LoveShack.org Community Forums

Reload this Page LoveShack.org Community Forums > Romantic > Marriage & Life Partnerships > Infidelity

My husband got another woman pregnant


Infidelity In an affair or suspect your significant other? Share your experiences and concerns here.

Old 10th June 2009, 11:59 PM   #1
New Member
 
Join Date: Jun 2009
Posts: 3
My husband got another woman pregnant

Hi everyone I need some help. My husband which I have been with for over 9 years had an affair and now she is pregnant. We have had a marriage like anyone elses ups and down all along the way. He really is a good man and is totally devastated as I am by what has happened. We live in a small town where everyone knows your business and I mean everyone knows it. We have decided to make it through this hard time and hopefully come out of it stronger than we have ever been. However I do not think that your families will approve of us working it out? So this is what I need help with. I love him and know he has learned his lesson by \this, but I dont want to lose my family either? Please help me./
mommaofone is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 11th June 2009, 12:09 AM   #2
Member
 
Join Date: Aug 2007
Location: In God's grace
Posts: 9,705
Quote:
Originally Posted by mommaofone View Post
Hi everyone I need some help. My husband which I have been with for over 9 years had an affair and now she is pregnant. We have had a marriage like anyone elses ups and down all along the way. He really is a good man and is totally devastated as I am by what has happened. We live in a small town where everyone knows your business and I mean everyone knows it. We have decided to make it through this hard time and hopefully come out of it stronger than we have ever been. However I do not think that your families will approve of us working it out? So this is what I need help with. I love him and know he has learned his lesson by \this, but I dont want to lose my family either? Please help me./


First and foremost is are you sure he has learned his lesson and is willing to do whatever it takes to build a new marriage(the old one is dead)? If you are then counseling is a must. If you are sure about this, then your commitment is to your H and child, not to extended family.

Most families just want their loved ones to be happy. It seems irrational that they would make you chose unless of course they have seen him cheat before or treat you badly in the past. The decision is yours about what path you want to take.
bentnotbroken is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 11th June 2009, 12:18 AM   #3
Established Member
 
tami-chan's Avatar
 
Join Date: Mar 2009
Posts: 3,894
I will take your word for it that both you and your husband are committed to rebuilding your marriage and that your husband has learned her lesson. Having said that, you have not vowed to love your family in good times and in bad-loyalty is a given and expected amongst family members. So, let them be, they will turn around if they see that YOU are happy and that your husband is making you happy. Your future is not your family, your future is your husband if you love each other enough to weather the storm together.
tami-chan is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 11th June 2009, 7:32 AM   #4
Established Member
 
Join Date: May 2009
Posts: 2,054
Quote:
Originally Posted by mommaofone View Post
Hi everyone I need some help. My husband which I have been with for over 9 years had an affair and now she is pregnant. We have had a marriage like anyone elses ups and down all along the way. He really is a good man and is totally devastated as I am by what has happened. We live in a small town where everyone knows your business and I mean everyone knows it. We have decided to make it through this hard time and hopefully come out of it stronger than we have ever been. However I do not think that your families will approve of us working it out? So this is what I need help with. I love him and know he has learned his lesson by \this, but I dont want to lose my family either? Please help me./
Sorry I have to as always ask the question. Do you two have kids? Is the relationship really over or just a break, because the OW is pregnant. Are you prepared for the financial commitment, notwithstanding the parental responsibilities your husband (and you) may want to have?
Toodamnpragmatic is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 11th June 2009, 10:12 AM   #5
Established Member
 
lostsoulmate's Avatar
 
Join Date: Jan 2009
Posts: 456
Hang in there

You realize that you are only in control of what you do with your life. What your family does, in truth is really non of your business in the big picture.

What other people think of you is non of your business. If they truely love you they will come around when they are ready. Sometimes, family has a harder time understanding what is going on because they are so close to it. But like Tami said, they will come around. And if they don't then why would you want them.

Good luck to you and your family. You have a bumpy road ahead of you, make sure to get "you" a 21 point check up before you hit the road.

IMO everything happens for a reason. You may not know now why, but someday you will look back and understand the lesson that was being forced upon you from the higher power out there.

Best wishes......

I send peace, hope and brightness!
__________________
Blah, blah, blah....
lostsoulmate is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 11th June 2009, 10:18 AM   #6
Established Member
 
Join Date: Aug 2008
Location: Kansas
Posts: 381
{hugs}
I gasped when I saw your title.
I have no advice - can't imagine being in your shoes - or that there are a lot of people here who have had this issue - I hope everything works out & you do need a great big HUG!
stuckinoz is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 16th June 2009, 5:12 PM   #7
Member
 
Join Date: Jun 2009
Location: southwest
Posts: 10
i'm in the process of something similar... in the next week i should find out if my H fathered a child of the OW.

You are a strong woman to be able to work on your M after something so devastating. If you and your H can get through this, you can get through the issues with your family. They may not come around right away, it may take some time...just like it will take time to improve your M. In the end I've found most family members just want what's best for you. I wish you the best.
nothingissacred is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 18th June 2009, 7:49 PM   #8
New Member
 
Join Date: Jun 2009
Posts: 3
Update

well she is no longer pregnant???? Not sure why she is no longer pregnant. I think that she wanted the whole package baby and my husband as well. So now hopefully family wont find out. But the town will still be talking Im sure.
mommaofone is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 18th June 2009, 9:55 PM   #9
Member
 
Join Date: Aug 2007
Location: In God's grace
Posts: 9,705
Quote:
Originally Posted by mommaofone View Post
well she is no longer pregnant???? Not sure why she is no longer pregnant. I think that she wanted the whole package baby and my husband as well. So now hopefully family wont find out. But the town will still be talking Im sure.

WOW What are your plans now?
bentnotbroken is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 19th June 2009, 12:21 AM   #10
Established Member
 
Join Date: Mar 2006
Location: Close to the Edge
Posts: 8,862
Quote:
Originally Posted by mommaofone View Post
well she is no longer pregnant???? Not sure why she is no longer pregnant. I think that she wanted the whole package baby and my husband as well. So now hopefully family wont find out. But the town will still be talking Im sure.

Was she ever really pregnant to begin with? I know you may have known about this long before posting it, but it seems that when he didn't leave you and supported you instead of her - she realized that a baby wasn't going to win her her prize.

Wow. Well, now you just have to recover your M from the A. That's hard enough on its own.
NoIDidn't is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 19th June 2009, 12:35 AM   #11
Established Member
 
Join Date: Apr 2007
Location: NY
Posts: 4,867
Damn this is crazy! are you gonna stay with this guy? is he remorseful, has he written a NC?
Chrome Barracuda is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 19th June 2009, 2:56 PM   #12
Member
 
Join Date: Sep 2008
Location: Where the Bluebonnets are
Posts: 452
Quote:
Originally Posted by mommaofone View Post
So this is what I need help with. I love him and know he has learned his lesson by \this, but I dont want to lose my family either? Please help me./
This might sound harsh, but it's what I believe. If you are at risk for losing your family because you decide to stick by your husband, you have to honestly think about what you're losing. Not much in my book.

A family should support you in your decisions and be there to help you. They shouldn't try to control you to make you do what they want you to do, even if they think you're making a mistake.

I could see that you might lose some of their respect, because unless you've been in that situation, it's difficult to understand why a BS would stick by their WS, but that you can't help.

If you keep with the decision to stick by your H, just make sure that you're doing it for the right reasons (because it's the right thing for you, and not because you're afraid, etc). And if you decide not to, again make sure it's for the right reasons. It has to settle well in your gut. That's what comes first.
sadintexas is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 19th June 2009, 4:08 PM   #13
Established Member
 
Join Date: Aug 2008
Location: Kansas
Posts: 381
Wow - If you do stick by him - You're a WAY better woman than most & I don't mean that in a sarcastic way. I would applaud you!!

Whatever you decide - I'm sure it's what's best for you & your family.
stuckinoz is offline   Reply With Quote
 

Bookmarks

Thread Tools
Display Modes

 

Similar Threads
Thread Thread Starter Forum Replies Last Post
Husband intentionally got woman pregnant cw2 Infidelity 78 13th July 2008 1:13 PM
Other woman says that she is pregnant devastated Infidelity 29 5th July 2005 10:34 AM
Husband got another woman pregnant Lt. Living Second Chances 8 1st October 2004 2:48 PM
My EX got another woman pregnant while we were together!! Ms_Sweetness Second Chances 3 27th June 2004 2:34 PM

 

All times are GMT -4. The time now is 7:30 AM.

Please note: The suggestions and advice offered on this web site are opinions only and are not to be used in the place of professional psychological counseling or medical advice. If you or someone close to you is currently in crisis or in an emergency situation, contact your local law enforcement agency or emergency number.


Copyright © 1997-2013 LoveShack.org. All Rights Reserved.