adna89 Posted May 21, 2017 Share Posted May 21, 2017 Today is my birthday and now at 11 a.m local time my husband has not said anything yet,he is with me today sunday no work,still nada,,i want to scream at him but what should i do how long wait? this is our second birthdays he knows how important it is to me,i remember his at 00-00 and to make it worse my mother in law is with us till tonight Link to post Share on other sites
basil67 Posted May 21, 2017 Share Posted May 21, 2017 Sorry he missed your birthday Adna. I looked at your history and you seem to have a horrible marriage. This is just more of the same stuff. Are you still not speaking to his mother? If so, it's probably why your husband didn't wish you happy birthday. Why are you still with him? Serious question. 2 Link to post Share on other sites
somanymistakes Posted May 21, 2017 Share Posted May 21, 2017 Did you remind him? Some people are bad with dates. I mean, it's still annoying if he forgot, I'm just trying to check if this is 'husband cannot be bothered to remember' or 'husband knows perfectly well and just doesn't care' Link to post Share on other sites
d0nnivain Posted May 21, 2017 Share Posted May 21, 2017 Do you have a family calendar? If so, enter dates like birthdays & anniversaries in there. I literally programmed my birthday & our anniversary into my husband's phone. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Mr. Lucky Posted May 21, 2017 Share Posted May 21, 2017 i want to scream at him but what should i do how long wait? this is our second birthdays he knows how important it is to me,i remember his at 00-00 This is one of those little tests we set up for our partners that do nothing but make everyone involved unhappy. Here's an idea - wake up, roll over and say "It's my birthday! What did you get me?" No muss, no fuss, no drama ... Mr. Lucky 5 Link to post Share on other sites
BaileyB Posted May 21, 2017 Share Posted May 21, 2017 This is one of those little tests we set up for our partners that do nothing but make everyone involved unhappy. Absolutely! These unsaid expectations do nothing but make everyone unhappy. It would seem that this is just another indication that you are unhappy in your marriage - you feel unappreciated, unhappy with the demands your husband puts on your marriage (related to his family), and the communication is poor. Why do you stay in this marriage if you are so unhappy? I do wish you a happy birthday. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
jenkins95 Posted May 21, 2017 Share Posted May 21, 2017 Happy Birthday (((Adna)))!!! And I'm sorry that it is not really a happy birthday. Sure, some people are better at remembering dates than others, but to completely forget a spouse's birthday is really shi**y. Do you think there's any chance he may be planning to spring a surprise on you? Maybe when MIL has left your home. If I were you, I'd give him the whole day - he may pleasantly surprise you. But if he truly has completely forgotten, planned nothing and bought you nothing, then it's probably time for a very serious talk tomorrow, where you let him know how thoroughly hurt and let down you feel. I haven't yet read your other posts (I'm hoping to soon), but other posters have got the impression that your marriage is a shi**y one. Maybe this could be turned into the catalyst for real change.... Either he gets his act together, or you seriously consider whether you want to stay in a marriage where only one partner is trying? Please let us know what happens anyway. It's your birthday - try to feel special because you are - this is on him. Don't let him ruin it. Perhaps you could see a few girlfriends to cheer you up? Keep posting. We are here for you! Link to post Share on other sites
aileD Posted May 21, 2017 Share Posted May 21, 2017 Happy birthday ! I hope you're enjoying a surprise party right now. If not I'd be considering divorce . Link to post Share on other sites
BettyDraper Posted May 21, 2017 Share Posted May 21, 2017 Your husband could have at least said "Happy birthday" by now....even if you aren't speaking to his mother. I don't know if you are staying with your husband for your child but this is a very toxic relationship. The two of you need counseling or a divorce lawyer. Link to post Share on other sites
basil67 Posted May 21, 2017 Share Posted May 21, 2017 This is one of those little tests we set up for our partners that do nothing but make everyone involved unhappy. Here's an idea - wake up, roll over and say "It's my birthday! What did you get me?" No muss, no fuss, no drama ... Mr. Lucky This is how I manage it and I was going to write as much. Hubby will have gone and got a gift and everything, but then wakes on auto pilot and forgets. I sing myself happy birthday. He laughs and remembers my gift. But the OPs marriage is clearly dysfunctional - I'm not sure that the strategies that happen in a good marriage would apply here. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
rushed Posted May 21, 2017 Share Posted May 21, 2017 I am awful with remembering dates, so I cannot blame others for doing the same. When I was married I couldn't (and still can't) remember if my then husband's birthday was on the 3rd or 4th (we were married for ten years). I still mix up my daughter's birthday with my best friend's birthday. About a month before my birthday I start reminding everyone. "Hey, guess whose birthday is exactly a month from now?" "The best mother in the world's birthday is in two weeks!" "In one hour it will be my birthday!" Like Mr. Lucky said, it's a ridiculous test if one expects someone to remember their birthday. Now if he did remember and he just doesn't care, that's a completely different story. Link to post Share on other sites
dichotomy Posted May 21, 2017 Share Posted May 21, 2017 Unless he does not have a smart phone - or use a PC for work with a calendar. I am not great with dates - but all dates (including kids events - tough) go in my calendar which is on work, home and phone synced. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
SJS Posted May 22, 2017 Share Posted May 22, 2017 I hope you told him that for your birthday dinner you were going out to the restaurant of your choice while his mom stayed home to babysit. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Black Knight Posted May 27, 2017 Share Posted May 27, 2017 Sometime we as men do forget such things. I am in no way excusing your husbands actions but just pointing it out. Did you remind him at all that it was your birthday? If he forgot its bad but if you reminded him and he didn't do anything then that's neglect and selfishness on his part. I hope that wasn't the case and next time if he forgets or refuses to celebrate, you celebrate your own birthday and leave him at home with his momma. Link to post Share on other sites
reboot Posted May 27, 2017 Share Posted May 27, 2017 I'm not sure what planet I find myself on in here, but on my planet forgetting your spouses birthday is unbelievably unbelievable. I understand being forgetful, but your wife or husband or children? Seriously? 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Els Posted May 27, 2017 Share Posted May 27, 2017 If he was a good partner in general, I'd say don't sweat it... but in this case, just sounds like more of the same. Why are you still with him? Link to post Share on other sites
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