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did you XWS age alot during and after affair???


snappytomcat

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ok so last night my friend was having a party,at a bar we like to go to.

and her dad who ive never met cause he lives in different state,flew in for a visit.

she introduced me to him and we talked for a bit,and my husband came over to hand me a drink,and he left to finish his game of pool,but my friends dad asked me,if my husband was my dad,now hes only 6 years older than me,but I have noticed how much he has aged in the last few years,he looks 15-20 years older than me.

I think the stress during and after the affair caused a lot of it

just wondering if anyone else has noticed this in their ws

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I think sin ages people, especially women. Go to a high school reunion, and no matter how much tanning spray or makeup they put on, the girls who have lived rough look older - from skin to hair to a general aura.

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I think that concept is interesting. If sin aged people correspondingly, I know a few people that would pretty much be dead.

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My ex wife - fWW, has aged well from what I can see on the net. Then again she has no concept of sin, regret or guilt, and lives the life she wishes and was right for her. If I sound bitter, I am not really, just being factual.

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Not sure if it's aging or just stress but only 2 years of bullying did leave its mark on me. Passed an old acquaintance of my mom on the street a few months ago and judging from the look she gave me she barely recognized me (I'm afraid my time being greatly underweight will never fully leave its tracks on my face, seeing how she commented how much thinner my face was - although I guess my cheek bones are still more visible than before the bullying stress occurred). A girl from my old class also commented once how much younger I looked after summer holidays.

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Absolutely. More gray, more wrinkles. Before her A and our D, I looked 10 years younger than my actual age.

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MuddyFootprints

Physically, time marches on. I don't use cosmetics or hair colour, so perhaps my age is beginning to show. I am going to start using sunscreen this year though!

 

Emotionally, psychologically, and intellectually, I've gained a certain wisdom that has definitely aged me beyond my years.

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thanks to all who have replied

and no limit,im truly sorry about you being bullied

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snappytomcat,

I have seen pictures of exH and OW on FB (they are now married) and although he is 10 years older than her they look the same age.

 

I don't think she helps herself, as she has bleached blonde hair now. His teeth are bad, which is a shame as he used to have good teeth.

 

Whether it was the cheating that did it or the stress of having two kids who are bummers, I couldn't say...

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My friends from work all saw my WH approach us about 5 weeks after D Day. No one recognized him. One lady said,

I only saw (WH) a year ago and he's aged 10 years since then! "

Alot of people have commented in the past year that I look in my late 30s, I'm 49. If WH has added 10 years then he looks 54.

I'm cool with that!

 

I believe that a person will "age" faster if they're not living in line with their own values. Whatever they may be!

My WH did have a PA and he stopped it before it went the whole way (NO I'm not excusing nor congratulating him!) Tho the last month when he ended it & didn't visit AP (she kept turning up to his workplace & phoning constantly) was an extremely stressful time. She wouldn't take no at any cost & threatened to tell me if he didn't. So the whole thing plus "R" time has been about 4 months for him. He now has more wrinkles on his face, more grey hair and has even balded more! IMO it's because all this issue he created went against his grain morally. Plus now SO MANY people are in his face telling him what to do. He's attending IC plus MC for the first time in his life & the whole experience is very deeply confronting for the first time in his life.

 

On the other hand I chose a profession that I absolutely love very early in life (16), am honest with kindness alot in my work and personal life and I try daily (don't always succeed!) To become a better person and live as authentically as I can. Counsellors bombarded me thru school because of my bruises accompanying my home life. As an adult I've chosen IC in difficult times. I have 4 friends who are psychologists! Plus I've completed so many self help books & joined up here. So I'm set I reckon, ha ha.

 

Be true to yourself first, let's face it you are the only person who has to put up with yourself forever.

 

Lion Heart.

Edited by Lion Heart
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and no limit,im truly sorry about you being bullied

 

No need. If I had "joined" those people instead of being bullied I might very well would have become one of those incoherent-selfish b!tches.

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Physically, time marches on. I don't use cosmetics or hair colour, so perhaps my age is beginning to show. I am going to start using sunscreen this year though!

 

Emotionally, psychologically, and intellectually, I've gained a certain wisdom that has definitely aged me beyond my years.

 

 

This cannot be overstated.

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I feel like I have aged five years in the last couple... but i think it is because I moved to a different climate with horrible winters. Unless bliss makes you age, in which case I would look ninety.

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HelenaHandbasket

He has aged years in two years. First is was weight loss. He was always in shape, but became bones. Then I began to see it in his face. He would always have to crunch his forehead to really see as his eyelids were drastically starting to cover his eyes. Then his eyes that were once lively became dead.

 

My serial cheating husband I'm now in the process of divorcing, became a changed and broken person when he started cheating. He was the worst kind, the kind that is egotistical (these types never change!) so while I would ask him if everything is ok, how run down he looked, he would make comments how everyone he meets thinks he's 25! Yet he's 43.

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