badkarma2013 Posted March 17, 2015 Share Posted March 17, 2015 I really don't know how to start this post except to say I have learned much from many that are here... When I started posting here , short time after D-DAY right before D...I was quite angry and venomous especially toward WWs...and asked no quarter and gave None...But as the days turned into months and months into a year...I started to see that WW/WH or BH/BW..what happened to us or whatever choices we made..we are ALL damaged by the horrendous effects of Infidelity... I remember the Soul Crushing pain when I found her phone..and then the horror replayed itself with the OM showing me pictures of them having sex....I remember my swift calculated actions made to destroy the OM and his family...filing of the lawsuit and they both lost their jobs...and her family being destroyed by the demanding to see the pics of their daughter...My WW looked at me at the finished product of my actions..and I will quote her "There is Nothing left but Ashes." and she was correct.... I also remember fellini showing my another way of viewing the world and there are other views that work for some and his uncanny ability to take a post that had turned into trench warfare and make it into a peace table.. i Thank You for that........Mrs. Adams's Remorse and her true repentance to Mr. Adams and his 30 year vigil to keep their marriage together after her Affair ,also her Kindness to me that at the time was so un deserved.. Mal78,autumnnight,Selfish,driftingon,drifter777..VeryBrokenMan.Trustedthenbusted...road and many more thank you for your post and your positions on Infidelity...I value them all.. I think it is time for me to take a break ...sometimes here my anger returns and the Old Badkarma returns ..and that is good for none of us.. I wish ALL of you a return to a some what normal life and may you All find the Peace that we all are searching for ...But few of us ever find... Badkarma 19 Link to post Share on other sites
Clay Posted March 17, 2015 Share Posted March 17, 2015 Take care . Life does get better it just takes one day at a time. Clay 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Mal78 Posted March 17, 2015 Share Posted March 17, 2015 We need all the dynamics in this extremely difficult and emotion subject even if it's harsh doses of reality combined with a simple kind words. I wish you well. Please come back even if it's sooner than you hope/expected. I don't know what I would do without my LS, however I just might not be "there" yet. Best of Luck. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Mrs. John Adams Posted March 17, 2015 Share Posted March 17, 2015 You will forever have a place in my heart....It has been enlightening to watch you evolve into the man you have become from the man you were two years ago when i first met you. I am so glad to have made this progression with you. I will miss your comments and your wisdom and i will pray for you that you continue to heal. Thank you for the kindness and respect you have shown to me....and for knowing that my heart told the truth...you will never know how much that means to me. Your cyber friend, Mrs. JA 3 Link to post Share on other sites
LifesontheUp Posted March 17, 2015 Share Posted March 17, 2015 Wish you continued healing. Hopefully in time you will do as I do and other posters do and pop back and give advice. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Author badkarma2013 Posted March 17, 2015 Author Share Posted March 17, 2015 You will forever have a place in my heart....It has been enlightening to watch you evolve into the man you have become from the man you were two years ago when i first met you. I am so glad to have made this progression with you. I will miss your comments and your wisdom and i will pray for you that you continue to heal. Thank you for the kindness and respect you have shown to me....and for knowing that my heart told the truth...you will never know how much that means to me. Your cyber friend, Mrs. JA (dum spiro, spero)...You will never know what you have meant to me...Thank You Badkarma 1 Link to post Share on other sites
TrustedthenBusted Posted March 17, 2015 Share Posted March 17, 2015 Peace Out, brutha. It's good to check out, and get on with the other 99.4% of your life that has nothing to do with infidelity. I'll look forward to logging on here someday and reading the update of a happy, well rested, clearer perspective having badkarma. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Author badkarma2013 Posted March 17, 2015 Author Share Posted March 17, 2015 Peace Out, brutha. It's good to check out, and get on with the other 99.4% of your life that has nothing to do with infidelity. I'll look forward to logging on here someday and reading the update of a happy, well rested, clearer perspective having badkarma. My Man!... 1 Link to post Share on other sites
lolablue17 Posted March 17, 2015 Share Posted March 17, 2015 I just want to make a comment about your wife's powerful phrase: "There's nothing left but ashes"... I don't claim that there is only one way. There are many ways to cope infidelity. the calm, forgiving, logical and wise ways are welcome. But we are only humans and sometimes we just need to be able to breath, to have back some justice/control/sanity. And when someone Has his D-day, there is nothing left but ashes for him. Your wife would prefer that you'll the only one who left with the ashes, while she's having it all. But when she, herself lost it all too, only then it actually came to her mind that her cheating left only ashes, and still she put the responsibility for the "ashes" on you, on your reaction, instead of her actions. It is a very sad lesson that i learn every time - People can understand how much they hurt others, only when they experience the pain themselves. there are people that can feel compassion only when they're low! So the instinct and urge of any BH to harm OM and to cause pain to his wife are not only pure revenge! Its a survival instinct, knowing maybe that's the only way to get some compassion and understanding. 4 Link to post Share on other sites
fellini Posted March 17, 2015 Share Posted March 17, 2015 Bad karma. It goes both ways. Thanks for helping me see through issues I was not privy to in my situation. you won me over as well. I'll watch for you on the seas, racing across the open fields on horseback, and probably envy your freedom a little each time. Hope the break does you fine. I'm going to have to do the same myself. 3 Link to post Share on other sites
No Limit Posted March 17, 2015 Share Posted March 17, 2015 Don't feel bad for showing your ex-in-laws the pictures. They would have ruined your name and made you the WW if you hadn't; who knows, maybe your WW lied to them about you cheating. It doesn't matter anymore, the cat's out of the sack and a 2 relationships were destroyed. OM will think twice about an affair should he get a new job at some point. 2 Link to post Share on other sites
Author badkarma2013 Posted March 17, 2015 Author Share Posted March 17, 2015 Bad karma. It goes both ways. Thanks for helping me see through issues I was not privy to in my situation. you won me over as well. I'll watch for you on the seas, racing across the open fields on horseback, and probably envy your freedom a little each time. Hope the break does you fine. I'm going to have to do the same myself. As-salamu alaykum My good friend...Badkarma 1 Link to post Share on other sites
JohnAdams Posted March 18, 2015 Share Posted March 18, 2015 Best of luck to you Badkarma. I hope you find peace and happiness. You have had a dose of hell that you do not deserve. I am glad that Mrs. JA and I had the pleasure of knowing and corresponding with you. I hope to hear an update from you i n the future that you have reached a good place in your life. Sincerely the best of luck! 1 Link to post Share on other sites
autumnnight Posted March 18, 2015 Share Posted March 18, 2015 I have the utmost respect for you badkarma. You are real, firm, but compassionate. That's a rare combo. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
gettingstronger Posted March 18, 2015 Share Posted March 18, 2015 Here is what I learned from you- no matter what path we decide- reconciliation or divorce, there is pain and healing- once touched by infidelity you are forever changed and it hurts-you and I chose different paths, but the pain of betrayal is the same- I wish you good luck, peace and healing- Keep on keeping on- 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Confused48 Posted March 18, 2015 Share Posted March 18, 2015 You viewpoint will be greatly missed. However, I do understand your need to go and wish you well. I think it is a good sign for you personally. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Lion Heart Posted March 18, 2015 Share Posted March 18, 2015 Badkarma THANKYOU!!!!!! X infinity. I looked for your posts in threads immediately after my D Day because you spoke my truth. Your feelings after D Day and ensuing events are EXACTLY how alot of us feel. If we all just read the softly softly reactions of some, where is the rage recognized? Though as my time went on (now 12w 4d) and I bit by bit pieced that marginally more time had passed for you, I felt more concern for your healing than mine. We DO heal...alot. We may never fully recover but we only have right now. I have missed your input on posts recently, not because I wanted to see your rage anymore but because I wanted to see your healing. Heal. You are strong in the world. You are a valuable member of LS. Do whatever it takes to get better and put this shocking experience in your PAST where it belongs. Best wishes Lion Heart. 3 Link to post Share on other sites
Author badkarma2013 Posted March 19, 2015 Author Share Posted March 19, 2015 Before I go dark for awhile...I wanted to take a moment to really say "Thank You" for the the kind words shared and thank those who have responded.. You here are all my friends ...we share a common bond..whether we wish to or not...WS or BS...In the places I have served in the world..I did not like everyone I served with..but they were my friends and my brothers ...as you all are.. True friends can see the hurt in your eyes when everyone else is fooled by your smile. Goodbye...for while.... Badkarma 2 Link to post Share on other sites
dichotomy Posted March 19, 2015 Share Posted March 19, 2015 Enjoy your break, I understand what this site can trigger in a BS by staying around. Come back if and when your ready. Wish you the best. Link to post Share on other sites
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