BusinessSocks Posted June 21, 2007 Share Posted June 21, 2007 I know it's kind of rare, but I'm curious as a newbie on here to find others like myself. Who actually ended up with the MM or MW they were having an A with? How long have you been together now? I married my MM 5 years ago, and we are still madly in love with three kiddos now. I'd love to chat with others like us! Link to post Share on other sites
Lizzie60 Posted June 21, 2007 Share Posted June 21, 2007 I know it's kind of rare, but I'm curious as a newbie on here to find others like myself. Who actually ended up with the MM or MW they were having an A with? How long have you been together now? I married my MM 5 years ago, and we are still madly in love with three kiddos now. I'd love to chat with others like us! I married my MM... I went out 11 years (oups I said 9 years in another post but it was 11) with him before he moved with me... (when his wife left him) he was too chicken sh*t to leave her. I was very young... I was 15 when we started... at 26, he moved with me, I had my daughter then... we were together for another 18 years... we had a son... he had 3 daughters from his previous marriage. I left him in 1996... after 18 years... so a total of 29 yrs together as lovers. Link to post Share on other sites
Onelife Posted June 22, 2007 Share Posted June 22, 2007 I know it's kind of rare, but I'm curious as a newbie on here to find others like myself. Who actually ended up with the MM or MW they were having an A with? How long have you been together now? I married my MM 5 years ago, and we are still madly in love with three kiddos now. I'd love to chat with others like us! So far only Lizzie replied. Don't I wish there will be more so it will raise the statistics! But NO I AM NOT A FORMER OW MARRIED TO MM. Though I wish. Just want to say "Congratuations!" to you for getting to be together with your MM and still madly in love with each other. Link to post Share on other sites
Author BusinessSocks Posted June 22, 2007 Author Share Posted June 22, 2007 Thanks for the replies. I hope to find more, too. And, Lizzie, I'm sad to hear you're no longer together after all those years. Onelife, thanks for the congratulations! I really feel so lucky to be with the love of my life, but still, some others frown and just don't want to believe that we are the real deal. It's nice to get to celebrate our love and family with others that "get" it, kwim? Here's hoping more reply...... Link to post Share on other sites
TogetherForever Posted June 22, 2007 Share Posted June 22, 2007 Thanks for the replies. I hope to find more, too. And, Lizzie, I'm sad to hear you're no longer together after all those years. Onelife, thanks for the congratulations! I really feel so lucky to be with the love of my life, but still, some others frown and just don't want to believe that we are the real deal. It's nice to get to celebrate our love and family with others that "get" it, kwim? Here's hoping more reply...... Business, Sooooo happy for you I am!!!!!!!!!!! I'm with my s/o for 7 years now. No plans on getting married. Did it once & that's enough. You can go back & read my posts if you'd like. Again, much happiness to you & your husband. Link to post Share on other sites
sunshineyone Posted June 26, 2007 Share Posted June 26, 2007 Hi, another newbie here and like businessocks just celebrated our 5th wedding anniversary with FMM , ours was a bit of a whirlwind meeting and we had both left our former partners to be together within 3 months of meeting, tough times the following couple of years trying to work everything out as neither of us wanted to cause more pain than necessary to our ex's but now 8 years down the line l for one feel its been worth every mment and l would do it all over again if l had to....keep the faith in your relationships and eventually they will work out ... Sue http://www.loveshack.org/forums/images/red/smilies/smile.gif Mum to Ry, stem-mum to ellie and wife of the most fabulous man on this earth............... Link to post Share on other sites
TogetherForever Posted June 26, 2007 Share Posted June 26, 2007 Hi, another newbie here and like businessocks just celebrated our 5th wedding anniversary with FMM , ours was a bit of a whirlwind meeting and we had both left our former partners to be together within 3 months of meeting, tough times the following couple of years trying to work everything out as neither of us wanted to cause more pain than necessary to our ex's but now 8 years down the line l for one feel its been worth every mment and l would do it all over again if l had to....keep the faith in your relationships and eventually they will work out ... Sue http://www.loveshack.org/forums/images/red/smilies/smile.gif Mum to Ry, stem-mum to ellie and wife of the most fabulous man on this earth............... Sun, Welcome to LoveShack & that's an awesome signature!!! Link to post Share on other sites
HappyAtLast Posted June 26, 2007 Share Posted June 26, 2007 I've been married to my OW for somewhere around 30 years now. Life is good.... Link to post Share on other sites
frannie Posted June 29, 2007 Share Posted June 29, 2007 I'm not so sure it's all that rare. More like you won't get a lot of replies on a forum aimed mainly at younger people, and those with problems. Link to post Share on other sites
Author BusinessSocks Posted June 30, 2007 Author Share Posted June 30, 2007 I've been married to my OW for somewhere around 30 years now. Life is good.... AWESOME!! Congrats! Link to post Share on other sites
Author BusinessSocks Posted June 30, 2007 Author Share Posted June 30, 2007 I'm not so sure it's all that rare. More like you won't get a lot of replies on a forum aimed mainly at younger people, and those with problems. Good point. But I felt compelled to post a positive outcome story for all of those in the confusing throws of such relationships; I know so many people told me we would never get together and that if we did, we'd be miserable. I hope it gives someone really in love hope, no matter how dark their situation may seem now. Link to post Share on other sites
PoshPrincess Posted July 3, 2007 Share Posted July 3, 2007 Good point. But I felt compelled to post a positive outcome story for all of those in the confusing throws of such relationships; I know so many people told me we would never get together and that if we did, we'd be miserable. I hope it gives someone really in love hope, no matter how dark their situation may seem now. Oh God, supposed to be avoiding this site and others like it as a way of getting exMM outta my head but I knew it wouldn't be long before I caved in. One day.................. Congrats BusinessSocks, so pleased for you and hubby. Would like to know how long the A lasted before he left, did you have any periods of NC, break-ups, etc, did you A come out by accident or did he confess? Would like to hear your story. Not because I think there will ever be a reconciliation with my exMM. Just interested! It's so good to hear of happy endings for a OW. Saying that, I don't believe the lack of positive replies to your post are a truie indication, like Frannie said, people on this site are mainly here because of there problems. Thanks very much for showing up and giving us a positive side to all this! Link to post Share on other sites
new beginning Posted July 4, 2007 Share Posted July 4, 2007 Hoping to one day be in your place... I think. I've been involved with my MM for 3+ years. We have a 2 year old daughter. His W knew about the baby but stayed; DDay #2 a few months ago, and now they are filing for divorce- just waiting for papers to go through. He has 3 kids w/ W, ages 3-8. We are taking things slow, as obviously this is new for all involved, but at this point we are hoping to one day be together. Not rushing in to marriage, but not ruling it out... Link to post Share on other sites
GreenEyedLady Posted July 4, 2007 Share Posted July 4, 2007 Who actually ended up with the MM or MW they were having an A with? Why get married? I think it's just as important to choose to be with someone rather than HAVE to... Link to post Share on other sites
lonelybird Posted July 5, 2007 Share Posted July 5, 2007 What are those cracked family, wife and children are doing now :( wish they can get over the wounds and find happiness again Sorry, carry on Link to post Share on other sites
sb129 Posted July 5, 2007 Share Posted July 5, 2007 My exMM left his W for me and we stayed together for another year, he talked about marriage and more kids. But I realised that his marriage had failed for the same reason our R did- he simply wasn't a very nice person, and once the chase was up, I realised that his W probably was in the right the whole time, and he had fed me a pack of lies. we broke up last year, and I have never looked back. Link to post Share on other sites
Zona76 Posted July 5, 2007 Share Posted July 5, 2007 WOW never thought about it but gee.. guess I fall into this category. We'd met and held a long INTERNET relationship for several years. Though both of us semi-separated, our spouses would fall back into our lives from time to time. His son was living with him and knew of me. In an argument with his mom he told her to stop putting down his Dad as he was happy for the first time in his life. She pressed and then approached him and asked.... and he confirmed and she said it would be best to divorce. Meanwhile my H had met someone. She wanted to see Divorce papers before he moved in with her.... And it was time for us to move forward. Robert was from Canada and we had Immigration to deal with before we married. Our ex's have not remarried. Link to post Share on other sites
precious1357 Posted July 12, 2007 Share Posted July 12, 2007 At this stage of my life (51) to have an affair with a MM is so crazy BUT I have NEVER felt this kind of love. We discuss marriage, even though he is still married, he plans to divorced. I have said to him that I will not stay in this affair too long. His wife has called me, she saw my number in the cell phone bill. I told her to talk with him about it. He said he apologized to her because he dosen't want to hurt her, but he does not love her and has not felt love for her for more than 10 years. The real problem for me now is that I feel so sad because I don't want to hurt anyone. We all attend the same church and he is pretty important in the church. I will have to leave the church and go to another one once we do get married. I'm just sad because what we have together is very very special. Link to post Share on other sites
TogetherForever Posted July 12, 2007 Share Posted July 12, 2007 At this stage of my life (51) to have an affair with a MM is so crazy BUT I have NEVER felt this kind of love. We discuss marriage, even though he is still married, he plans to divorced. I have said to him that I will not stay in this affair too long. His wife has called me, she saw my number in the cell phone bill. I told her to talk with him about it. He said he apologized to her because he dosen't want to hurt her, but he does not love her and has not felt love for her for more than 10 years. The real problem for me now is that I feel so sad because I don't want to hurt anyone. We all attend the same church and he is pretty important in the church. I will have to leave the church and go to another one once we do get married. I'm just sad because what we have together is very very special. Why on earth will you have to go to another church? If he divorces & you marry him there's nothing to make you leave your current church. If they are God loving people, they will accept you. The God I know is all loving & all forgiving. Therefore, he will accept you also. Link to post Share on other sites
precious1357 Posted July 12, 2007 Share Posted July 12, 2007 Thanks for your reply. The church I belong to has a lot of judgmental, hateful people, sorry to say. I've been a member for 19 years and was becoming a judgmental person to a degree. I really love this man so much, he is so wonderful...please understand that just because he is married, he is not perfect, but things happen. I never wanted to be involved with a MM let alone someone I knew but it happened. We are likened to 2 empty vessels who have found each other and fill each other. Why on earth will you have to go to another church? If he divorces & you marry him there's nothing to make you leave your current church. If they are God loving people, they will accept you. The God I know is all loving & all forgiving. Therefore, he will accept you also. Link to post Share on other sites
TogetherForever Posted July 12, 2007 Share Posted July 12, 2007 Thanks for your reply. The church I belong to has a lot of judgmental, hateful people, sorry to say. I've been a member for 19 years and was becoming a judgmental person to a degree. I really love this man so much, he is so wonderful...please understand that just because he is married, he is not perfect, but things happen. I never wanted to be involved with a MM let alone someone I knew but it happened. We are likened to 2 empty vessels who have found each other and fill each other. A church with judgmental, hateful people:eek:. That's not a church at all. Link to post Share on other sites
outofdarkness Posted July 12, 2007 Share Posted July 12, 2007 I can only dream of happiness w/ somone else due to my circumstances...I am sorry but I can't imagine that anyone can live happily and w/ themselves period, after having hurt so many others...Of course, having financial security DOES help alot! I know this happens alot, but I pesonally don't think it's right to brag about it...A's are selfish and destructive...period...for ALL involved... Link to post Share on other sites
outofdarkness Posted July 12, 2007 Share Posted July 12, 2007 I can only dream of happiness w/ somone else due to my circumstances...I am sorry but I can't imagine that anyone can live happily and w/ themselves period, after having hurt so many others...Of course, having financial security DOES help alot! I know this happens alot, but I pesonally don't think it's right to brag about it...A's are selfish and destructive...period...for ALL involved... R u all saying that you can just do whatever you want to do, ask for forgiveness and then live happily ever after? NO, my GOD is not unforgiving and judgemental either, but he DOES have rules that we are suppose to live by...They are called the 10 commandments and adultery is one of them... Link to post Share on other sites
precious1357 Posted July 12, 2007 Share Posted July 12, 2007 No, we cannot just do whatever we want to and yes God does have rules and the 10 commandments for us to live by, however, did you read the Bible where it states that "whoever says he is without sin, makes God a liar", God knows that we will never be perfect, that is why He provided Jesus Christ to die for our sins, I don't want to be a sinner nor did I want to be involved with a MM, it happened and I am truly sorry! We are both decent people who happened to fall in love and yes he is committing adultery and I am committing fornication, we know this and will move away from the sins. R u all saying that you can just do whatever you want to do, ask for forgiveness and then live happily ever after? NO, my GOD is not unforgiving and judgemental either, but he DOES have rules that we are suppose to live by...They are called the 10 commandments and adultery is one of them... Link to post Share on other sites
Author BusinessSocks Posted July 14, 2007 Author Share Posted July 14, 2007 Congrats BusinessSocks, so pleased for you and hubby. Would like to know how long the A lasted before he left, did you have any periods of NC, break-ups, etc, did you A come out by accident or did he confess? Would like to hear your story. Not because I think there will ever be a reconciliation with my exMM. Just interested! It's so good to hear of happy endings for a OW. Saying that, I don't believe the lack of positive replies to your post are a truie indication, like Frannie said, people on this site are mainly here because of there problems. Thanks very much for showing up and giving us a positive side to all this! Sorry I've been absent for so long;we were on vacation! The A was emotional for a year before it was P. We were only P with each other a couple of times before we both went to our then spouses and told them what we had done. I had told my now exH that I was falling for my now H way before I knew he had feelings for me. After telling our spouses, we decided to have NC until we made decisions independently of what we were going to do with our lives. We did see each other a couple of times here and there:love:, but eventually went about 18 months with NC. He left his W within weeks; it took me two years to finally leave my H (I was fearful on many levels, one of which was that my H was abusive). Neither of us had kids in our previous marriages, and both of us were already living in separate bedrooms of our houses. Neither of us had ever had an A before, and both of us had had talks with our former spouses before hand about divorcing, even before we met each other. Does that cover the questions? Link to post Share on other sites
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