I ended the affair we have a 3 month old daughter he lied about being married

[law1973]

Hello, I have a three month old daughter with a man whom I thought was mine. He obviously forgot to tell me one thing while we were dating. That he was married. I should have known, but I got tired of investigating men and doing background checks all the time. Almost two years went by from the time I knew him before I became intimate. After I became pregnant with our daughter June 06. He told me in Aug. 06, that he was married. I wanted to have an abortion. Having his child out of adultery was not going to happen. My mother and friends told me to not kill my baby. I know it is cruel, but sometimes I question that. They don't have to answer my daughters question when she is older. "Where is daddy"? What am I supposed to tell her?

This man is a total liar, and he truly needs professional help. I look at him, and I almost feel sorry for him in a sense. He has to be miserable. I was happy when I met him, I trusted him, and now, he left me with another child. I already had children. But my life was totally under control. I resent him, his presense, and all I can do is ask for God to help me.

I wish I never met him. This man lied to the point where he said he was going to marry me, adopt my children I had already, you name it. Now he tells me.

Not to mention as each month passed by, more kids kept popping up he never told me about. Now he has seven, including my daughter, then he tells me today, he wants another son, because he only has one, and wants another one. I wish he would not even open his ignorant mouth once more to me. The only good thing is my daughter is here. I look at her and I am more angry with him. I have never called a man the names I have called him in my head. I have made up new names for people like him.

Women, please, men who lie, and cheat, are no good!! They suck!!!

Think about my daughter, think about the children, his children, his wife, me, women who don't know a man is married. I almost died having this mans child, my daugher and I both almost did not make it during her delivery. In three months he has changed 1 diaper. He sees my daughter once a week for like 20 minutes. Not right man, not cool. As we speak he is out in the club dancing, with a wife at home with three kids. Me here with one, two in Texas, and another one here with another woman. Think about the children. They are innocent.

I was born out of adultery, my fathers family never accepted me. To see my daughter to have to live through the same thing is terror. I cry everynight and all I can do is pray. Please Leave Married Men Alone.

[LucreziaBorgia]

Are you going to be getting child support from him?

[Reckless]

yes, two words kept popping into my head...

 

child.support.

 

must be a wealthy man to have seven children and be hoping for more...

 

As for what you tell her, you tell her the truth, that she is loved by her mother. Hopefully her father will maintain contact (the dirtbag) and he will be the one to explain his actions when she's old enough to understand.

 

More and more children grow up in reconstructed households so, whether you eventually find a loving stable partner or not, the fact that her parents do not live together or that she has half-brothers and sisters will not in any way be detrimental to her emotional well being as long as her family, aunts uncles grandparents etc make her feel loved and secure.

[law1973]

Yes, I am already getting it. I am a paralegal and that is what I do. He knows better than to not financially take care of his child.

[Seen_It_All]

What a complete SCUMBAG. Losers like him should be neutered. I sincerely hope you make this piece of garbage's life MISERABLE for the rest of his entire life.

[IpAncA]

What a jerk. Glad your getting child support.

 

So what are you going to do now?

[GregsBad]

He's a scumbag dirtball.

And I agree that he has financial responsibility for the baby.

 

You're a paralegal with experience at getting background information.

And experience with child support issues.

He has a track record but you "got tired of getting background checks" so you let him slide.

 

You're a paralegal with knowledge of what it means to mitigate risk.

 

But you started an affair with a scumbag dirtball,

with no background check

with no birth control - or at least once.

you already have children (an important factor as well)

 

And absolutelty NO mention, in your writings here, of any responsibility of your own.

 

There are studies, be glad to point you to them, where there is a ground swell of cases of young men, hooking up with serial "pregger" women (already with one or more kids) who get themselves knocked up AGAIN and hook him into 18 years of support ... and come up with a sob story about why they had to keep the baby ... and rant about what a creep he is and brag how they "got him" with child support.

 

I'm not making this up. When I first started hearing about these stories I thought it was cruel to insinuate that any women would get herself pregnant to hook him into marriage or hook him financially. But the more I read the more I could see that it really happens.

 

It looks like you're in that mode. I'd like to believe I'm wrong.

 

I'm curious dear, are your other children from one father or more than one.

 

If you think I'm cruel by asking these things, you'll face these questions sooner or later from other sources. Especially if you keep pointing ALL the fingers at the scumbag you slept with. You were part of the cause of your problems too.

 

You really need to at least pretend that you're acknowledging some responsibilty for all of this, especially since you had MORE than the usual where-with-all to have prevented it.

 

Are you going to get knocked up again? Or have you finally learned a lesson?

[GreenEyedLady]

I'm curious dear, are your other children from one father or more than one.

 

Are you going to get knocked up again? Or have you finally learned a lesson?

 

I can't believe that I'm reading this!

 

And what if her children are from one man? Is that ok in YOUR EYES then?

 

I'm really sick of all the men who think a woman would want them so bad she would RUIN her life by getting pregnant just to keep him...(Not that I'm saying having a child without a partner will ruin your life, but it definitely limits what you can do)...

 

Please...a man knows how babies are made...he doesn't want one, HE should be more careful...

[GregsBad]

I can't believe that I'm reading this!

 

And what if her children are from one man? Is that ok in YOUR EYES then?

 

I'm really sick of all the men who think a woman would want them so bad she would RUIN her life by getting pregnant just to keep him...(Not that I'm saying having a child without a partner will ruin your life, but it definitely limits what you can do)...

 

Please...a man knows how babies are made...he doesn't want one, HE should be more careful...

 

She is also responsible for her getting pregnant. She's acting like she had nothing to do with it.

And she let a scumbag impregnate her, a woman with the power to have checked him out before-hand.

She had other children to think about too.

 

So tell me GEL, if YOU had been able to check him out, as easlily as she could have, would YOU just let that slide, and let youself get impregnated. And if you had other children, would you be that foolish to let a scumbag into your family circle, without checking him out. I know how easy it would have been to check him out, and she knows too.

 

And then would you behave, as she is, like he's the total a**hole but she's innocent in it all.

 

I think most women would be able say they themselves share some of the responsibility.

[law1973]

I am quite glad you asked, for people like you whom, have no other thing to do, than to judge others I will lower myself and explain something to you: One, I do believe in birth control, it failed. Second, I am not financially broke. Third, I accept my responsibility to the fullest extent. Fourth, I did a background check through my sources, however, it did not go back far enough. and in Conclusion, I do NOT allow not people to validate me, nor do I allow opinions to sway me one way or another. Opinions hold no factual ground with me, they come dime a dozen. I am going to be a success in my field, and at this time am dealing with a very painful situation, but with time it will get better. I am sure of myself, and also sure that this man will take care of his child, as he is doing at this time. To the fact of my other children, I am single due to being abused for five years by mt ex. Speak on things when you have your information correct. It is very easy to sit in a seat of judgment for others, however, you never know where you may be one day, and you don't know where the person your judging has been either. So be careful. I have judged others in the past, it is not a very good thing to do. We must be willing to accept the things that we cannot change as well. I am so glad your life is so perfect, that you have nothing else to do than go online, and find faults in others, I feel sorry for you, due to your being that closed minded and immature. We are in here sharing with one another. Unless you have a degree in Psychology, or are an acting Dr. Phil, Etc. Save your unwarranted opinions for when you talk to yourself. Thanks and God Bless

[outofdarkness]

Hello, I have a three month old daughter with a man whom I thought was mine. He obviously forgot to tell me one thing while we were dating. That he was married. I should have known, but I got tired of investigating men and doing background checks all the time. Almost two years went by from the time I knew him before I became intimate. After I became pregnant with our daughter June 06. He told me in Aug. 06, that he was married. I wanted to have an abortion. Having his child out of adultery was not going to happen. My mother and friends told me to not kill my baby. I know it is cruel, but sometimes I question that. They don't have to answer my daughters question when she is older. "Where is daddy"? What am I supposed to tell her?

This man is a total liar, and he truly needs professional help. I look at him, and I almost feel sorry for him in a sense. He has to be miserable. I was happy when I met him, I trusted him, and now, he left me with another child. I already had children. But my life was totally under control. I resent him, his presense, and all I can do is ask for God to help me.

I wish I never met him. This man lied to the point where he said he was going to marry me, adopt my children I had already, you name it. Now he tells me.

Not to mention as each month passed by, more kids kept popping up he never told me about. Now he has seven, including my daughter, then he tells me today, he wants another son, because he only has one, and wants another one. I wish he would not even open his ignorant mouth once more to me. The only good thing is my daughter is here. I look at her and I am more angry with him. I have never called a man the names I have called him in my head. I have made up new names for people like him.

Women, please, men who lie, and cheat, are no good!! They suck!!!

Think about my daughter, think about the children, his children, his wife, me, women who don't know a man is married. I almost died having this mans child, my daugher and I both almost did not make it during her delivery. In three months he has changed 1 diaper. He sees my daughter once a week for like 20 minutes. Not right man, not cool. As we speak he is out in the club dancing, with a wife at home with three kids. Me here with one, two in Texas, and another one here with another woman. Think about the children. They are innocent.

I was born out of adultery, my fathers family never accepted me. To see my daughter to have to live through the same thing is terror. I cry everynight and all I can do is pray. Please Leave Married Men Alone.

So sorry for your pain...I can't even imagine how you feel..Many men lie about being married when they have affairs. It's all about them..They don't care who they hurt of run over...My H cheated repeatedly, and at the time, he would have and did say just about anything he had to to the OW's to string them along. Sorry again...I'm sure your daughter is beautiful...A true gift from God to YOU!!! I understand why you feel the way you do now, but you are truly blessed to have a healthy baby ...God Bless both of you and to the MM...Well...I'm w/you..Words are coming to my mind that I haven't even heard of!!!

[serial muse]

But you started an affair with a scumbag dirtball,

with no background check

with no birth control - or at least once.

you already have children (an important factor as well)

 

And absolutelty NO mention, in your writings here, of any responsibility of your own.

 

There are studies, be glad to point you to them, where there is a ground swell of cases of young men, hooking up with serial "pregger" women (already with one or more kids) who get themselves knocked up AGAIN and hook him into 18 years of support ... and come up with a sob story about why they had to keep the baby ... and rant about what a creep he is and brag how they "got him" with child support.

 

I'm not making this up. When I first started hearing about these stories I thought it was cruel to insinuate that any women would get herself pregnant to hook him into marriage or hook him financially. But the more I read the more I could see that it really happens.

 

It looks like you're in that mode. I'd like to believe I'm wrong.

 

Wow, these are some of the nastier insinuations I've read here. Hope you read the OP's latest post, where she explains that she did do a background check but it didn't go back far enough, and that her children are, in fact, from her exH.

 

Seriously, accusing someone of getting pregnant to rope him into child support - a completely unsubstantiated attack based on what this woman wrote - is pretty low, Greg. Jeez.

 

Yes, I think the exMM is clearly the bad guy here. Sorry. I'm the first to agree that the OW/OM bears responsibility in an affair, and I know that there's no one so vigilant and fervent as someone who's "recovering" (whether from an affair, like you, or from addiction of some other kind). So I know that you're trying to spread the word of taking responsibility on the OW/OM boards, and I guess you think you're doing a public service or something.

 

But your nearly religious fervor on the topic is no excuse for outright cruelty and unfounded accusations. She didn't know he was married. Period. That means she didn't intend to be an OW. Therefore, the case is different from yours (and many others' on this board, as well).

 

Anyway, to the OP - I couldn't tell, but I hope you are not in contact with him now, except to discuss your child. But good for you for recognizing the snake for what he is.

[GregsBad]

Wow, these are some of the nastier insinuations I've read here. Hope you read the OP's latest post, where she explains that she did do a background check but it didn't go back far enough, and that her children are, in fact, from her exH.

 

Seriously, accusing someone of getting pregnant to rope him into child support - a completely unsubstantiated attack based on what this woman wrote - is pretty low, Greg. Jeez.

 

Yes, I think the exMM is clearly the bad guy here. Sorry. I'm the first to agree that the OW/OM bears responsibility in an affair, and I know that there's no one so vigilant and fervent as someone who's "recovering" (whether from an affair, like you, or from addiction of some other kind). So I know that you're trying to spread the word of taking responsibility on the OW/OM boards, and I guess you think you're doing a public service or something.

 

But your nearly religious fervor on the topic is no excuse for outright cruelty and unfounded accusations. She didn't know he was married. Period. That means she didn't intend to be an OW. Therefore, the case is different from yours (and many others' on this board, as well).

 

Anyway, to the OP - I couldn't tell, but I hope you are not in contact with him now, except to discuss your child. But good for you for recognizing the snake for what he is.

 

Yes Serial, I knew it was harsh when I said it. I'm sorry I didn't ask my questions more nicely. I'm really not judging her for morality - how could I?

 

I sometimes reply to others with sympathy and validation. But in her case I said what I said for a good reason which I thought was clear in my posts. I was a little shocked that she would put her kids at risk. Anyway - she got a nasty sting from me.

 

Go back and look:

She did indicate to us, at first, that she did NOT do a backgound check.

 

She said in her OP "He obviously forgot to tell me one thing while we were dating. That he was married. I should have known, but I got tired of investigating men and doing background checks all the time." That says, to me, that she let him slide - and didn't investigate.

 

But now she says she DID run a check -

- but didn't go back far enough.

 

That doesn't make sense either. He's married NOW!

She didn't have to go back at all! Get it? He is married NOW.

Marital status is one of the primary facts that come out of backgound checks. I do them frequently too.

 

BTW:

My background check says right in the header "an unmarried man"

- I love that part

 

No - I still don't buy that a paralegal couldn't find out if a BF is currently married.

 

I still think most women, with children, having her power to investigate, would MOST DEFINITELY find out of the guy was married.

If it was you - I'll bet YOU would have if you knew how!

 

ANYWAY - I will try to be much nicer in the future.

 

Law, I apologize for being so insensitive

[frygirl]

 

I still think most women, with children, having her power to investigate, would MOST DEFINITELY find out of the guy was married.

If it was you - I'll bet YOU would have if you knew how!

 

 

Ummm .... no. I am a single mom who is currently dating and I don't feel the need to do background checks on the men I date. Most women don't. If a man tells me that he isn't married, I trust him unless he gives me reason to doubt it.

 

I do check to see if they are registered sex offenders, but that's it. When I first meet men I don't just assume they are all evil liars out to get me.

 

You can't fault her for trusting a man she date dfor 2 years. The fact he was able to keep it a secret for so long shows how manipulative he really was. I really feel for the OP.

[GregsBad]

Ummm .... no. I am a single mom who is currently dating and I don't feel the need to do background checks on the men I date. Most women don't. If a man tells me that he isn't married, I trust him unless he gives me reason to doubt it.

 

I do check to see if they are registered sex offenders, but that's it. When I first meet men I don't just assume they are all evil liars out to get me.

 

You can't fault her for trusting a man she date dfor 2 years. The fact he was able to keep it a secret for so long shows how manipulative he really was. I really feel for the OP.

 

You're funny

 

Remember I said if you had her power to check him out, you probably would ???

 

And I kinda think YOU would, if you could, ESPECIALLY you - know why?

Because you check on men to see if they're a registered sex offender.

 

So I think that if you had access to the background check web sites ...

- you would, you would, I know you would

 

See, I'm not talking about every guy you date ...

Just the ones you get serious about.

 

Girl ... you couldn't resist ...

Imagine:

- You're already subscribing to the service

- Just click that mouse button

- surf around for a minute or so ...

and bingo ... lot's of good stuff on your boyfriend.

 

Oh hell ... If you were already a subscriber

- you'd even check on your girl friend's BFs for them!

 

Girls snoop! ... They Dooooooooo! - It's OK though.

.

[GreenEyedLady]

She is also responsible for her getting pregnant. She's acting like she had nothing to do with it.

And she let a scumbag impregnate her, a woman with the power to have checked him out before-hand.

She had other children to think about too.

 

So tell me GEL, if YOU had been able to check him out, as easlily as she could have, would YOU just let that slide, and let youself get impregnated. And if you had other children, would you be that foolish to let a scumbag into your family circle, without checking him out. I know how easy it would have been to check him out, and she knows too.

 

And then would you behave, as she is, like he's the total a**hole but she's innocent in it all.

 

I think most women would be able say they themselves share some of the responsibility.

 

You know a similar situation happened to me, except the guy wasn't married...He was someone I KNEW since high school...and I even used the morning after pill(s) method and I STILL ended up pregnant...and yes I had two children and it was an accident which I tried to rectify, hence the morning after routine...

 

And I heard the same s*** from him that I was "ruining" his life...and as much as I thought how I shouldn't have the baby and how it would probably "ruin" my life, I still didn't terminate the pregnancy because to me that is wrong...

 

I lost the baby right before week 12...

 

And I still look back and want to laugh...how would it have ruined his life? Men don't take care of their kids EVERY DAY...they go off and enjoy their lives free and its the mothers who kiss skinned knees and do homework projects and buy school lunches and every other thing that mothers do every day without thinking about it...

 

So I'm sorry...if a guy doesn't want his life "ruined" he better cover it up...

[serial muse]

Yes Serial, I knew it was harsh when I said it. I'm sorry I didn't ask my questions more nicely. I'm really not judging her for morality - how could I?

 

I sometimes reply to others with sympathy and validation. But in her case I said what I said for a good reason which I thought was clear in my posts. I was a little shocked that she would put her kids at risk. Anyway - she got a nasty sting from me.

 

Go back and look:

She did indicate to us, at first, that she did NOT do a backgound check.

 

She said in her OP "He obviously forgot to tell me one thing while we were dating. That he was married. I should have known, but I got tired of investigating men and doing background checks all the time." That says, to me, that she let him slide - and didn't investigate.

 

But now she says she DID run a check -

- but didn't go back far enough.

 

That doesn't make sense either. He's married NOW!

She didn't have to go back at all! Get it? He is married NOW.

Marital status is one of the primary facts that come out of backgound checks. I do them frequently too.

 

BTW:

My background check says right in the header "an unmarried man"

- I love that part

 

No - I still don't buy that a paralegal couldn't find out if a BF is currently married.

 

I still think most women, with children, having her power to investigate, would MOST DEFINITELY find out of the guy was married.

If it was you - I'll bet YOU would have if you knew how!

 

ANYWAY - I will try to be much nicer in the future.

 

Law, I apologize for being so insensitive

 

Greg, if you go back and reread my post, you'll see that my primary objection was to the accusation that she got pregnant to weasel money out of him, not to the background check stuff. I just see no basis for such an accusation. Whether she entered an affair knowingly, whether she had the power to expose him, whether she stayed in it for however long, there is still no basis at all to assume she's a gold-digger, and that is what I was responding to.

 

The background check thing...I don't know if I would do it, even if I knew how. Perhaps I would, if I could be bothered. But in that first paragraph she said that she was tired of doing it, and you know, I can understand that. Perhaps it isn't "smart," but it hardly suggests equal culpability.

 

I can relate to it because immediately after my exH's affair, I became highly vigilant (although I didn't do such checks) about the people I was dating. But after a while I felt incredibly drained by my own suspicions and I just wanted to live my life. I missed trusting people and letting go of the need for control, and I suppose I think that's a valid attitude. So even if she didn't do a check, I think the bottom line is he's still the one who did all the actual bad stuff here. It just doesn't matter.

 

(And hey - apparently, men snoop as much as women, because you're saying you do it yourself! It's OK though. )

[Virgo1982]

Ummm .... no. I am a single mom who is currently dating and I don't feel the need to do background checks on the men I date. Most women don't. If a man tells me that he isn't married, I trust him unless he gives me reason to doubt it.

 

I do check to see if they are registered sex offenders, but that's it. When I first meet men I don't just assume they are all evil liars out to get me.

 

You can't fault her for trusting a man she date dfor 2 years. The fact he was able to keep it a secret for so long shows how manipulative he really was. I really feel for the OP.

 

At this point in my life, it only took one liar for me to know that if I had the ability to do background checks, I wouldn't hesitate. This world is full of sociopaths and I would rather secretly violate somebody's privacy, than to become a victim.

[GregsBad]

At this point in my life, it only took one liar for me to know that if I had the ability to do background checks, I wouldn't hesitate. This world is full of sociopaths and I would rather secretly violate somebody's privacy, than to become a victim.

 

Thanks for that Virgo.

 

Just FWIW - I'm guessing you mention violation of privacy as personal ethic of your own. I'm pretty sure it's not legally wrong.

 

We do it in my business for HR purposes and I have been assured by our general council that we don't need consent. We do have consent forms signed but that's more than to just cover us legally, it's also a nice way to help the applicant stay honest during the interviews.

 

I'll ask our general council on Monday about the legality of background checks for personal use.

[GregsBad]

So many girls on this forum have been torn apart by deceit.

 

I think they should natuarlly be more cautious the next time.

 

I can't quite understand the negative crap coming back from chicks on this forum over the idea of doing backgound checks before the hook up with the next Mr. Right.

 

This is a forum for the deceivers and the deceived

... who coincidentally have ethics that deter them from doing background checks. Heh Heh Heh! Some of you chicks are dumber than a sack of hammers

[GregsBad]

Greg,

...

(And hey - apparently, men snoop as much as women, because you're saying you do it yourself! It's OK though. )

 

I would - if I were seriously thinking about marriage.

 

Other than that - I don't mind when girls lie about loving me.

It's OK that they only want me for my body

 

I told a GF once that I resent that she doesn't appreciate me for my mind and that I want to be more to her than just a sex object.

 

She patted me on my ass and said,

"Honey, don't worry your pretty little head about it ... here's a nice sandwich ... go watch the ball game now."

 

I pouted for a few minutes ... but then I forgot about it.

The game was on and the sandwich was sooooo good!

She really good at sandwiches.

[GregsBad]

Greg, if you go back and reread my post, you'll see that my primary objection was to the accusation that she got pregnant to weasel money out of him, not to the background check stuff. I just see no basis for such an accusation. Whether she entered an affair knowingly, whether she had the power to expose him, whether she stayed in it for however long, there is still no basis at all to assume she's a gold-digger, and that is what I was responding to.

 

The background check thing...I don't know if I would do it, even if I knew how. Perhaps I would, if I could be bothered. But in that first paragraph she said that she was tired of doing it, and you know, I can understand that. Perhaps it isn't "smart," but it hardly suggests equal culpability.

 

 

OK serial ... back to being serious.

I'll try to explain why I raised my issues ... I still think my viewpoint is valid, just shold have been nicer about it.

 

I realize that point of view will shock people who aren't yet used to hearing so much about it. I knew I'd draw some fire for being an a*sshole. I was also shocked at first, about the viewpoint, when first learning about it. But it's a valid viewpoint, inspite of being shocking. So I did some research. It's easy to google. "Getting Pregnant" "Trap" and other similar key strings.

 

After getting familiar with it, I've had women tell me "not to be shocked because girls do it a lot." Women have told me to wake up and smell the coffee, on this one.

 

I didn't mean to imply that she did it just for money.

But has a way of becomming a key factor, and yes, women have been accused of doing a "meal ticket thing". Don't act so shocked youself - it happens ... and her history will draw this fire from other sources ... it's gonna happen ... and not just on this forum where she's anonymous and gets to test her story on a crowd who she doesn't have to face each day.

 

Maybe I read her story with an accent (a little jaded), but many of her peers will judge her even harder than I did.

She really really needs to improve her story if she hangs around lawyers.

 

Anyway - I meant to imply that there are women who get pregnant to "nudge" or "trick" him into marriage. Sometimes it's out right deceit. You'll be shocked to learn how many cases have been published.

 

So many cases were the girl did it to trap him.

Says "the condom" must have broke" "the pill didn't work"

But then HE say's no to marriage, then has to pay support.

(I agree that he SHOULD pay support - OK)

 

There's a LOT going in in this area.

Men insisting on paternity tests ... even married to the woman ... and an alarmingly high percentage of men learning that the baby is not his.

 

There's even one freaky case where one girl cheated on her BF with a guy in a rock band, got pregant, and tried to convince her BF that the baby was his. I won't bore you with the details. You'll find it if you're interested.

 

Girls getting pregnant - accidentaly on purpose - is much MORE common than you seem to realize. Frankly I think you probably DO know it.

 

And who said ANYTHING about EQUAL CULPABILTY? You - not me.

I complained that she's accepting ZERO CULPABILITY.

Others here think she's innocent and sweet and so deceived.

You say "perhaps it isn't smart".

 

But it's downright foolish - it's stupid.

She's grown, been through the mill, has children.

She was with him two years and never "sniffed" even a hint of weasel???

Please Serial ... you gotta admit that it's pretty dumb.

 

She's too far down the road to keep being fooled by a**holes.

He wasn't her first a**hole.

 

Also ...

She and he are both adults .... not giddy youngsters.

And TWO YEARS before having sex???

That's an interesting story. Why the need to tell us that?

It sounds made up. I think others wondered too ... maybe would have asked questions if I didn't.

 

Did she hold out from having sex all that time because she wanted to be sure? Two years! No sex! All that time with access to background check software ... Two years! No Sex!

 

Did she think HE was not getting any sex for two years?

Duh! I'm pretty sure he was getting it somewhere else.

Why would any woman WANT a man who COULD go without sex for two years

 

I wasn't just being a heckler ... there is some strangness ...

There are other little "freudian slips" in the writting.

 

And this is a forum where people draw some heat.

 

Many of you girls also fire back your replies that are also heavily biased with what you've learned about other situations. Sometimes you girls call nice guys a**holes. Then we get to call you the "B" word

 

But I'll still try to be nicer in the future.

[RecordProducer]

You're in a difficult emotional situation right now, because it's all fresh. I guess the point of the post was just to vent so I'll try to comfort you: the anger and the frustration will go away soooner than you think. Your daughter doesn't have to be unhappy. We project the fears (or dreams) of our own past onto our children, but it doesn't have to be that way.

 

I had a horrible step-father (he beat my mother and molested me) and when I was left by my ex-husband who made two babies (twins) with me and then dumped us, I felt even worse than you do now. But life went on, I healed, and even re-married. My new husband loves my sons to death.

 

We look at life as a series of things that we have to achieve or avoid, but it's really just a river of constant changes that happen to us and we live with. Being a single mother of three is not the saddest thing in the world. Actually many maried women would envy your freedom and financial independence. And your daughter will bring you a lot of happiness once you find peace of mind. By the time she grows up, a two-parents household will be a true rarity.

 

Forget about the scumbag. He is not worth your attention. I am just curious about some things: for how long did you date him and do you live in the same area? How come you never found out that he had a wife and six children? Didn't you go to his place, didn't he sleep over, didn't you go on a vacation together, show up in public together? How is it possible for a man to hide a whole family from his mistress? He must be a real mastermind to manage that. Does his wife know about this?

 

My mother and friends told me to not kill my baby.

Well now have them baby-sit the child!

 

I should have known, but I got tired of investigating men and doing background checks all the time.

Shouldda checked on this one!

I was born out of adultery, my fathers family never accepted me.

They say history repeats itself.

[LittleLady]

He's a scumbag dirtball.

And I agree that he has financial responsibility for the baby.

 

You're a paralegal with experience at getting background information.

And experience with child support issues.

He has a track record but you "got tired of getting background checks" so you let him slide.

 

You're a paralegal with knowledge of what it means to mitigate risk.

 

But you started an affair with a scumbag dirtball,

with no background check

with no birth control - or at least once.

you already have children (an important factor as well)

 

And absolutelty NO mention, in your writings here, of any responsibility of your own.

 

There are studies, be glad to point you to them, where there is a ground swell of cases of young men, hooking up with serial "pregger" women (already with one or more kids) who get themselves knocked up AGAIN and hook him into 18 years of support ... and come up with a sob story about why they had to keep the baby ... and rant about what a creep he is and brag how they "got him" with child support.

 

I'm not making this up. When I first started hearing about these stories I thought it was cruel to insinuate that any women would get herself pregnant to hook him into marriage or hook him financially. But the more I read the more I could see that it really happens.

 

It looks like you're in that mode. I'd like to believe I'm wrong.

 

I'm curious dear, are your other children from one father or more than one.

 

If you think I'm cruel by asking these things, you'll face these questions sooner or later from other sources. Especially if you keep pointing ALL the fingers at the scumbag you slept with. You were part of the cause of your problems too.

 

You really need to at least pretend that you're acknowledging some responsibilty for all of this, especially since you had MORE than the usual where-with-all to have prevented it.

 

Are you going to get knocked up again? Or have you finally learned a lesson?

 

 

Excuse me, but what leads you to assume she got pregnant on purpose which is pretty much what you are implying given IRRELEVANT "stories" about IRRELEVANT people. If you don't want this to happen to you little guy, use some protection and don't WHINE when a woman rightfully seeks child support for ALL your spawn.

Do you want me to get into all the deadbeat dads there are and all the loads of kids they have generated? Well I won't because it is invalid in this conversation about someone else's life that has no meaningful resemblance!

Please, no more "SOB" stories on why a man couldn't use protection and got his azz sucked out with child support payments.. aw, poor you and all the men of America. Sending a check is pretty simple compared to raising a child, but you don't know any better, right??

 

Defending a man who LIED about his relationship status and knowingly had sex with women on the side. Insteresting. He had it coming when he utilizes little protection and doesn't take much precaution or responsibility for actions.

Don't you look like a fool for being wrong on almost all counts of this woman's story. Serves you right.

Presumptuous arrogant little PRck.

Now, I think after you get court-ordered for child support umpteen times with women out of marriage, you should have learned YOUR lesson.

When you can get pregnant, then talk. I'm not going to listen to some bigoted biased misogynistic little prck defending an adulterer and then telling another woman who got used/lied to/knocked up from the guy to learn a lesson. Someone should chop your nuts off.

But it would be so much easier for you guys to go around lying to women and diking anything that comes along with no protection or a care in the world and then try to force your women to quickly "take care" of the situation because it would put a dent on your pocketbook or infringe on your "happy" marriage? Idiot. Think before you unzip your pants and there won't be these problems for YOU or all these MEN you hear whining and moaning about it! Men never grow the hell up!

[GregsBad]

Littlelady,

 

I think I struck a nerve and I figured why when I checked you posts.

 

I found one of your posts on "Are you better looking than MM's wife"

Where you spoke about tricking your MM by getting impregnated without him knowing it: You wrote:

"I'm trying to have a baby with him to secure my position in his life and pocketbook. He's been ejaculating inside me almost every sexual encounter. He thinks I'm on birth control. I will have the last laugh and that fat hog will be eradicated from his life."

 

This is incredible.

You're actually one of the females those articles focus on. You're lying to him, trying to trick him into getting you pregnant, so you can secure your position in his life and pocketbook - your words.

 

FWIW: I never stuck up for the man.

 

I just learned there really are women like you and wondered if Law was like that too. I hope not.

 

Anyway it's interesting that so many females express shock that I would imply that some women do this.

Then you popped up!