freakyfrenchgal19 Posted August 13, 2007 Share Posted August 13, 2007 This is my first time being here... About five months go, I met up with my long time friend (I've known him for 5yrs, but we hadn't seen each other in over 2yrs). We went to see a movie and during that, I made a move on him, we ended up making out in the cinema. We didnt feel bad at the time, but eventually the guilt came in. He's got a girlfriend, the same way i have a boyfriend. We both care and love our partners, but we have admitted to one another that we used to have feelings for each other. A few weeks, after the "cinema experience", we met up again. He came to my house and we ended up sleeping together. It happened again a few times, until we realised that we couldnt carry on sneakig around, because we might end up getting caught. We both decided to stop it, but we ended up in each other's arms once again. This "casual sex" thing only ended last month and neither of our partners suspect a thing. The bad thing is that I'm starting to really like "my friend", and cant stop thinking about him. We both know that if i called him to come over he would, and we would end up sleepig together again. I realised that he's using me as much as Im using him to get pleasure, but my feelings have grow stronger for him. I find myself dreaming and even fantasizing about having sex with him, while i'm sleeping with my BOYFRIEND! Its crazy, but the truth is I dont think my "Friend" likes me in that sort of way, he just enjoys the sex. Ive also noticed that i've been off with my boyfriend, because most of the time i wish i was with someone else. Although me and my boyfriend, have been together for 2yrs, i do love him, but i cant help but sleeping with other guys. HELP Link to post Share on other sites
Vixen763 Posted August 13, 2007 Share Posted August 13, 2007 French Gal, i am in much of a similiar situation although for me its happened once with my ex boyfriend...its very complicated for me right now.. Your seems a very complicated situation... How do you know you still love your partner when you have gone off sex with him and keep sleeping with other people? Are you sure you are with him because you love him or there ARE OTHER UNDERLYING INTERESTS? How can you continue to sleep with other people and continue to betray someone you claim loves you? Is it just about the sex or do you suffere from low sexual selt esteem? Does your partner still satisfy you sexually... you should probably do him a favor and ultimately yourself and break up with him instead of continue to be so disrespectful to continue sleeping with other people... Imagine him continue to do such things behind your back? You might have some emotional issues you need to resolve within yourself before you commit in a relationship unless its an open relationship Good luck Link to post Share on other sites
Balalaika Posted August 13, 2007 Share Posted August 13, 2007 Its crazy, but the truth is I dont think my "Friend" likes me in that sort of way, he just enjoys the sex. Sounds like it might be a case of wanting what you can't have. Let's say "friend" poured his heart out to you and said he wants to be with you forever, kills current relationship to do it. Would you do the same?.... do you feel enough for him to end it with boyfriend to be with him?. The unforbidden and secretive is made up of illusion, fantasy and high. Pretty powerful stuff. Link to post Share on other sites
whichwayisup Posted August 13, 2007 Share Posted August 13, 2007 Your boyfriend deserves a girlfriend who loves ONLY him - Obviously you have no plans to ever marry your boyfriend, so don't you think it's best to break up with him? What you are doing is really unfair to him. Imagine how you would feel if the situation was reversed.... Link to post Share on other sites
bish Posted August 13, 2007 Share Posted August 13, 2007 I realised that he's using me as much as Im using him to get pleasure, but my feelings have grow stronger for him. I find myself dreaming and even fantasizing about having sex with him, while i'm sleeping with my BOYFRIEND! Its crazy, but the truth is I dont think my "Friend" likes me in that sort of way, he just enjoys the sex. Ive also noticed that i've been off with my boyfriend, because most of the time i wish i was with someone else. Although me and my boyfriend, have been together for 2yrs, i do love him, but i cant help but sleeping with other guys. HELP Felt the need to post this story twice eh? Ok, I'll feel compelled to reply twice. Break up with your boyfriend. You don't love him..I don't give a **** what you say. You don't know what love is...it is NOT being in a committed relationship, and spreading your legs for other guys. Break up with him so he can find someone decent. Link to post Share on other sites
Mr. Lucky Posted August 14, 2007 Share Posted August 14, 2007 Although me and my boyfriend, have been together for 2yrs, i do love him, but i cant help but sleeping with other guys. HELP I understand why the casual sex since it's obviously compelling to you. What I don't understand is why you'd want to stay in a relationship where something is so lacking that you're forced to look elsewhere? Time to do the right thing and let the BF go... Mr. Lucky Link to post Share on other sites
Jonah Posted August 14, 2007 Share Posted August 14, 2007 There is way “to not get caught” as you say. To proclaim yourself free, then you can be free. Even so, will you find peace? Did you even have peace before all of this? Perhaps you are holding yourself to other people’s standards and if you could just love yourself for who you are, peace will find you, and perhaps a peaceful kind of love. Link to post Share on other sites
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