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I found out my boyfriend has slept with a prostitute.


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Old 7th February 2010, 2:18 PM   #1
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I found out my boyfriend has slept with a prostitute.

Hi,

I just found out that my boyfriend has slept, at least once, with a VIP prostitute. I've noticed he's been lying to me lately and today, he told me I could use his mobile phone for work. I found there are several sms from a prostitute, with fees and everything. The last sms says: "I'm here". I feel awful about having read them, but the truth is I found out. I haven't said anything to him yet, I've violated our trust by reading his sms... but he's slept with a hooker!!!!! I've googled her and it's awful I can see what she looks like and I'm 100% sure it was not the first time they were in contact, although I'm also quite sure it was the first time they have actually done it. I don't know what to do.... If and how I should confront him. We've been together for a year, which I know is not much, so I shouldn't bother and dump him but on the other hand I really thought this was THE guy, we were talking about marriage and all of it. I really don't know what to do, I want to leave this place and go somewhere else or jump out of the window or something. I don't know what to do. This was the first time I was able to open up and have a serious relationship and he goes out and sleeps with hookers having me around waiting. Oh and the worst thing is I'm quite sure they came home. To OUR house and "it" happened in OUR bed and I'm also sure he didn't even change the sheets. I'm crying my eyes out, I don't know what to do. What do you recommend? Please! Thank you!
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Old 7th February 2010, 2:35 PM   #2
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He slept with a prostitute in your own bed?

Is there really a question of what you should do? This is not the kind of man you should marry. This is the kind of man you should leave because he has zero respect for you, and his actions are not loving. He's got issues.

There are better men out there. Find one.
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Old 8th February 2010, 2:37 PM   #3
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Prostitute or OW. If you both have committed to eachother, then there is an agreement. 1 year or 20, 40, 50 years does not matter, it is the faithful committment to eachother that matters, the love and respect for eachother.

Better get yourself checked out for std's.

Understand that not every man is like this.
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Old 8th February 2010, 2:46 PM   #4
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Dump him now. Kick him out or move out. He is scum and has no respect for you and your relationship.

Sorry you're hurting.
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Old 8th February 2010, 2:47 PM   #5
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RUN RUN RUN!!! and stop at the nearest clinic! you deserve better!
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“Be who you are and say what you feel because those who mind don't matter and those who matter don't mind.” -Dr. Suess
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Old 8th February 2010, 2:49 PM   #6
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Quote:
Originally Posted by shalott View Post
Hi,

I just found out that my boyfriend has slept, at least once, with a VIP prostitute. I've noticed he's been lying to me lately and today, he told me I could use his mobile phone for work. I found there are several sms from a prostitute, with fees and everything. The last sms says: "I'm here". I feel awful about having read them, but the truth is I found out. I haven't said anything to him yet, I've violated our trust by reading his sms... but he's slept with a hooker!!!!! I've googled her and it's awful I can see what she looks like and I'm 100% sure it was not the first time they were in contact, although I'm also quite sure it was the first time they have actually done it. I don't know what to do.... If and how I should confront him. We've been together for a year, which I know is not much, so I shouldn't bother and dump him but on the other hand I really thought this was THE guy, we were talking about marriage and all of it. I really don't know what to do, I want to leave this place and go somewhere else or jump out of the window or something. I don't know what to do. This was the first time I was able to open up and have a serious relationship and he goes out and sleeps with hookers having me around waiting. Oh and the worst thing is I'm quite sure they came home. To OUR house and "it" happened in OUR bed and I'm also sure he didn't even change the sheets. I'm crying my eyes out, I don't know what to do. What do you recommend? Please! Thank you!

You're kidding right????? Then let me tell you what to do. Get all your things and move out today. Right now, go, hurry up!
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Old 8th February 2010, 2:55 PM   #7
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haha is this for real?

If yes, then I am very sorry about your situation.

Dump this loser, a heartless man for sure.
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Old 8th February 2010, 6:18 PM   #8
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What is a VIP Prostitute?
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Old 8th February 2010, 7:19 PM   #9
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Yes, this is for real, at least it makes somebody laugh.

Thank you for your replies. I've moved out (it was his house). He hasn't admitted to it but I know it's true. I've taken the tests for stds, I'm waiting for the results.

When I wrote the first time I was devastated. I still am, but yesterday I was totally out of my mind. I wrote "VIP prostitute" because that's what they call them here. They're the expensive ones. But a prostitute none the less.

Now I'm not answering his phone calls, I don't think I ever will.
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Old 8th February 2010, 7:24 PM   #10
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I'm sorry to have to agree with everyone else; if you've only been together for a year and he's already cheating with hookers, you need to get out now because it will only get worse. I know it's hard when your heart is involved but do try to count yourself lucky that you found out what he was really like before children and legal ties were involved.

You obviously live together. Do you own or rent? Whose name is on the mortgage/lease? You need to start thinking about practicalities now, do you kick him out or do you pack up and walk? Can you afford to pay the entire mortgage/monthly rent where you are now? Can you afford first and last months rent somewhere else? Start making a plan and getting your sh*t together, it helps to have a solid plan of action, it's very motivating and centering. And as others have said, go get a thorough STD screening just to be safe and healthy and take care of you.
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Old 8th February 2010, 7:30 PM   #11
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Thanks, Stung. It was his house I was in, but I still have a small apartment of my own where I'm staying now. We were working together, or rather, I was working for him in his company. So now I'm also looking for a job, I guess I'm giving my life a 180 degree change.
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Old 8th February 2010, 7:32 PM   #12
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OH, what's the big deal.. Stay with him. It's just a hooker!! Give the guy a break!! He is probably stressed out and just needed a release... I say, move right back in and tell him you are NOT happy with this, but you will try to understand. Then, cook him a nice dinner and draw him a bubble bath... Now, I wouldnt sleep with him tonight (not til you get your tests back), but hold him close and sing him a little sweet lullaby as he falls into a peaceful sleep with your head on his shoulder...

Thats what you should do...

**no wait! you shouldnt do those things.. you should do what you are doing!! Your question of "what" you should do struck me... Take care of YOU!!

Last edited by stampdaddy; 8th February 2010 at 7:43 PM..
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Old 10th February 2010, 2:01 AM   #13
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You don't know what to do? Come on, it's obvious - you dump him, run a mile, never speak to him again, and get a quick test at the nearest STD clinic. Or you can stay with a guy who screws hookers.

Damn, tough choice there!
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Old 10th February 2010, 4:01 PM   #14
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I would leave him. A few months down the road I might be tempted to have some STD info mailed to him, lots of it, but definitely leave him. I wouldn't even answer one call or message from him.
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Old 10th February 2010, 8:53 PM   #15
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Quote:
Originally Posted by shalott View Post
... but he's slept with a hooker!!!!!
Surprised? A lot of men do, some earlier, some later.
As other posters suggested, leave him.
But there's no guarantee the next one will not. Or have an affair behind your back.
Your post suggests you are very young and naive about the ways of the world. You want a relationship? That risk will always be there.
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