JBry Posted September 12, 2005 Share Posted September 12, 2005 Anyone have any advice for me? My girlfrien,whom i lived with at one stage this year,has moved her ex husband in within the last few days,he has declared himself homeless.This has put an obvious strain on us,me in particular not being able to handle his presen in the flat.I feel as though I have to stay away,she hasnt asked him to leave,and he obviously has no intentions of leaving.Do I just walk away and let them get on with it? Link to post Share on other sites
Merin Posted September 12, 2005 Share Posted September 12, 2005 WTF! IMO if your SO chooses to allow an EX to move in with them, YES that would be a deal breaker... Link to post Share on other sites
Author JBry Posted September 12, 2005 Author Share Posted September 12, 2005 WTF! IMO if your SO chooses to allow an EX to move in with them, YES that would be a deal breaker... Thanks for the reply Merin,I know the guys homeless,but surely it cant be right to have him wandering about,and me walking on eggshells?i know hes homeless,but its very uncomfortable,with him wandering about as if he owns the place,and im walking on eggshells. Link to post Share on other sites
bluechocolate Posted September 12, 2005 Share Posted September 12, 2005 Did she even speak to you before he moved in with her? Does she have children with this guy? Surely the guy has other family & friends apart from his ex-wife? Homeless or not, this would be a deal breaker for me too. Link to post Share on other sites
Author JBry Posted September 12, 2005 Author Share Posted September 12, 2005 Yes,they have kids,no,she didnt metion it to me for 3 days,and yes,he does have other friends.I love her,but think this is unforgiveable,and really dont know what to do. Link to post Share on other sites
bluechocolate Posted September 12, 2005 Share Posted September 12, 2005 I figured they had kids - that kinda makes it easier to understand. * no,she didn't mention it to me for 3 days That is very disrespectful to you & your feelings. I love her,but think this is unforgivable,and really don't know what to do. It's very difficult to see how your relationship can survive this, especially as she didn't talk to you about it before hand, she hasn't asked him to leave & he has no intention of doing so. I know what I would do. Link to post Share on other sites
Author JBry Posted September 12, 2005 Author Share Posted September 12, 2005 Yes,i think I know what I need to do as well.Not easy,is it? Link to post Share on other sites
jmargel Posted September 12, 2005 Share Posted September 12, 2005 JBry, It's probably safe to say not only has she disrespected you but has probably been fooling around on you behind your back. Let her have him. Even if she 'kicks' him out, he'll always be around because SHE won't put a stop to it. You've become a second choice to her, find a chick who loves you, not someone who has massive baggage who won't let it go. Link to post Share on other sites
Author JBry Posted September 12, 2005 Author Share Posted September 12, 2005 Well,i suppose you are right.To make myself feel a little better,ive reported them online for co habiting and tax benefit fraud.revenge is sweet,so they say? Link to post Share on other sites
Huskie Posted September 30, 2005 Share Posted September 30, 2005 Jmargel, I think it is extremely irresponsible to assume that she has been fooling around with the ex. I think that should be put aside. Things to be considered here are: Did she end the relationship with the ex? If this is so, she probably has feelings of tremendous guilt towards the children and the ex. Feelings of breaking up the family etc... These are very hard feelings to overcome and may be influencing her decision. How old are the children? If the children are of an understanding age, ie 6 or 7 through to early teens, then she may fear that if she doesnt provide a place to stay for the ex then the children will resent her and think less of her for making it hard for "dad". there is so much more here to consider. JBry, it sounds to me like you and your woman need to have a long hard talk about all the feelings involved here. I wouldnt say it is a deal breaker, but definately something that needs to be looked at beyond just "your" feelings. If she loves you she may feel quite trapped by this situation and like she doesnt have a choice if she doesnt want her children to hate her. good luck mate. I feel for you. Brad Link to post Share on other sites
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