the stuff you broke NC to discuss a few days ago...the stuff you wanted to talk about and resolve, but he hung up on you?

 

anger, hurt, and fear. he asked what i possibly had to be afraid of? i told him of losing him from my life. i told him how i felt disrespected and discounted. that it wasn't fair that he was treating me like nothing

That stuff. Remember that stuff? The anger? The hurt? The disrespect? Where did those feelings of yours go?

[frannie]

I agree with norajane, and:

 

i apologized for throwing some stuff in his face that i swore i never would and not giving him some breathing room when he needed it.

 

You make this sound like you did terrible things, but weren't you just trying to talk to him? And he hung up the phone on you! And now you've forgiven him for acting really badly and you've apologised

[jj33]

I hate to throw more cold water but I agree with Frannie and Nora Jane.

 

Hes acted badly. He should be the one apologizing to you. What you basically said by these actions is thank God you still want me in your life at all. I will let you treat me any way you like, I will be a doormat so long as you dont shut me out.

 

its easy enough to do most of us have done it at one point or another. You were really hurting kind of in shock that you thought you had a clear path with this man and he turned away.

 

So when he opened the door again you jumped through the threshold with both feet.

 

But you cant let him off so easy or you will never have the respect and treatment that you deserve. it may be too late this time but if he pulls that again (which sadly is likely - people behave the way they behave) you will have to stand your ground and say excuse me, but I think you owe me an apology.

[mytruelove]

thank you so much for your support.

 

LG - thank you so much for the ^5. i do feel really good about the fact that i stated how i felt and let him have it a little bit. this is the closest i've ever come to giving him a piece of my mind and yelling at him. believe me, i made it known that i was not happy with the way he has been treating me.

 

2sure - yeah, i have to admit every little bit does count with him because i love him (roll eyes)...it's a long tough journey and i don't see that journey ending.

 

norajane- we have a way of saying what we need to say without saying it a lot of times. so, i feel like i said what i needed to say and he said what he needed to say and it was addressed. we just drop it once it's done. that's the way he wants it because his ex used to rehash and rehash things, so i really make an effort with him not to do that.

 

those feelings of anger, hurt, and fear have not went away, but they were made aware of and are being dealt with. don't worry, i haven't forgotten and he has a long road ahead trying to rebuild my trust.

 

yeah JJ33, you never stated it better. i was shell shocked to be honest. now, the tough job of dealing with reality and protecting myself.

 

mino, thanks for the warning and don't worry i'm braced and hopefully more prepared now.

 

thanks for pointing out that his reactions do not come from nowhere. they come when he gets scared of losing me and i take a stand for myself he's getting a ton of alone time now to deal with his issues, i've backed off a lot.

 

it's hard, but i see it is for the best. i'll be happy when the holidays are over and am looking forward to a new year!!!

 

i kept really really busy this weekend barely home at all and stayed at a friends. it really helps.

[Reggie]

You go girl. A man will move mountains for the woman he loves.

[mytruelove]

reggie when i see the other side of that mountain i'll be sure to let you know i think we have to trust them to do that and let them do that without trying to take the pick or chisel away from them and do it ourselves.

 

it's a big mountain and has taken a lot of patience and time, but i have a ton of faith and hope.

 

thank you so much sweetie!