m.snow Posted June 26, 2015 Share Posted June 26, 2015 situation of friend/neighbor married for 13 yrs BH:37 WW:34 DS:10yo happy suburban family double income household. great smart kid. no marital woes. goes to church every sunday. wife goes abroad to Africa part of work for 4.5 mos, WW just got home told BH she was pregnant. but that's not the worst part she is now HIV positive.WW suicidal. BH "depressed" an understatement. WW had already taken abortion pills. but the pregnancy persist. probably a mos or 2 in pregnancy. dont know what to do. only suggestion i got is NC with AP? Link to post Share on other sites
fellini Posted June 26, 2015 Share Posted June 26, 2015 Send pregnant WW back to AP in Africa. Remain at home with son. Go back to church on Sunday. situation of friend/neighbor married for 13 yrs BH:37 WW:34 DS:10yo happy suburban family double income household. great smart kid. no marital woes. goes to church every sunday. wife goes abroad to Africa part of work for 4.5 mos, WW just got home told BH she was pregnant. but that's not the worst part she is now HIV positive.WW suicidal. BH "depressed" an understatement. WW had already taken abortion pills. but the pregnancy persist. probably a mos or 2 in pregnancy. dont know what to do. only suggestion i got is NC with AP? 9 Link to post Share on other sites
Author m.snow Posted June 26, 2015 Author Share Posted June 26, 2015 of course not stupid. provided suicide hotline number and asked to have relatives to come to keep an eye. there going to clinic. asked why she took the abortion pills, she worried about the child being bi-racial. coz they're both white. does that mean she had sex with a black guy? totally irrelevant to worry about what the baby would look like. should be worried more about that hiv. dunno if she's already taking those antibiotics, but hiv dont have a cure right:? i dunno which country it was but they're were no abortions clinics there. drugs weren't working so it gonna have to be surgical. as a catholic suggested with just keeping the baby. they're also catholic. which i dunno wanted to say they can still have sex just wear a condom. Link to post Share on other sites
harrybrown Posted June 26, 2015 Share Posted June 26, 2015 Is she remorseful? Did she write a timeline of her A? Does she love the OM? Link to post Share on other sites
happyman64 Posted June 26, 2015 Share Posted June 26, 2015 sadly m snow the health of the mother & child comes first. The abortion drugs could have done severe damage to the unborn baby. After the bay is born and the mother is table I truly think the BS has some serious decisions to make with respect to his wayward wife, his child and his marriage. I am Catholic and would have a very hard time staying with her. Not only because she cheated and got pregnant but because of all the health risks she took...... HM 1 Link to post Share on other sites
purplesorrow Posted June 26, 2015 Share Posted June 26, 2015 Is this really your friend? I saw this story posted by a ww on another site. 2 Link to post Share on other sites
katielee Posted June 26, 2015 Share Posted June 26, 2015 Isn't the BH also a WS with an OC? 1 Link to post Share on other sites
No Limit Posted June 26, 2015 Share Posted June 26, 2015 Tell BH to get an attorney so that maybe at least he can offer his child stability, 'cause the mother is losing her marbles it seems. It's very likely the guy she slept with was black since she's HIV positive, and I can't imagine the humiliation for a BS when the nurse brings him a baby that is quite obviously not his, by a mother who could care less about it since she's tried taking the pills afterwards (which might have damaged the child). Let WWs family deal with her. She won't have an income for long, there's a lot of prejudice against HIV positive people. And there is no cure, and she will spend a lot of time in hospitals to figure out which medicine works for her and which doesn't. Link to post Share on other sites
purplesorrow Posted June 26, 2015 Share Posted June 26, 2015 Tell BH to get an attorney so that maybe at least he can offer his child stability, 'cause the mother is losing her marbles it seems. It's very likely the guy she slept with was black since she's HIV positive, and I can't imagine the humiliation for a BS when the nurse brings him a baby that is quite obviously not his, by a mother who could care less about it since she's tried taking the pills afterwards (which might have damaged the child). Let WWs family deal with her. She won't have an income for long, there's a lot of prejudice against HIV positive people. And there is no cure, and she will spend a lot of time in hospitals to figure out which medicine works for her and which doesn't. How did you come to that conclusion? 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Clay Posted June 26, 2015 Share Posted June 26, 2015 To me it wouldn't matter who she slept with. Its the point she not only slept with someone else but she got pregnant as a result of this and contracted a life threatening disease. She knew the chance she was taking when she decided to go out of the marriage. I really dont feel sorry for her at all. If I was the Husband I would take the other kids and walk away. I would give her visitation rights but there would be no way she would be fit to raise the kids. She already proved what kind of a mother she is by putting herself at risk and her family at risk. I am sorry to say this but he needs to use his head right now and protect his children. I would get them away from her as soon as possible. Who is to say the OM wont come looking for his child. Who knows what else could happen. Once the children are taking care of then the Husband can focus on himself and get into counseling. Clay 3 Link to post Share on other sites
katielee Posted June 26, 2015 Share Posted June 26, 2015 How did you come to that conclusion? the WW saw the test results of OM's testing. Link to post Share on other sites
MJJean Posted June 26, 2015 Share Posted June 26, 2015 How did you come to that conclusion? Because Africa is overwhelmingly populated by black people and most countries on the continent are in the midst of HIV/AIDS pandemics. The odds of the AP being black are pretty good taking that into account. Also, up thread, OP mentions the wife wanted the abortion because she was worried about the baby being bi-racial with her and her husband both being white. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
purplesorrow Posted June 26, 2015 Share Posted June 26, 2015 Because Africa is overwhelmingly populated by black people and most countries on the continent are in the midst of HIV/AIDS pandemics. The odds of the AP being black are pretty good taking that into account. Also, up thread, OP mentions the wife wanted the abortion because she was worried about the baby being bi-racial with her and her husband both being white. All conclusion. Just as she was traveling so could her ap have been. In addition the story by the actual ww does not mention Africa and says she was exposed to hiv and is still being tested. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Buckeye2 Posted June 26, 2015 Share Posted June 26, 2015 1. Goes to church every sunday. 2. Wife goes abroad to Africa part of work for 4.5 mos 3. They're also catholic. Does the wife work for a catholic charity or catholic relief services? Did she go as part of their church? Link to post Share on other sites
CarrieT Posted June 26, 2015 Share Posted June 26, 2015 I just have to say that I HATE abbreviations and wish I could read this story without trying to figure out what is being said between short-hand emoticons and initials... 2 Link to post Share on other sites
merrmeade Posted June 26, 2015 Share Posted June 26, 2015 If she already took the abortion pill, is only 2 mos along, why can't she go ahead and get an abortion now? From what I understand, Catholics vary a lot with what they're personally okay with even if the churck's official stance is different. If she already tried to do it by ingesting a pill, how is going to a clinic any different? It's hypocritical to make it about abortion if she did that already. And, btw, just as you can't assume all the other things that are being assumed, you also can't assume you know how she viewed this aspect, e.g., saying that she didn't want it. You don't know that and it's irrelevant in the context of thread starter's original post, which is asking, "What the hell do they do now??" So to ge stability and have a future they can work with, considering the one suicidal character (BH), the other generally destabilized (WW), and the third (DS) soon to be very fked up, why doesn't she just get it over with? Link to post Share on other sites
No Limit Posted June 27, 2015 Share Posted June 27, 2015 How did you come to that conclusion? The majority of Africa's population is black, and HIV is widely spread there. Link to post Share on other sites
MJJean Posted June 27, 2015 Share Posted June 27, 2015 How did you come to that conclusion? see below situation of friend/neighbor married for 13 yrs BH:37 WW:34 DS:10yo happy suburban family double income household. great smart kid. no marital woes. goes to church every sunday. wife goes abroad to Africa part of work for 4.5 mos, WW just got home told BH she was pregnant. but that's not the worst part she is now HIV positive. WW suicidal. BH "depressed" an understatement. WW had already taken abortion pills. but the pregnancy persist. probably a mos or 2 in pregnancy. dont know what to do. only suggestion i got is NC with AP? of course not stupid. provided suicide hotline number and asked to have relatives to come to keep an eye. there going to clinic. asked why she took the abortion pills, she worried about the child being bi-racial. coz they're both white. does that mean she had sex with a black guy? totally irrelevant to worry about what the baby would look like. should be worried more about that hiv. dunno if she's already taking those antibiotics, but hiv dont have a cure right:? i dunno which country it was but they're were no abortions clinics there. drugs weren't working so it gonna have to be surgical. as a catholic suggested with just keeping the baby. they're also catholic. which i dunno wanted to say they can still have sex just wear a condom. The OP of this thread clearly states the pregnant WW went to Africa, got pregnant, got/may have gotten HIV, and wanted to abort because she was worried about the child being bi-racial when she and her husband are both white. Add in Africa being primarily populated by black people and the HIV/AIDS pandemic among said population, I think it's reasonable to conclude the WW had sex with a black man. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
purplesorrow Posted June 27, 2015 Share Posted June 27, 2015 This story is from another site. The poster did not mention Africa. And again who said she wasn't with another traveler? Link to post Share on other sites
fellini Posted June 27, 2015 Share Posted June 27, 2015 This story is from another site. The poster did not mention Africa. And again who said she wasn't with another traveler? Or just maybe the OP is giving details not given in another site. This story is what it is. We are not here to discuss this story based on another thread somewhere else. True enough it's possible the WW met an Asian traveller in an African country and had unprotected sex with him and he contracted HIV from someone else in another trip. Does it matter? HIV non Caucasian fetus. This is what we know. Link to post Share on other sites
bubbaganoosh Posted June 27, 2015 Share Posted June 27, 2015 OK fine she get an abortion so there's no child but just because she get that, she's still has a much bigger problem. She's still HIV positive not to mention that she cheated on her husband. If it's me the abortion pill isn't working, then let her have the kid and you end the marriage and move on. It's not bad enough that she had the affair but didn't have the common sense to use protection. I just hope you have enough common sense not to have sex with her with or without a condom. Link to post Share on other sites
Try Posted June 28, 2015 Share Posted June 28, 2015 wife goes abroad to Africa part of work for 4.5 mos, WW just got home told BH she was pregnant. but that's not the worst part she is now HIV positive. He should file for divorce now, and worry about if he wants to work it out later. There are two main reasons for this. One, because he was their 10 year old child's primary care giver when the wife was out of the country for all of those months, right now he can file as the primary care giver giving him an edge when the court decides on custody. Two, if he files now and states that the unborn child is not his, he can avoid paying years of child support for another man's child should the husband decide on divorce. These are both time sensitive, where the longer he waits, the weaker his legal position. Link to post Share on other sites
Author m.snow Posted July 2, 2015 Author Share Posted July 2, 2015 Wife's affair was blown, she is depressed and suicidal, before you even suggested leaving her. Is the Wife manipulative? Link to post Share on other sites
SammySammy Posted July 2, 2015 Share Posted July 2, 2015 You know her better than we do. Do you feel she's manipulative? Why or why not? Link to post Share on other sites
katielee Posted July 2, 2015 Share Posted July 2, 2015 what other reasons besides her affair might make her depressed and suicidal? Link to post Share on other sites
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