He is now separated, after so long..but?

[SupportGroupie]

Hello

Tried to keep myself away from a MM for many many years. He was separated when we met, so no guilt there. He ended up back with his wife, for the kids sake, etc. and 100 other reasons. We stayed in touch, we saw eachother about once every year or so (he lives far away). The feelings over the years were insane, intense, real, deep and LOVE. I had never experienced this before and being an independent woman, and aware, was not the type to do this thing. I never fell easy for anyone. He haunted me, we/us haunted me. It was the most intense relationship ever. We said we were in love, things I never say. And I know all the stories about married men, and only wanting sex...etc. but he did not live near me so we had very little sex...when we did, it was beyond anything I could ever experience. But it felt different, we had a deep connection, I could not shake.

 

He is now very recently separated again after like 6 years of being back with wife. I was with someone else for a few years who was / is very significant in my life. I was true to him, and still care very much, but its temporarily over. Whats painful and odd is that this person seems ambivalent at best right now to see me. He is suffering deeply from splitting up his family, deeply and is in turmoil. I feel his suffering and pain and understand. It just feels like a slap in the face to feel so unimportant now that he actually has a chance to see me, without guilt. I held back for years, and waited. I dont know where his head is, and I was thinking he has met/or got caught with someone else while he was married. He swears its not true. He seemed more interested in communication when he was married, and less interested now. I am not sure if it is guilt because his wife desperately wants him back. or he is just to raw to think. I see him falling apart because his family is broken, but he is not in love with his wife.

 

He told me many times over the years he was deeply in love with me. What hurts is now that he is apart from his wife, it seems he is gone..right when I thought he might finally have a chance to hang out with me and see whats there. I completely understand his situation is brand new and he has to take care of his kids, wife, grandkids, his life, the problems this caused. BUT I wonder where I fit in and I just feel horrible that i spent 5 plus years hoping for this day, never ever asking him to leave his wife, never. And also keeping my distance for the most part.

 

I dont know what to believe. I dont know if he fell out of love, which could be, if he just wants his freedom, or if he will end up back with wife. He says he believes it is over, tho he cares for her. He says he wants to see me, but in a sort of "hey, yeah, it's always good to see you" way. He does not communicate well with me and I cant get too many answers accept that he is in deep turmoil over breaking up his family. I dont want to waste more time, its been so painful to care for him, but i also dont want to give up just when it seems he might actually be free to see me.

 

I dont envision a future with him, our lives are so different and we dont live in same area...but i have been wanting to just see him, just see what it would be like for a day or two without the worry, fear and guilt of him being taken. I never took it lightly, and tried to stay away and always considered his wife's feelings, saying i would not be with him in an extended affair. I stuck to my guns mostly. NOW here it is, and I dont want to be needy or pushy and I just feel so hurt that i waited and heard all these things about how special i was, and how much he wanted to be with me...but now I just feel foolish. I am mature and moral most of the time, which is not enough, I know. I dont condone my behavior. I got involved in something deeper than I knew how to get out of, but was completely committed to my boyfriend once i started dating him..and did not play the two against eachother. I would not. I wanted a future with my boyfriend, but it just did not work. The MM was always in the back of my mind, not as a life partner, but because I simply could not get over him no matter how hard i tried. I feel weak and foolish and pathetic right now.

 

I hurt, I wonder, I want to just move on, but i invested so much time its painful, and real and something I need to work through.

 

Appreciate you letting me vent.

SupportGroupie

[mytruelove]

welcome!!! i know how you are feeling right now and i am sorry you are going throught this. i could have written your post except for the fact that mine is not married, but had a live-in girlfriend and she had kids and he had kids (not together, but each from other people).

 

i have been friends with him for 9 years. we were both in relationships, never being available at the same time. he was married. i got involved with someone else and got married (even though he told me not to), etc. he's had kids to a previous marriage and another relationship all while we have been friends.

 

it was literally love at first sight. i was blown away when i first saw him, instant major chemistry, however neither of us acted on it until i knew my marriage was over.

 

i then finally expressed my feelings for him and he returned those feelings, but he still had a girlfriend. we fought a physical affair for over a year until we couldn't fight it anymore.

 

i finally told him that it could not continue while he still had a girlfriend. i could not love him the way i do and send him home to someone else.

 

he then broke up with her and she is no longer in the house. he is finally single and we are finally free to be together, however, he has lost interest like yours.

 

i too wonder how much guilt plays into it. he says that he wants time alone and is content with just him, his kids, and dog.

 

anyway, it really hurts and is really sad. it does seem like a common thing though. i know mine has a really hard time with breakups, heck, i've been through three of them with him and he always acts the same. he doesn't want anything to do with women swears them of completely, etc.

 

i'm hoping he will come around in time, but it hurts and i'm taking it personally and having a hard time with it.

 

it's been a whirlwind. if you have some time go back and read some of my posts. they might help you. also there are others on here dealing with recently seperated men, so hopefully they'll offer support also.

[Mino]

Hi , welcome to LS! How long ago did he seperate? if it was just recently, he is still in the healing phase. Of coarse this is a major event in his life which has nothing to do with you. He is mourning his loss, his failure. Even if he was the one that left, he still goes through this process. It will take a long time for him to heal. He has to work through ALL the issues, on why his M failed, his guilt with leaving. During this time he is running on empty, meaning he has really nothing to give to you. All his energy is going to his process. I know, because I am watching my sm going through this almost 5 months. What I have learned is not to take it personally, and to take one day at a time. on good days we see each other, on his off days, I leave quickly, saying I think you need your space today...I do not stick around to hold his hand. I am keeping myself as busy as possible. No heavy talks, just light conversation. In your situation, you have a boyfriend and your far away, I would suggest nc for now. Are you in love with your BF? if not why are you with him? And if yes, what do you want from the other man? You mentioned you did not see a future together with SM, so why would you even bother? Ego? Be happy you are not involved with him right now.. Maybe in a year, or so, yes you read right, and it could be longer) he will contact you. When he has moved forward, and if you and he still have the chemistry, and your single, you can begin a NEW r. until then, let him go through this process alone, and dont take it personal, because it really has nothing to do with you or how he feels about you. What he is doing is normal, imo.

[frannie]

Hello SG.I'm just wondering whether he actually knows how you feel? I know you told him you loved him and so on, but you also describe here keeping way way back from him, and getting on with your life, having a new boyfriend and so on. I'm wondering whether part of sMM's reticence isn't because he's unsure of your feelings for him? Add to that all the things Mino said, and the fact he's very recently separated and understandably is processing a lot at this time. He might also have memories of when he went back to his W the first time and how that affected you, and so be keeping his distance til he's more sure of himself.

[SupportGroupie]

MyTreuLove

thanks this was very healing and helpful to hear. Very. I am struggling so much but yet also dont want to sit and wait and wonder any longer, its been so hard and dangerous..emotionally to be hanging on.

Your post helped a lot. I wish you much luck and support and hugs also.

thanks

SG

[SupportGroupie]

Mino...He is just separated only a few months, but they have been living as "roomates for years" sort of. I totally agree and know he is runnign on empty, i hear it in his emails. But thanks for saying it, it helps so much to reaffirm this. No BF and I broke up ...a few weeks ago. No i dont envision a life with the other man, but sure did envision a time to be together for just a weekend or so and see how it would feel in an honest, open platform, no lies, no spouses to be hurt, etc. It was so intense and real its hard to turn my back..but yet easier cause he does not live here and has nothing to offer me. I am mourning being left out, and giving so much and waiting so long..and now it seems to just be not in the cards. I am sure this is a healthy thing but hurts like hell. thanks so so much. this is a huge help. Sick of being slammed about it, i tried to do the right thing...and most often did. ARGH it sux..lol

hugs and thanks so much. my ex bf and i are very close..he is wonderful..but it did not work. he offers me everything emotionally and he is deep and kind. I wanted it to work badly, it just didnt. MM just never left my mind, to say the least. its painful. its life

hugs

SG

[SupportGroupie]

frannie...yes he definitely knows how I feel. Big time. We exchanged some deep converstaion a few months ago. I jsut held back from saying things when i had a BF cause i thought it was innapropriate..but he knows very well..too well...what i feel for him. I know he is afraid of hurting me again, cause he knows he has hurt me a lot. I think he is just drained and spent from this, his family leans on him big time and he is just lost in pain. I see that and wish him well. Just wish u could walk away finally and for good. BUT thats hard when i see an opening i did not have or had not been able to have for years since we met.

 

It feels like we may not get another chance. he does not live close...and i cant wait for ever..so i feel like there is this small window when he is single and i am, and we could at least connect on some level. Dont envision a life with him cause i would not move...and he is knee deep in family commitments, his job, son has issues, wife is begging him back..money issues..lol...AND I have major trust issues..since we never lived in same state i have no idea if half of what he says is true.

 

Pain and problems....i should be strong enuff to just walk away finally. I have not. I am weak and pathetic when it comes to this. And i want some answers really..which i will most likely never get. I want to know whats true, false...i feel so strange and betrayed.

thanks for your support and responses..it seriously helps.

I handle a lot of mhy other issues head on, and this is one i have struggled with, affairs of the heart. I never had anything like this.

SG

[2sure]

So often the MM never leaves his wife. At least this man and his wife are making a decision. And I think it is a positive thing that he is not leaving with you as a factor or because he "has someone else" on the back burner to fall to. Regardless of my position on infidelity, after reading here for some time, I realize that the OW is so often the one left with nothing. It is self inflicted pain, but everyone makes mistakes, and this pain in real.

 

As often as MM rarely leave, it is very very common that if they do...they dont go to OW. Affairs because of there secretive nature, produce their own love dynamics. These feelings are real and more intense than "every day" love. But once the circumstance change, and it is no longer an Affair - the love dynamics change too. Its sad, its heartbreaking, even to me. For OW, whose circumstance has had no change, her feelings are the same. But for MM, when his circumstance change...everything changes.

 

In any case, give him the time he needs to heal his life and make himself whole again. Even if he starts dating someone else - do not despair. Let the someone else be his rebound relationship - not you. If he remains available, wait until his ready for the real deal.

[CAMAYPARK]

SG, just hang on in there. I know that it can be frustrating at times but you will just have to hang on in there. That's all you can do. Nothing can be achieved if you push him.

[SupportGroupie]

Thanks 2 sure

this gives me extra insight into what he may be thinking. I am tired, worn down, and want to just stop worrying about where he is, what he thinks, if he is going to call, etc. Everything you said makes sense, and wow I love the part about "let her be the rebound". I agree that dynamics change and what we once were before, we are not now. AND also after 22 yrs of marriage, he probably wants freedom and time. I never wanted him to leave her for me, never. And he didnt. But wow thats just hard to know he is out there, and most likely will date someone...where he lives.

 

Waiting for a MM is never a good thing in my book. I have suffered, he has suffered and i always considered the wife in this. I hated that i could not stay away from him, and the guilt was horrid. BUT i did believe they were merely roomates. I did believe that. had own lives, had separated before...(when we met he was separated) so it all just took on a life of its own.

 

I am better off without him right now and will take a step back. And just do my own thing. The wild issues is that i have a business trip coming up in next few months to within a few hrs of where he lives..and this is what has sparked my insanity, fear, worries..lol....thoughts etc. TO see or not to see. I worry it will be a brilliant, hot, intense, loving encounter if i do go..but will only in the end lead to heartache and confusion. So i am not sure what will happen. Heck he could be back with his wife or dating someone else by then. But it sticks in my head, and taunts me....

 

thanks for your words..this site is so helpful. I usually dont come to sites for this part of my life...and boy you all are really helping sooth some crazy thpoughts and sadness. thanks so much

SG

[SupportGroupie]

Amen caymaypk

thanks. I dont want or need to push. In my mind he is the one who should beating down my door or coming to me, or finally showing what he could not. And it's his choice. If he does not want me, cant focus on anything but his own life, which is what he should be doing, but he is no good for me, or anyone right now. I am backing off....with my contact. If he contacts me i will see what he has to say. But its always vague at best...in between the I LOVE you crap....lol

hugs and thanks. i dont want to disrespect myself, or his marriage...or push. I am too good for that....God will show me the way

SG

[mytruelove]

"I am tired, worn down, and want to just stop worrying about where he is, what he thinks, if he is going to call, etc." when i feel this way i have to take a breather. take a break yourself - sometimes it's the only way to keep your sanity, self-esteem, and own identity with these guys. it could do you much good and i don't see much changing in the mean time with this guy.

 

myself i'm having a really hard time having this as a break time because of the holidays. it makes it hurt even more i fight it every day. my problem is that i'm a fighter in general and feel compelled to keep fighting for what i want. i'm just breathing through it and taking it day by day -white knuckling a lot.

 

as far as the trip in a couple of months. why not set this as a reevauluation date? don't worry about that time until it comes, then see. as you said things might be much different then so why stress now?

 

yes, please, don't disrepect yourself. i've made that mistake. if fact, i've made most of the mistakes talked about above and unfortunately you can't take them back and damage control once done is very difficult at best.

 

good luck and prayers to you sweetie. (((hugs)))

[LavendarGirl]

Hello

I was with someone else for a few years who was / is very significant in my life. I was true to him, and still care very much, but its temporarily over.

 

Hi SG,

Nice to meet you. What's interesting is that you refer to your recent BF as being temporarily over. Are you saying that you're willing to put your recent BF on the back burner until you try and get back with sMM?

 

I would say to let sMM know that you still have feelings for him, and if/when he's ready, you might want to try to rekindle things. Meanwhile, try and not put your life on hold for him. Yeah, easier said than done, but go out with friends and don't wait around for him to get back to you. If you haven't heard from him in a couple of months, maybe it's a good idea to arrange to meet him and talk face to face. Then you can assess the whole situation, perhaps there are trust issues he has, or intimacy issues...who knows.

 

Best of luck,

LG

[mytruelove]

lavender, you bring up a very good question and point. support- is the ex BF just an option to you then? if that is the case i would strongly suggest you not get reinvolved with him.

 

i've learned this from experience. you see, i married another man knowing that i was in love with SM and knowing the feelings i had for him (SM even told me not to get married!) if fact, the guy i married knew that i was in love with SM just by looking at my face after i met SM and has always been jealous of him. it has cost me literally 9 years of my life and possibly SM and soo much more. you can't fully commit to someone if your heart is somewhere else, KWIM?

 

the flip side of this is exactly why people here caution about becoming too involved with someone unavailable because the deeper your feeligs are the more it will prevent you from being able to have any kind of a real relationship with someone that is available.

 

i can tell you that i will be EXTREMELY hesitant to get involved with anyone else at this point. i don't want to make the same mistake twice. it wouldn't be fair to that person or me.

 

it makes me sad to think if SM and i don't work out. i can't even imagine having the same passion and feeligs for someone else. i know it possible, but i don't see it. i know this much though, i will not settle for anything less than those feelings now. i will not settle for anything less.

[LavendarGirl]

MTL, my MM actually called me in '03 to tell me that he was getting married, but that he wouldn't if I told him not to. What was I supposed to say? We'd been NC for about 6 years, I'd given him up for dead, I'd gotten myself in another marriage (going on 4 years when he called in '03), granted my marriage was an abyssmal failure (and would later separate from that H). So yeah, unfortunately, I know exactly what you're talking about! I have been emotionally tangled up with my MM since 1982, can't shake him though I've seriously tried. I am the poster child (okay 40 yr old child) for not being able to move on!!

[SupportGroupie]

MTL

I am so sorry for your pain during this time, the holidays. I send loving thoughts and prayers to you. I agree about the trip. I am just going to let it simmer and see what happens down the road and give it space and time. I relate to a lot of what you say, and it helps. I really do hope you find some healing space for yourself...(((HUGS)))

SG

[SupportGroupie]

LG

No sorry I was not trying to imply that I am playing the two men against one another, I surely am not. The recent ex BF and I have broken up so many times over the past few years, and i decided it had to be over. We are so close and so honest and loving with one another, that I have a lot of love for him. But we are broken up, not due to SMM. Just because we could not work things out. And you are right, I would not and am not putting my life on hold. No way. I did that for so many years. Now I am fed up and ashamed and just not wanting to live with all the BS this brings and causes. I will just move on, and keep him in mind, and deal with it when and if he contacts me. BUT i am moving on at least in that i have a full life and a crazy social life that i love. I never sit home and wait. LOL. Sh** he does not even live here..lol.

 

So I will try and let it ride and just see what happens in the future. He knows exactly how i feel. Deeply...so i am backing off and actually dont want to feel this way anymore. Its hard to be here as we all know, in this spot. AND its just wasting time WAITING for someone and some unknown...that in real life, most likely would never work out.

thanks so very much..i am feeling stronger and a bit fed up. I have cried and mourned for so many years...i am not willing to do that now. I have grown a lot

thx for tkg time out to help. It really means a lot

SG

[SupportGroupie]

MTL

I so hear you. And I am sorry for your pain and having to sit in this struggle you have. I agree..the problem is you chase the BUZZ and intensity you had with MM....or I did, and nothing ever has compared to that. It was like a drug, and i am not easily led or involved ....i just dont fall for people that hard. I did for him and it felt insane...passion and chemistry and also love. So the issues has not been that I wont move on, I just have not found anyone close to that in energy, spirit, passion and connection.

 

Or rather I should say on that CHEMICAL level. I have met and seriously dated a wonderful, loving, honest terrific man, but it lacked the chemistry and connection and depth...so i have been chasing the BUZZ ever since. I am very open to finding it with another person..but in 6 years...i never have..and i have dated a lot, when i say a lot, i mean a lot.

 

So its hard to walk away from that, when i know its out there with the recently separated man. BUT i will move forward and learn and grow. I wont sit and wait. I just cant seem to get over it. ARGHHH

 

I am so sorry your relationship cost you 9 years of your life. I hope and pray you find the love you deserve. Its amazing how people, men and women, can wait in this wonderland..wondering if this other person will come ...is it real...what ifs. WE are wasting time.....rarely do these things work out, and we and others suffer from our interest in MM....its hard to be an adult doing non adult things...like cheating, lying or covering up for things.

 

we can and should do better

((HUGS AND MORE HUGS)))))

SG

[LavendarGirl]

Hey SG,

I didn't mean to come across that you were playing two men against each other, but rather that your word choice of being "temporarily over" was interesting. That maybe it reveals more ambivalence you have over your BF than you may realize.

 

Good for you to maintain a full life. If you find a secret on how to erase him from your mind, do let me know, 'cause I could use a suggestion in that arena myself!

 

Best of luck to you,

LG

[SupportGroupie]

LG

wow what a story, man. THATS so hard. Do you still see this man? Is he single. married again, are you? sorry if i missed something, I am all chatted out..lol

 

SO wow, what pressure...man i feel bad for you. WHY do we get hooked on these ^&)^&*( men who probably dont deserve us, or who would cheat and lie with us...etc.

 

I am sorry for your tangled web.....really i am

HUGS

SG

[LavendarGirl]

Hey SG,

Well I'm afraid my story is not so unique...well I thought it was until I found this forum a couple of months ago, and then had a V-8 moment! We were high school/college sweethearts from 82 until 86, I broke up with him, and we remained friends. He carried the torch, I got married (exH #1) in 88, he got married in 91 and then the A started in 94 (after a year of both trying hard to resist but getting sucked into the vortex). That A ended in 95, both of us licking wounds. I got divorced from exH in 96 and then MM and I went our separate ways, in the interim he got divorced from exW in 98, and I thought that was that (we were NC from about 96 until 03). During that time he was overseas mostly, the temptation was very distant, at least geographically!

 

I got married to exH #2 in 99 for all the wrong reasons, stayed in for the same wrong reasons, and then separated/filing divorce this year. In 03, unexpectedly MM (who wasn't M at the time) called to say he met Miss Right and was engaged to be married, living abroad, but would call it off it I asked him to. It was out of the blue. And I wasn't in the right mindframe to tell him to not get married. But he came back to the states with the new W in 04, we saw each other and started a LD A...again...and this time it lasted 2 years, at which point I told him we couldn't continue on. I kept him NC for another 2 years (couldn't bear the hypocrisy and being the Sideline Gal in his life, I was willing to leave exH for him, but he wasn't willing to leave her).

 

He contacted me in the summer, coincidentally around the same time I was initiating my own D, and said he couldn't live without me, and wanted to leave the W and be with me. They don't have kids, btw, if it makes any difference (it does to me, I couldn't bear to have him leave kids for my sake). Only caveat is that he's in Iraq (military guy), and so I bought for a while the excuse that he couldn't call it off with the W while being LD (she's here in the states).

 

But when I pushed for a timeline, or for him to get a move-on with what he proposed to me back in June, I started to see the waffling and backpeddling. I began to seriously question him in October, to which he made promises (specifically to start things when he next saw the W on leave in December). Well, he's with her now, and he's not moving anything forward. So, this morning I sent him an email saying we can't continue communication until/unless he is separated/pending divorce (and able to date me without the W being a factor). I feel oddly relieved at taking a stand. How persistent I am at keeping my ground...well, I really hope I can remain strong. He just makes me so weak in the knees. Honestly.

 

Very hard to cut him lose, he's the love of my life, I've tried living with my feelings, denying my feelings, even hating him (which works for a time). But I just can't shake him. But I can see the writing on the wall, he's stringing me along for selfish reasons, if he wanted to be with me bad enough, he could make it happen.

 

There! Tried to make a long story short! That's the jist of it!

 

-LG.

[mytruelove]

lavender, wow, your story also sounds soo much like mine-wow!!! do you know i still have visions of the time period when my guy was wearing a wedding ring on his finger it burnt right through my heart (as it did him when i was wearing one)- hurts to even think of that- i couldn't bear it again (unless i was the one to put it there ...i would definitely have to go NC.

 

i'll be interested to see what he responds to your email. if it helps at all sometimes NC is what it takes to make that decision. back when i decided to give my marriage another try for a brief period and SM saw the ring on my finger he declared he couldn't see me for a month. it was the longest hardest month of my life -but it was that time period that i needed to really internally commit to him. now i think i need to be strong enough to do the same with him and declare NC for a while and walk away from him.

 

think we got our own little support group here. (((hugs and prayers)))

[mytruelove]

SG thanks so much for your support and prayers!!! keep them coming i need them.

 

yes, it is definitely a chemical thing. i've only experienced it with him and i've dated enough also. i swear i can actually smell his phermones. i always heard all this stuff about phermones and the laws of attraction, but never believed in them until i met him.

[LavendarGirl]

MTL,

I was reading your earlier posts and was having such a deja vu moment. Yes, very much similar situations we find ourselves in! Sad, but true! It's a very lonely place, isn't it, I have only two friends who know my story, they are both very nonjudgemental and supportive. The rest of my world has no clue.

 

I can't put all the blame on my MM. In 94-95 we both pledged to keep it casual and put our M's first and foremost. We were kidding ourselves, and the A was doomed from the start. In 04 I just didn't have the strength to say no to him, though of course the decision to get back into an A was mutual and I'm not a victim. I was proud of my NC efforts 96 until this year, told him I'm not a booty call and don't want to be treated that way. So, I thought when he contacted me in June that he knew my ground rules. I think he does to some degree, I certainly hope that this NC is a wake up call for him, I can see things with more clarity and I'm relieved that I feel strong enough (well, I do today, check again with me in a week!) to keep to my NC this time around. There's no kids with his W, there's no reason to string either or both of us along, and like the old saying goes, there comes a time to have to decide between your wife and your mistress, in the end you can't have them both. And that time is really now. Because I can't continue to accept the crumbs. It might be different if I weren't so emotionally involved with him, but I really want the whole enchilada, and don't want to have to settle.

 

Good to read the forum and see I'm not the only human being who is in this predicament. A bit scary, but important to read, that sometimes the MM becomes single and contrary to intuition they go chicken on the OW. I have to drill that one in my head, it's a possibility. Yeouch.

 

Thanks for the support, it's much needed right now.

 

--LG

[SupportGroupie]

HEY LG and MTL

wow I can so see myself getting caught up in the same things, and some stories are similar, tho I have never been married...nor engaged. I feel for you both ..and send support.

 

It's wild coming here and realizing all of us feel our situation is so so unique and we are the only ones who have this intense, scary real..and deep connection to someone we think or thought was the one, our soul mate.

 

BUT how can it be. We are fools to do this, fools to do it to ourselves, our loved ones, having to lie to friends...for what? For some man who is lying to us, lying to his wife...and so far, not really changing his life. MEN will leave their wives if they need or want to...for the right reasons. Women leave men for right reasons. BUT also affairs lead to some terrible things...and who really can trust a man that lied to his wife over years and years.....its crazy to think this man (these men) are going to give us what we want. We all deserve faithful and loving people, the wives do, we do, they do.

 

So we should all get off this fricken treadmill and stop dreaming about some fantasy that probably wont happen. I sure know after reading a lot of posts and living with this sin, grief, anger and hurt for so long is just wasting precious time, precious life. Even if these MM are really our soul mates...perhaps God or the universe would have made them available and honest...and here...not with someone else.

 

I am in same boat, i dont judge, i send love and support. BUT we have to take control. We let men get away with it, and then wonder why we cant trust em. We cant trust em cause we are the ones sleeping with someone elses husband or boyfriend or whatever. It has to stop somewhere.

 

Here is to wishing and hoping that we get real, get honest and start living honest lives with integrity. I know i want to. I am not trying to be mean...or harsh...if you all can find true love in your MM, and it works, God bless. But i am hoping and trying to break from my separated now guy...and not look back. I probably cant do it, but i know i can move forward without having him be the focus...as much.

 

hugs and love

SG