alsudduth Posted February 3, 2017 Share Posted February 3, 2017 If any of you have followed my story on the Infidelity thread over the last 7 or 8 months, you'll know that my husband and I struggled with some infidelity on both parts (Mine more recent) I feel like we have turned a new leaf through these hard times. Is it always sunshine and happiness? No. Am I with the man I want to grow old with? I feel like through our trials, I can now confidently say YES. I love my husband more and more everyday. I'm here to tell you all that we all have faults. We all are flawed, and we all make mistakes, sometimes really horrible ones. But through the pain, if you can work through it, stronger relationships can form. My husband and I have learned so much about each other and ourselves through this painful process and I feel like I can finally say we are in a good place now. We are trying and that's all we can ask of each other right now. He may not keep the house as clean as I wish he would, but he is taking better care of our kids when I have other engagements to attend, and picks them up without complaint if I have to go to the office. One of my biggest complaints through our relationship was that he never seemed to make me a priority.....the biggest breakthrough and how I know he is committed now is that he planned a romantic weekend away for us next week all by himself, including securing a family member to take care of our kids and everything. I didn't push him or encourage him to do this, which means he did this because he WANTS to spend the time alone with me, and that is all I ever wanted from him. For those of you struggling, take a step back and realize the good in each other - it takes two to want to make a relationship work, and my husband and I are proof that it can work even through some horrible pain if you love each other enough to commit to the hard work involved. Good Luck! 4 Link to post Share on other sites
Just a Guy Posted February 3, 2017 Share Posted February 3, 2017 Hi alsudduth, I read your initial post very early on after which I did not return to it. I do not remember the details of your post and I am posting here, firstly, to wish you well and to compliment you on having successfully navigated through the treacherous waters of infidelity. I can understand the pain part because of the terrible betrayal of trust that infidelity involves. I also think that the two people involved in a relationship who are struck by infidelity, Have to fundamentally be truly in love to be able to weather this Perfect Storm and in this case I would say that infidelity is an aberration and does not follow the normal pattern of most infidelity cases. All the stereo types of infidelity that people talk about on this forum, do not begin to describe a case such as yours. My only hope is that you have worked hard to pinpoint the real issues that led you to choose such an awful path to resolve your resentment and dissatisfaction with your husband and your marriage. It is very good of you to come back here to post to offer encouragement to others who may be facing the same terrible arid landscape that you traversed and came through successfully.I am sure all of them will benefit greatly. Warm wishes. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Jersey born raised Posted February 10, 2017 Share Posted February 10, 2017 Not sure if you ever answered my questioned from awhile ago. Does your husband at some level feel you are our of his league? Like poor girl marrying super rich good looking dude and having to live in his worid. Think of a plumber marriaging Mrs USA. I know your example is not nearly as extreme but I get a strong sense it is present. Link to post Share on other sites
Author alsudduth Posted February 10, 2017 Author Share Posted February 10, 2017 Not sure if you ever answered my questioned from awhile ago. Does your husband at some level feel you are our of his league? Like poor girl marrying super rich good looking dude and having to live in his worid. Think of a plumber marriaging Mrs USA. I know your example is not nearly as extreme but I get a strong sense it is present. I don't think so. We both have things we are good with that I think evens us out. He has an amazing sense of self control and discipline when he puts his mind to something that I could never match. I happened to find a great job that pays me well and takes care of and appreciates their employees that his job never did. (He was recently laid off after 20 years....gives you an idea of the type of cruddy employer he had) He is fairly confident, maybe more so than me, and I would say we are both on the same level attractiveness wise. (Not super models, but decent looking) I'm not sure why he would feel out of my league and if he does he has NEVER mentioned anything to this effect. Link to post Share on other sites
Overtaxed Posted February 10, 2017 Share Posted February 10, 2017 Thank you for posting this. While this may not be the outcome for me and my WW, it is good to see a happy story. Hope is as important as anything when trying to piece this mess back together. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
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