My Husband knew what I needed before I did.

[alsudduth]

I'm at a boiling point with my stress levels. If those of you reading have ever bought a house, you'll sympathize that it is one of the most stressful processes ever to go through. The stress has been building and building and I've felt alone at times in the process because only my financial are being used to secure the loan, so when it comes to financial I have to do all hoop jumping, conversations with credit bureaus, loan officers, underwriters etc. I have found myself finding things my husband does that annoy me 10000 times more annoying and I hate to say I've snapped at him probably more than a few times and building up to today.

 

I actually started feeling resentment build and I asked myself why? Why am I letting myself take my stress out on him in a crazy lady tirade? I mentioned to him last week that sometimes I need him to give me specifics about HOW (his favorite line) "it's gonna be ok".

 

So I started thinking back about the things he DID do to help where he can. And while I do wish he would be more proactive in taking some initiative, I see that he is trying.

 

I went into the bedroom where he was relaxing on the bed and snuggled up in his arms and let my weight down on his chest. I didn't have to say anything. He wrapped his arm around me and pulled me in a tight hug. He let me cry and he stroked my hair. He said "Everything is going to be alright, you know?"

 

I thought I needed words that specifically outlined his plan on how exactly it would be alright, turns out I just needed to feel close to him. Because when he said it this time with his arms comforting me, I believed him.

[Unforseen]

Every once in a while us guys can get things right. I am very happy for you that your husband gave you exactly what you needed and can be that wonderful source of comfort for you.

[Grewd]

He is right though, it is gonna be ok. You don't need to know how it is, you just need to be assured that it is. Stressing over things will not make it any better.

 

I have bought a house, was it stressful? Kinda... There was a lot of stuff to do, but I can only do so much and as such my pace of working through it was limited by that. No point stressing, I was doing as good as I could, I don't expect miracles of myself.

[Superchicken]

There you go.

 

 

Men are good for TWO reasons now .

 

 

And NO, Headaches isn't the first !.

 

 

 

 

Ted.

[Davey L]

Remember that little incident whenever you start getting annoyed with him!

 

Seriously though it really IS going to be alright. I've bought a couple of houses and really there's no point in getting stressed. The legal and financial wheels will turn at their own pace no matter what you do or how stressed you get. Remember that millions of others (of whom, statistically, probably many of them less bright and less capable than you) have managed it.

 

It will be OK!

[Superchicken]

Remember that little incident whenever you start getting annoyed with him!

 

Great, then she'd be remembering all the time !.

We (Men) are designed to annoy women.

That's why men get along so well !.

 

 

On a serious note, we do make stupid decisions, but unless it has a significant affect in your family or life, please, let it go.

My mother in law just passed away (She was 69) on Monday 22th this month, and all I hear from my Father in law is how dumb the arguments he had with her in the past were, and how much he misses her now.

I'm a very open person, say what I want to say. But, most important to ME, is that I know what matters most, and anything else, must be taken as being human.

Dumb ass and all.

 

 

Where on this earth for a good time, not a long time.

 

 

Ted.

Edited May 25, 2017 by Superchicken

[BikerAccnt]

House buying is stressful, and I'm glad your husband was there for you at the right time and the time you needed him.

 

As far as home buying goes, the more you do it the easier it gets When you've done it 4 or 5 times, it's old hat!

 

The moving always sucks though!

[RecentChange]

snuggled up in his arms and let my weight down on his chest. I didn't have to say anything. He wrapped his arm around me and pulled me in a tight hug. He let me cry and he stroked my hair. He said "Everything is going to be alright, you know?"

 

You know sometimes it really is as simple as that. I had a... I don't want to say argument, but discussion with my husband the other night how I NEEDED THIS.

 

I tend to be the problem solver and care taker of the two of us, and I told him how sometimes I want nothing more than to be held, and squeezed and told that everything is going to be okay. I said even if it's not going to be okay, give me that moment.

 

It's that simple.

[Southern Gent]

You sound a lot like my wife..., stressing over everything, always trying to macromanage problems, instead of micromanaging problems. You have to learn to just let it go, and let the chips fall where they may. After many years of being around my reinforcing the "let it go" mentality, she has gotten so much better at just relaxing.

 

 

As I've always said, there's no need to worry about something that you can't do anything about at THIS moment. It's very unhealthy to spend your energy worrying. Tackle one problem at a time as they come, one problem at a time.

 

 

Set a certain amount of time per day to worry about and tackle problems when they arise. The rest of the time just ENJOY LIFE! Rome wasn't built in a day.

 

 

Despite what goes through your head at times such as you mentioned, everything WILL be okay. It's all in how you manage your thoughts. Clear your head so you can enjoy the little (and big) blessings in life.

[Mrs. John Adams]

I am so glad you feel better. We are sometimes our own worst enemy.

 

I am a doer.. a worrier.. and john is laid back and rarely gets upset. It feels so good to have him hold me and calm me down... so I can relate.

 

I hope you make so many wonderful memories in your new house!

[BettyDraper]

You sound a lot like my wife..., stressing over everything, always trying to macromanage problems, instead of micromanaging problems. You have to learn to just let it go, and let the chips fall where they may. After many years of being around my reinforcing the "let it go" mentality, she has gotten so much better at just relaxing.

 

 

As I've always said, there's no need to worry about something that you can't do anything about at THIS moment. It's very unhealthy to spend your energy worrying. Tackle one problem at a time as they come, one problem at a time.

 

 

Set a certain amount of time per day to worry about and tackle problems when they arise. The rest of the time just ENJOY LIFE! Rome wasn't built in a day.

 

 

Despite what goes through your head at times such as you mentioned, everything WILL be okay. It's all in how you manage your thoughts. Clear your head so you can enjoy the little (and big) blessings in life.

 

I wonder if that way of approaching life is more common in women.

My husband says that I'm "tightly wound" and he's right. I kill myself trying to be perfect all the time.

 

OP, I feel you dear. When we bought our first home nearly two years ago, I thought I was going to keel over and die from all of the stress. Hugs from my husband, sex and Malbec helped a great deal.

 

There's something so calming about being held by the man you love. My husband is a big lug at 6'2 and over 220 pounds so when he hugs me, I feel like nothing in the world can happen to me.

[Southern Gent]

I wonder if that way of approaching life is more common in women.

My husband says that I'm "tightly wound" and he's right. I kill myself trying to be perfect all the time.

 

OP, I feel you dear. When we bought our first home nearly two years ago, I thought I was going to keel over and die from all of the stress. Hugs from my husband, sex and Malbec helped a great deal.

 

There's something so calming about being held by the man you love. My husband is a big lug at 6'2 and over 220 pounds so when he hugs me, I feel like nothing in the world can happen to me.

 

It's been my experience that women, in general, do stress more than men, although I have seen men do the same thing. I do think most men have a little better ability to compartmentalize their thoughts.

 

 

I think that more women are perfectionists and have more responsibilities. It's sometimes hard to turn it off (the mind) when you have so many things going on at once and to get done. You have to learn to take a little time to de-stress daily. Maybe a little extra few minutes to yourself to get your mind off things and relax. A relaxing bubble bath at the end of the day can work wonders sometimes.

 

 

When I feel like my wife is stressing too much, I ask her if there's anything I can do for her that would ease her mind. If there's not anything in particular I can do, I ask her does she want me to start her a bubble bath. I would offer her a massage, but she is one of those rare people that doesn't enjoy those. She's the first person I've ever met who didn't enjoy a massage.

[carefreegirl]

Yes!

 

I feel your pain too. Buying a house is stressful to say the least! We finally closed on ours on the 23 of last month.

 

This was by far horrible timing for us too. (parents moving to Flordia at the same time too-to far away in my opinion)

 

But like your H mine also stood by keeping the focus on the light at the end of the tunnel. Telling me not to worry etc.

 

We finally have our house after 6 months! Short sales are not short.

 

Its refreshing hearing the good too.

 

Id agree women stress over stuff more easily. So much on our plate.....

[Jamess1]

Don't take the role of the husband : he is the grounding force, let him worry about staff you lean on him. Let go.