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Being an emotional rubbish bin


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Hi all,

 

Sorry if another topic on the subject exists, but I couldn't find any. Maybe there's an expression for my case which I do not know.

 

I am in a serious relationship with a girl that I love. In general, we get on very well and we are soon getting married. At this stage, I am aware that the relationship means much more than just a boyfriend-girlfriend couple. You get both the positives and the negatives.

 

However, I have a problem with one particular aspect of our mutual life. We talk openly about everything, which is fine (or at least I think so). This includes all sorts of negative emotions, feelings, problems (mainly job related, but also some general everyday people's life stuff). I understand this and I am trying to be supportive, giving advice, addressing problems etc. I am doing the same myself too, everyone sometimes needs a shoulder to cry on...

 

I feel she often crosses a line though. She unloads a lot of emotions, which probably helps her, but it all gets on me. I am the man in the relationship and always try to remain calm/confident, but I also have feelings and my mind does not remain unaffected. I am giving her indications about this, but it looks like that she (or her hormones) do not care.

 

Am I just the next ordinary guy complaining from his moaning woman? Should I set some boundaries in order to protect myself? Or should I just take it easy and try not to be influenced by her (and her hormones) so much?

 

Cheers

Edited by simps0n
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She unloads a lot of emotions, which probably helps her, but it all gets on me. I am the man in the relationship and always try to remain calm/confident, but I also have feelings and my mind does not remain unaffected. I am giving her indications about this, but it looks like that she (or her hormones) do not care.

 

Can you be more specific about how this affects you?

 

If you're saying her venting ruins your day, I'd gently suggest the issue is more with you than her. It's likely therapeutic for her to talk these things through but I doubt she's placing the burden of fixing them on you. Sometimes the only skill necessary is the ability to be a good listener...

 

Mr. Lucky

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