Trying to deal with a sexless relationship

[Dtimms]

Hello

 

I'm new here so please forgive me if this post is too long. Honestly I'm happy to have found this place as I'm in need of some advice. A little back story before I start. I have been in my current relationship for 6 years. My GF has two young girls from a previous relationship (8 and 9) and those two girls mean the world to me as I am the only father they know. 6 months ago we welcomed a third child into this world.

 

So, before when we were dating the sex was frequent and amazing. Sometimes we would enjoy each other multiple times a day. But shortly after we moved in together I noticed a dramatic decrease down to once or twice a week. Now, since I have a very active sex drive it was disappointing but hey, at least once and sometimes twice a week is not bad at all. But after awhile I've seen it dwindle down to once a month. If I'm lucky.

 

After the birth of our beautiful baby girl 6 months ago (yes, I have 3 girls. Prayers are needed ?) we have only been together twice and during she just seems to be going through the motions. Now I know that having a baby can lower a woman's drive but I've watch it decrease way before our child.

 

I need some advice because I'm constantly torn between resentment and guilt. Resentment due to the lack of intimacy and guilt because I feel that when I bring it up it causes stress and makes her feel that I'm not accepting of her. I am finding it easier and easier to engage in flirting at work. It just feels nice to know that someone finds you attractive. This scares me because I know what path that can take in a hurry.

 

It's not just abdout getting off it's more of the closeness that I miss. I just don't know how long I can ignore my sex drive. I don't think I should have to. Please. Any advice will be appreciated.

[MBWoodard]

Hello

 

I'm new here so please forgive me if this post is too long. Honestly I'm happy to have found this place as I'm in need of some advice. A little back story before I start. I have been in my current relationship for 6 years. My GF has two young girls from a previous relationship (8 and 9) and those two girls mean the world to me as I am the only father they know. 6 months ago we welcomed a third child into this world.

 

So, before when we were dating the sex was frequent and amazing. Sometimes we would enjoy each other multiple times a day. But shortly after we moved in together I noticed a dramatic decrease down to once or twice a week. Now, since I have a very active sex drive it was disappointing but hey, at least once and sometimes twice a week is not bad at all. But after awhile I've seen it dwindle down to once a month. If I'm lucky.

 

After the birth of our beautiful baby girl 6 months ago (yes, I have 3 girls. Prayers are needed ?) we have only been together twice and during she just seems to be going through the motions. Now I know that having a baby can lower a woman's drive but I've watch it decrease way before our child.

 

I need some advice because I'm constantly torn between resentment and guilt. Resentment due to the lack of intimacy and guilt because I feel that when I bring it up it causes stress and makes her feel that I'm not accepting of her. I am finding it easier and easier to engage in flirting at work. It just feels nice to know that someone finds you attractive. This scares me because I know what path that can take in a hurry.

 

It's not just abdout getting off it's more of the closeness that I miss. I just don't know how long I can ignore my sex drive. I don't think I should have to. Please. Any advice will be appreciated.

 

I'm married and going through the same hell. No kids here.

First off, let's ditch the guilt over bringing it up. I no longer feel guilty about it when I bring it up. Usually because I feel so much anger and resentment towards my spouse. Skrew guilt.

People will toss out millions of way to save the relationship from going somewhere new, to counseling to all sorts of other bull ****.

I get it, you have kids. You don't want to leave these kids. You didn't say if you are married or not, I wont assume either way.

The truth is, the longer it goes in, the more difficult it becomes. Do you want to sit down and talk about it with her? I would. Hell, you can yell and scream. There might be some little tiny thing, or it might seem tiny to you, that would make her go from "don't touch me" to I love you. She needs to tell you what that is. Women, we often use sex as a weapon. (I don't, but that's irrelevant) I will tell you, something is missing, the connection is missing. Find the connection, and you can find a way to work on it. My husband used to melt my heart. Now it gets colder when he is around. He doesn't ask me about my day, he doesn't take an interest in what I am doing, and he often just doesn't bother at all with me. I sit feeling like I have had my heart ripped out because I just keep trying, keep doing nice things, keep hoping that he will spark an interest, and he doesn't. I only get sex when I bring up that it's been a month or two. I don't even remember what he smells like any more. I know I used to love it. Don't flirt at work. It can only lead to stupid decisions. I know it makes you feel good, but if your SO were to see, she would be pissed. Also, don't just stuck around for the kids, they can feel that, and it ****s them up.

[Dtimms]

I'm married and going through the same hell. No kids here.

First off, let's ditch the guilt over bringing it up. I no longer feel guilty about it when I bring it up. Usually because I feel so much anger and resentment towards my spouse. Skrew guilt.

People will toss out millions of way to save the relationship from going somewhere new, to counseling to all sorts of other bull ****.

I get it, you have kids. You don't want to leave these kids. You didn't say if you are married or not, I wont assume either way.

The truth is, the longer it goes in, the more difficult it becomes. Do you want to sit down and talk about it with her? I would. Hell, you can yell and scream. There might be some little tiny thing, or it might seem tiny to you, that would make her go from "don't touch me" to I love you. She needs to tell you what that is. Women, we often use sex as a weapon. (I don't, but that's irrelevant) I will tell you, something is missing, the connection is missing. Find the connection, and you can find a way to work on it. My husband used to melt my heart. Now it gets colder when he is around. He doesn't ask me about my day, he doesn't take an interest in what I am doing, and he often just doesn't bother at all with me. I sit feeling like I have had my heart ripped out because I just keep trying, keep doing nice things, keep hoping that he will spark an interest, and he doesn't. I only get sex when I bring up that it's been a month or two. I don't even remember what he smells like any more. I know I used to love it. Don't flirt at work. It can only lead to stupid decisions. I know it makes you feel good, but if your SO were to see, she would be pissed. Also, don't just stuck around for the kids, they can feel that, and it ****s them up.

 

Thank you so much the advice. No, we are not married but she talks about it often. Honestly, I'm nervous of the idea because of the lack of sexual intimacy. I do bring up the lack of sex every once in awhile and it usually leads to her apologizing and feeling like crap because she feels like I'm not happy with her as a partner/ spouse. So that leads me to having to chose between making her feel like crap or keeping my mouth shut. Besides our lack of sex the relationship is great. When you finally remind your husband how long it's been and you two have sex, do you worry about if he's into it or not or is it just that it's been so long and you're just focus on you? The reason I ask that is because I've thought about bringing it up like that before but not sure how it would feel if I'm only in it for myself (no pun attended lol)

 

 

Thanks again

[DreamP]

I do bring up the lack of sex every once in awhile and it usually leads to her apologizing and feeling like crap because she feels like I'm not happy with her as a partner/ spouse.

 

But you aren't happy with her as a partner. You can't run away from the problem. You need to discuss it with your partner. If you can't come to a solution, then it's time to move out. Trust me, I have been in a sexless marriage for years. Just staying for the kids. It only builds resentment and anger. And it will never get better without some type of intervention.

[Michelle ma Belle]

OP, I've been here only in the reverse and have talked about it at great length on here many many times...

 

Believe me when I tell you that I feel your pain and frustration BUT you should also believe me when I tell you that this will only get worse before it gets better ESPECIALLY if you don't discuss it openly and honestly.

 

Resentment is TOXIC! It may seem doable now or even for the short term but it will rot your insides with enough time.

 

Once again, relationships take TWO people to make it work and sex IS a VERY important part of any healthy, happy and fulfilling life together. And you're right, it's not just about the act of sex itself or relieving yourself as much as it is about the emotional connection you have with your partner that can only really come from sexual closeness.

 

That's nothing to be ashamed of or feel guilty about for heaven's sake!

 

I'm not going to lie...the odds of things going back to several times a day or even a week are pretty slim. You might get lucky again in about 10-15 years when her libido kicks in as she enters the prime of her life but it might be too late for you by then :/

 

Regardless, YOU NEED TO TALK WITH HER ABOUT THIS!

 

Being a martyr isn't doing anyone any good least of all you.

 

Good luck.

[Satu]

How does she explain her lack of desire?

 

What does she cite as the cause of it?

[Liam1]

 

Once again, relationships take TWO people to make it work and sex IS a VERY important part of any healthy, happy and fulfilling life together. And you're right, it's not just about the act of sex itself or relieving yourself as much as it is about the emotional connection you have with your partner that can only really come from sexual closeness.

 

That's nothing to be ashamed of or feel guilty about for heaven's sake

 

 

 

OP:

 

I second the above.

 

With that said, because she had a baby six months ago, she is likely totally drained.

 

So, maybe less sex but more quality time sex might be what you want to discuss with her, at least for now.

 

Can you get a babysitter to take the kids, so you can go out to dinner and come home to a quiet empty house? This might help get her into the mood.

 

If she refuses to discuss the issue, counseling is a must IMO. You only need a few sessions, but you need someone impartial to help her see that this issue if not addressed could destroy her marriage.

Edited March 24, 2016 by Liam1
typo

[Dtimms]

How does she explain her lack of desire?

 

What does she cite as the cause of it?

 

Over the years there have been several excuses. When I was getting my Masters it was stress over the lack of money. Now that I have a well paying job it turned to being too busy at home with the girls that cause her to be exhausted at night. I take care of the cooking and I hired cleaning service to come by twice a week to tidy up a bit. Now it's thatbshe feels insecure about her body after birth. I do my best to reassure her how beautiful she is and how much I love her but it just seems llike I'm always chasing my own tail.

 

For awhile I thought it might be thatbshe just isn't attracted to me anymore but I work out constantly and keep myself well groomed and like I mentione in the original post I receive attention from other ladies in my office. I'm just out of answers at this point and hoping that she agress to therapy because that's the only idea O have left.

[Dtimms]

OP, I've been here only in the reverse and have talked about it at great length on here many many times...

 

Believe me when I tell you that I feel your pain and frustration BUT you should also believe me when I tell you that this will only get worse before it gets better ESPECIALLY if you don't discuss it openly and honestly.

 

Resentment is TOXIC! It may seem doable now or even for the short term but it will rot your insides with enough time.

 

Once again, relationships take TWO people to make it work and sex IS a VERY important part of any healthy, happy and fulfilling life together. And you're right, it's not just about the act of sex itself or relieving yourself as much as it is about the emotional connection you have with your partner that can only really come from sexual closeness.

 

That's nothing to be ashamed of or feel guilty about for heaven's sake!

 

I'm not going to lie...the odds of things going back to several times a day or even a week are pretty slim. You might get lucky again in about 10-15 years when her libido kicks in as she enters the prime of her life but it might be too late for you by then :/

 

Regardless, YOU NEED TO TALK WITH HER ABOUT THIS!

 

Being a martyr isn't doing anyone any good least of all you.

 

Good luck.

 

Yeah, you're right. That resentment is less tolerable than it was a year ago. I guess I just felt that I didn't want to be overly pushy and I assumed that one day it will justbtuen on like a light switch as ridiculous as that sounds.

[Dtimms]

Thank you all for your advice. It has been really helpful.

[Satu]

snip

 

I'm just out of answers at this point and hoping that she agrees to therapy because that's the only idea O have left.

 

I think the therapy is a good idea.

 

She probably doesn't even know herself what the problem is.

 

Some therapy might help her look beneath the surface and find out what the real issue is.

 

 

Take care.

[MBWoodard]

Hello

 

I'm new here so please forgive me if this post is too long. Honestly I'm happy to have found this place as I'm in need of some advice. A little back story before I start. I have been in my current relationship for 6 years. My GF has two young girls from a previous relationship (8 and 9) and those two girls mean the world to me as I am the only father they know. 6 months ago we welcomed a third child into this world.

 

So, before when we were dating the sex was frequent and amazing. Sometimes we would enjoy each other multiple times a day. But shortly after we moved in together I noticed a dramatic decrease down to once or twice a week. Now, since I have a very active sex drive it was disappointing but hey, at least once and sometimes twice a week is not bad at all. But after awhile I've seen it dwindle down to once a month. If I'm lucky.

 

After the birth of our beautiful baby girl 6 months ago (yes, I have 3 girls. Prayers are needed ?) we have only been together twice and during she just seems to be going through the motions. Now I know that having a baby can lower a woman's drive but I've watch it decrease way before our child.

 

I need some advice because I'm constantly torn between resentment and guilt. Resentment due to the lack of intimacy and guilt because I feel that when I bring it up it causes stress and makes her feel that I'm not accepting of her. I am finding it easier and easier to engage in flirting at work. It just feels nice to know that someone finds you attractive. This scares me because I know what path that can take in a hurry.

 

It's not just abdout getting off it's more of the closeness that I miss. I just don't know how long I can ignore my sex drive. I don't think I should have to. Please. Any advice will be appreciated.

 

Thank you so much the advice. No, we are not married but she talks about it often. Honestly, I'm nervous of the idea because of the lack of sexual intimacy. I do bring up the lack of sex every once in awhile and it usually leads to her apologizing and feeling like crap because she feels like I'm not happy with her as a partner/ spouse. So that leads me to having to chose between making her feel like crap or keeping my mouth shut. Besides our lack of sex the relationship is great. When you finally remind your husband how long it's been and you two have sex, do you worry about if he's into it or not or is it just that it's been so long and you're just focus on you? The reason I ask that is because I've thought about bringing it up like that before but not sure how it would feel if I'm only in it for myself (no pun attended lol)

 

 

Thanks again

 

I do feel as if it is just to be nice to me when I bring it up.. I am only half OK with that. I always figure something is better than nothing, and I try to be quick to let go of harsh feelings about it. I know he is doing it to try to make me happy, and I am mentioning it to try to be close to him again.

My husband does the same thing in apologizing, and feeling like crap. I am getting to where I think maybe he should feel like crap for a few seconds to think about what it is that is bothering him.

You said it dwindled before the newest baby. It is likely that she has too much on her mind and doesn't know how to talk about it. I try to through out the weeks between sex ask questions about what is on his mind. I do this with as little judgement as possible, and not from a stand point of needing to solve problems. When you start trying to solve all of another person's problems, you take away their feelings of self worth. I have no kids, but I imagine that many people would get stressed about how to raise a new child wether it is the first or the fifth. That they stress about finances and lots of other things. The more you talk and listen to what she has to say the more likely she will have you on her mind. Often times a couple talks, but no one listens. REALLY listen.

So it is all coming down to communication. You also have to be willing to let your harsh feelings fly out the window the moment you bring it up. That's time to forgive and move on.

My advice for you is to think about when everything was good, and give her a few days each month of what that was. Hire a sitter, or drop the kids with a relative. Go out for dinner just the two of you let her grab a drink or two. Hey in the habit of doing this weekly/bi weekly. Go take a class together, or plan a walk together. Daily give eachother 10 mins undivided attention where you listen without judgement. Do not engage in flirting with other women. If she heard about it, or saw it, it would hurt her. The only problem is, she has to know things are headed down the tubes and want to do something about it.

My husband tells me he wants to fix things, but the actions aren't quite there. It seems as if I have to make the solutions, and force him to follow through. We had a problem with him not pulling his weight around the house, I made a big chore chart and put it on the fridge. I made sure I was the first one to owe the penalty for not doing my daily chore. That way he knew it wasn't only for him. I had to come up with the solution myself and let him see fully how it worked to affect him. It is possible that if you suggest to her these solutions she will jump in. She may be thinking about it with no direction on how to work on it.

The thing is, if she isn't willing to work on it, then you need to be ready to get out.

[ShatteredLady]

Has she had a SPECIALIST analyse her hormones? I have friends who say it changed their lives. Even the slightest imbalance can make a lot of difference to a woman's libido. Is she still breast feeding? That & sleep deprivation effected me a lot.

[MBWoodard]

Has she had a SPECIALIST analyse her hormones? I have friends who say it changed their lives. Even the slightest imbalance can make a lot of difference to a woman's libido. Is she still breast feeding? That & sleep deprivation effected me a lot.

 

She is right. Our hormones can do crazy things. With the ages of your kids I am sure she isn't 22. After 25 women see a drip in hormone levels, which can cause a drop in libido. At age 30 it drops again. Somewhere around 40 it spikes! When I was 20, I was like a guy, all I ever thought of was sex. In my 30's I want it for 2 reasons endorphins, and to feel close to my partner. I don't think of it 24/7 like I did when I was in my 20's though.

You said it started before the pregnancy. If she stopped birth control that would mess with hormones enough to cause some imbalance. If she didn't it could well be that the change crept in, and birth control can help balance that back out.

If you want to compare notes on talking points for the big discussion on how to fix it, let's do it. Maybe we can come up with things together one from the male side, one from the female.

[seekingpeaceinlove]

After by best friend had a baby, she and her hubby didn't have sex for about 8 months. Why? Here are the reasons she listed:

 

1.) ZERO desire; perhaps due to hormones (especially if she's breast feeding)

2.) Resentful that hubby wasn't pulling his weight with the baby

3.) Resentful that hubby was acting needy (seemed a bit jealous of all the attention she was giving to baby)

 

Her husband never nagged her or made her feel bad about the non sex. They also had a dwindling sex life before the baby but I don't believe it was a huge issue for either of them.

 

Besides hormones, your gf might be holding some resentment towards you. Are you pulling your weight around the home? With the baby? Have you shown her how you desire her besides wanting sex and telling her she's beautiful? (eg: romantic actions)

 

ALSO, after 6 years...why aren't you two married? You took the leap to have a baby but no marriage? Are you two on the same page with this?

 

Feeling sexy, sexual, horny (for a woman) is so much more mental than anything else. Try to have more gentle and open converstations with your gf. Ask her if there's anything you can do to make her feel the way she did when you two were first dating and having more frequent sex.

 

Right now though...she's probably exhausted, hormonally imbalanced and simply laser focused on the baby. I'd say be the best husband and dad possible and ask what her needs are before jumping into the sex talk.

[seekingpeaceinlove]

BTW: Ease off on the flirting at work. You know that this is dangrous territory. You're feeling unwanted and relishing the attention when flirting. STOP. You can nip this in the bud now or else risk something really bad happening.

[Deidre]

There are two problems here it seems. One, the lack of sex/intimacy, but the other is that she plays a victim and in turn, this shuts down the conversation. It may not be purposeful, but it may be. Keeping you quiet, will not cause the problem to disappear. I'm not married (yet) and don't have kids, but it could be that she doesn't feel like she used to, because you live with her now, and she is in this mother role? Hard to say, really. But, you should be able to voice your concerns without her shutting down the discussion. That's actually the larger problem to be honest, of the two.

[basil67]

I highly recommend she read the book "Where Did My Libido Go?" by Dr Rosie King.

[ShatteredLady]

If you're flirting at work are you generally 'making eyes', lingering on attractive women when out?

 

Our sex life was great before & when my H started his first affair. I remember so clearly getting our snacks in the cinema. The young lady who served us was pretty & perky. My H clearly flirted with her. He was standing right next to me!!

 

It was such a shock (he'd never done that before) & he was stood right next to me!! Me & the girl clearly exchanged glances...she was disgusted & I was so hurt. My H didn't notice. He just had that, "I'm the cool man" look on his face. It was just a moment but it changed the dynamic of our marriage!!

 

Straying eyes are a huge libido killer!!

 

Foreplay for women lasts all day. The way our man looks at us & other women is foreplay! The way a man acts. The things he says & does. The kisses & cuddles. The little complements are all foreplay & without foreplay women aren't ready to go....

[SJS]

 

I receive attention from other ladies in my office.

By any chance have you mentioned this to her?

[sandylee1]

Let me try and tell you how she may be feeling... based on my own experience.

 

 

Having a 6 month old baby IS exhausting. It's a 24/7 job and the times when the baby is sleeping ... you just want to rest.... that's how I felt. I don't know if your baby sleeps through the night yet ....but sleep depravation also leaves new mothers drained ... waking up in the night to feed.

 

When I would complain about being so tired.. my husband said ...'but the baby sleeps a lot during the day...when she sleeps you should sleep'. That used to really tick me off. I told him.. when the baby had a nap.... I needed to clean up.... do laundry...do ironing etc.

 

Your GF has a baby and 2 other kids. So I guess she also helps with their homework , sorts out school uniforms and any other needs they have.

 

While you go to work ... The kids are at school.. the time flies by... and being home with the baby .... you feel constantly busy .... feeding /sterilising bottles/ changing diapers...... if they are weaning...on semi solids then feeding is a job in itself...... yet by school pick up time.. you also don't feel like you've accomplished anything in the house at all.

 

By the time the kids get back from school ...it can be a little chaotic... afterschool snacks .....kids arguing about nothing and honestly .... as a mother in that situation you don't feel like you have a minute to yourself.....when the kids are all sleeping...you just want to relax and aren't necessarily in the mood.

 

On one hand you're happy with your baby ... yet it can also feel like you've lost your freedom too.....with this little person who depends on you for absolutely everything. Especially where she has the 8 and 9 year old who are semi independent... then you're back to square 1 with a baby ...guessing what every cry is about...and knowing that you can't just jump in the car to pop to the shop....because you have to pack the baby bag.. topping up diapers/wipes /food /spare clothes.

 

So perhaps you can get an idea of how it is for her ..... having said that, I understand what you're saying too.

 

 

I'll suggest a few things based on what would have would have made me more responsive:

 

1) Being able to have time away from the baby now and again (at least monthly) ....like for a spa day/massages

 

2) Having a babysitter. .... so just the two of you can go out on date nights..again monthly would be good

 

3) Taking one day on the weekend ....where you get up in the middle of the night with the baby.... then letting her have a lie in.... While you deal with breakfast for the kids.

 

Sometimes just rub her back to relax her.. but without the immediate expectation of sex......that will come along.

 

If she's relaxed and can feel destressed, then there is more desire to be intimate. She'll also appreciate that you are thinking about HER.

 

Kids take a lot of time and the key is maintaining your emotional /physical connection as a couple....Whilst balancing being parents.

[dichotomy]

Lots of good advice here.

 

If you start counseling - they will try to find out if you (the husband) has done his best to make her life easier with all the kids - do you help around home, hire baby sitter, treat her lovingly, etc...before they get to sex.

 

 

 

One question from a guy who has dealt with a low sex marriage - how old where her girls when you dated?

[heartwhole]

Is she breastfeeding? That can decrease libido a lot . . . your body is trying to avoid another pregnancy while you've got a baby depending on you. Her OB or midwife may be able to help with an estrogen cream.

 

Does she take an SSRI? Or hormonal birth control? Again, those affect libido. Or any other medications? Ditto the comments about lack of restorative sleep as well.

 

I would encourage you to view her decrease in libido as something medical and not as anything that personally has to do with you or her feelings about you. If she could turn it on, I'm sure she would. The question is whether you can address any physical issues that are impacting her. In the meantime, be sure to remain physically connected through touch, cuddling, kissing, etc.

 

Your sexual needs are absolutely important. She probably gets defensive when you bring it up because she feels guilty and frustrated. If you can have a non-judgmental conversation where you focus on your love for her and your need for sex, you may be able to reach a consensus about things you can do that don't require her to be physically receptive and a target frequency you can both be happy with (multiple times a day is unrealistic with a 6 month old, but certainly 1-2x a week is a reasonable goal with the understanding that life happens and you won't always hit your target).

[Ladyjane14]

The ladies are right about breastfeeding reducing the libido. There's another less known aspect of having a newborn though... You're handling a baby all day long, and yeah, you're exhausted... but your husband just feels weird under your hands. It's hard to describe, almost like you don't have a tactile familiarity with him anymore.

 

Anyway, the advice you've had to talk about it, even if it makes you uncomfortable and even if it makes her feel bad, is good advice. What she needs to realize is that she gets the same thing out of good sex that you do. What you said earlier about it not being just a matter of 'getting off', but rather 'reconnecting' is true. Both males and females release powerful, bonding hormones upon orgasm (vassopressin/oxytocin) that in essence say "THIS is my mate". So, if you want a happy, emotionally intimate, relationship going forward, this sexual aspect of the relationship is a must. It's the biological tie that binds.

 

Do a little scientific research on the subject before you talk with her and be prepared with the facts. Women will often interpret the husband's complaint of lack of sex as a selfish desire just to have an orgasm.. and no one wants to feel like some sort of "receptacle". But when the physiological aspects become known, and one learns how they effect the emotional intimacy of the relationship, it's sometimes a game-changer.

[sandylee1]

I just have to mention that pretty much every guy whose wife or GF has had a baby ....and says the intimacy is gone... also says he pulls his weight around the house. I'm not sure I'm convinced that that is the case.

 

On discussing this with my H .... he seems to THINK he did a lot when the kids were babies ... but he didn't. I remember once asking if he could wake up early one day of the weekend with the baby so I could have a rest .... and he said the weekends were for him to rest after working all week.

 

There is this thinking with many husbands ....that because they are working and paying all the bills ... that there part is done.

 

OP ....have you ever spent a full (working) day with the baby on your own .... GF not in the house ? That's not even adding her daughters into the equation and supervising them getting ready for school.

Honestly ... unless you've done it ... you won't appreciate what it's like.

 

A friend once told me her husband had to get their 2 kids of to daycare and school before work (like she did all the time) but she had an early meeting that day.

 

He got so stressed out with it. .. just getting them ready and breakfast ... that he didn't go to work that day. He said he didn't know how she did it everyday ... without going mad.