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Married man left his wife, now what?


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Old 6th October 2006, 2:12 AM   #1
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Married man left his wife, now what?

Hi everybody!! I need advice.

I was involved with a married man. We knew each other for about two years as acquaintances before getting intimate, which was two or three months ago.

After two months of being in the affair, we both knew our hearts had gotten involved. I broke it off because I knew the relationship was wrong, I didn't see a future with someone who was married, etc. I told him to find me if he was ever single, that perhaps I would be single too, and things would work out different.

He ended up leaving his wife (married five years with one son together) about a week after we broke up. Their marriage was in trouble long before I came into the picture. He told his wife he wasn't happy in the marriage and wanted out. He moved out of their house, came looking for me, and I took him back.

Now...I don't know what to do. On one hand, I know I love him and he loves me and that we both want to make our relationship work for the long term, but on the other hand, I feel though that he may need some time to sort his life out without me after five years of marriage. I feel being apart might be the right thing to do for our relationship and his relationship with his child's mother. What do you think?

If we do take a break, what kind of break do we take?...No sex? No contact? I think it will be too difficult to keep in contact without resuming an intimate relationship, but neither of us want to have a no contact situation like we had before. Please help!!
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Old 6th October 2006, 10:50 AM   #2
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Does he have his own place or did he just move in with you? If he moved in with you, make him move out into his own place. He has a child and that will start to wear on him. MM like this one go back and forth a lot and hurt everyone in the process.

He does need time to sort himself out. And he needs to do it alone. Do not be his emotional crutch, or that is all you will ever be. Eventually people no longer need crutches. No contact. No sex. No phone calls. No nothing. It sounds impossible, but it is doable. And it will be best for YOU. Don't worry about his issues. He needs to sort out and close this chapter of his life without the added distraction of another relationship.
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Old 6th October 2006, 3:18 PM   #3
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I moved back to my ex and lived in her house for 3 years will my OW waited and was an FWB. This destroyed us. I have moved out and am on my own and trying to get her to come back and realize that I love her but she cant get over the fact that I went back. Even though nothing happenend between my ex and I during that time and I was only intimate with the OW. This is always a very touchy situation.
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Old 6th October 2006, 3:23 PM   #4
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3 years you were back with your ex and NOTHING intimate happened between you two? Seriously?

I think your OW has a right to feel the way she does, hurt and felt lied to. Going back and forth between two women eventually BOTH get fed up and move on.

If you love your OW, make peace with what happened and go to counselling together - IF she will go with you. But, with that being said, you also have to cut ties with your ex forever if you have a chance with the OW.

Do you have children with your ex? If so, this just complicates your situation even more........
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Old 6th October 2006, 4:44 PM   #5
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3 years you were back with your ex and NOTHING intimate happened between you two? Seriously?

She knows that nothing did because my ex and I split over intimacy issues on my part. I didn't want it...



If you love your OW, make peace with what happened and go to counselling together - IF she will go with you. But, with that being said, you also have to cut ties with your ex forever if you have a chance with the OW.

She wont even talk to me right now and still holds the engagement ring I gave her early in the summer and I think she has found a rebound guy. I have basically severed all ties with the ex. No children....
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