ricardo Posted June 13, 2005 Share Posted June 13, 2005 Hi, i am new to this website so please bear with me as I do not know how to explain my problem. I am due to be married tomy wonderful fiancée, Kay in September. Before we got together she was in a violent relationship and became pregnant by this other man. She ended up having a termination due to medical reasons, her body could not cope with being pregnant. I met her shortly after this and she seemed happy and carefree and she was honest enough to tell me from the start that this had happened. We have now been trying for a baby and she cannot get pregnant. We were told that the termination had damaged the lining of her womb and that she ould never be able tocarry a baby to term, and that if she did get pregnant she would put her life in danger. She has fallen into a deep depression as she still feels guilt over "killing" her baby. Today is the second anniversary of the termination. I love Kay deeply and I want to try and help her out of this cycle of destruction she has put herself in. How can i help her see that no matter what happens as long as I have her then i am happy? Whatever I am saying she is not believing and she is telling me to find someone who can give me children? Please,please help.i love this woman very much but i am not sure i couldcope with her depression and mood changes when we are married and I don't want her to think i have stayed out of pity for her. How can i get around this? Any advice is appreciated Link to post Share on other sites
whichwayisup Posted June 13, 2005 Share Posted June 13, 2005 She has to see a therapist to talk to. This isn't something she can deal with on her own or just taking anti depressants. Talk therapy has to happen for her to cope. If you can and she is able to, discuss this with her and be firm. Keep on telling her that you love her, show her in action, not only words. Depression is difficult in relationships, it takes a HUGE toll and one has to be very understanding and make the choice to stay - work through the emotional rollercoaster. Was she depressed at all before all this happen? Another great place to join and post is depressionfallout. It's a place for spouses who are dealing with depressed husbands/wives etc... Right now the 2 year mark has really hit her hard and she's questioning everything. I don't know what else to say except love her and do what you can to get her to one on one therapy. Keep posting and hope this helps... Link to post Share on other sites
Recommended Posts