katielee Posted October 7, 2013 Share Posted October 7, 2013 we have to come up with three things we like about each other, three things we dislike, three things we'd like to change, what a successful marriage looks like... I came up with 6 things - and could have done more - that I like about him. and the other stuff too. it's just that, I was talking to someone who said she was taking back her life and not letting something like triggers or seeing the OW bother her. She was going to face it and move forward. This floors me. What I do when I see the OW: become furious at my husband for putting me in a position where I have to be the bigger person. I have had to walk by her in at the pool, she was in a bikini, and hold my head high. All the while I'm thinking, you got me hubby, you got me good. I'm not a bigger person. I'm an angry person. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
AlwaysGrowing Posted October 7, 2013 Share Posted October 7, 2013 There are people in my past that are dead to me. The pain they inflicted too great, to ever want them in my life in any way,shape or form. Not in my thoughts, my future, an apology, nothing. They took things from me that were invaluable. I spent years recovering from their actions...decades..actually. I do not look at those decades as lost, as I was a child/young adult for most of them and did the best I could. As an adult, I found the strength to let go of the ties that tethered me to them. I severed them. Its what I had to do for me. I will never allow them any arena in my life. I put myself first. Link to post Share on other sites
Author katielee Posted October 7, 2013 Author Share Posted October 7, 2013 The pain they inflicted too great, to ever want them in my life in any way,shape or form. I will never allow them any arena in my life. I put myself first. in my case, this would mean moving away... Link to post Share on other sites
ladydesigner Posted October 7, 2013 Share Posted October 7, 2013 What I do when I see the OW: become furious at my husband for putting me in a position where I have to be the bigger person. I have had to walk by her in at the pool, she was in a bikini, and hold my head high. All the while I'm thinking, you got me hubby, you got me good. I'm not a bigger person. I'm an angry person. See this is how I feel when MOW contacts me unexpectedly. Why have I been put in this position and who put me here... Ugh I feel ya katie! I sometimes feel like I am the angry person now. Link to post Share on other sites
dichotomy Posted October 7, 2013 Share Posted October 7, 2013 My marriage would have survived if OM or related persons lived anywhere near us. We have not traveled to her old home town in years because OM and related folks reside there. You got a right to be angry, but I got to say you are one strong woman to walk past OW at the pool with head held high. I would of grabed one of those large shade umbrellas and shoved it..... (Deleted for mature depictions of violence) Link to post Share on other sites
AlwaysGrowing Posted October 7, 2013 Share Posted October 7, 2013 What is wrong with moving? Link to post Share on other sites
Author katielee Posted October 7, 2013 Author Share Posted October 7, 2013 Nothing wrong with moving, he doesn't think it'll solve our problems. I'm not sure if I want to leave my job/friendS. If it becomes too much for me I will move. It's one thing to have to endure two betrayals but this other crap, not sure I can do it... Link to post Share on other sites
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