Long term girlfriend hates my best friend

[elliot]

What would you do? I've been with her for 10 years. We have one kid and another on its way.

 

Since last year, she hates my best friend for no real reason and she will not let me see him. He's a good guy, but the only one not in a relationship. He doesn't have kids. She makes fun of him (behind his back) because he is single and doesn't have kids.

 

She told me that she hates him to death and don't wanna see him ever again.

 

All because one time last year, we drank a few beers. My kid was asleep for the night. She came home after her shift. She was furious because he was parked in her parking spot. So she came inside and told him to move his car. He couldn't find his car keys and frankly, he was way over the limit. I told her just park to the other spot. She was mad. She wanted him to go move his car to the next spot NOW so she could park at her usual spot. I told her "just wait till tomorrow and we'll find them". We looked for the keys but couldn't find them. She started screaming like a crazy person and my friend told her to calm down and nothing else. She was not complying so he raised his voice at her but did not insult her.

 

She called his family in the middle of the night. She basically woke them at 3 in the morning because she did not want him to stay over. Her sister arrived in the middle of the night and picked him up. We found the keys and I texted him saying that I had the keys and that he could get them next morning.

 

He called the next morning and went to get his car back. He apologized to my girl and asked her if it was okay. She said yes. But I knew it was lies.

 

When I tell her about inviting him to come over and drink a few beers (and make a small fire outside), she won't let me invite him and she gets automatically mad. Her pregnancy comes to an end so she will give birth in a few weeks. I told her "now is the best time for him to come at the house and enjoy a small fire outdoors". But no. She won't change her mind. She said "the only time I want to see him is at the hospital when the baby will be born. When he'll come to see us, I will tell him to go away".

 

I don't know what to do. I can't see my best friend anymore because of her. She won't let me go out either. We've been friends till elementary school. She calls him my "lover". He is not aware that she hates him and thinks everything is fine with her.

 

Help?

[mrs rubble]

Your girlfriend sounds like a drag!!

Dunno why you allow her to tell you what you are and aren't aloud to do, she's not your mom.

If I were you, I'd start standing up to her. Her behaviour is pathetic, she needs to grow up.

[Giggle]

I would kind of think she hit on him and he refused. Her behavior makes no real sense. I would never let someone keep me from my best friend.

[No Limit]

Either they hooked up or she wanted to hook up and he refused. At least that's the only few options that would explain why she wants you to stay away from him. Sit him down, he'll most likely be more honest than her - and have the baby DNA tested once it is born.

[elliot]

No they never hooked up. It's just that's shes very rancorous. After the keys incident, she deleted him from facebook almost immediately.

[elliot]

She doesn't let me go out to see my other friends either. She have zero friends and doesn't understand why I feel the need to see my friends.

 

Honestly I feel trapped.

[Trishern]

What would you do? I've been with her for 10 years. We have one kid and another on its way.

 

 

She told me that she hates him to death and don't wanna see him ever again.

 

 

 

She started screaming like a crazy person and my friend told her to calm down and nothing else. She was not complying so he raised his voice at her but did not insult her.

 

She called his family in the middle of the night. She basically woke them at 3 in the morning because she did not want him to stay over.

 

He called the next morning and went to get his car back. He apologized to my girl and asked her if it was okay. She said yes. But I knew it was lies.

 

 

 

She said "the only time I want to see him is at the hospital when the baby will be born. When he'll come to see us, I will tell him to go away".

 

I don't know what to do. I can't see my best friend anymore because of her. She won't let me go out either. We've been friends till elementary school. She calls him my "lover". He is not aware that she hates him and thinks everything is fine with her.

 

Help?

 

See all the bolded above and decide if your GF is rational.

 

 

I think she's a bit jealous of your friendship TBH and this incident was the perfect opportunity to get her way an try and push you and he apart. You've known him for so long and it seems to be bothering her. Do you have other friends that she is okay with?

 

 

I think she's overreacting, even though I would have been annoyed if my parking place was taken after working a late shift, taking as far as hating him to death is way over the top. Quite simply her behaviour isn't normal, based on the incident you describe.

 

 

The only thing you might have done was tell your friend not to raise his voice at her.

 

 

He apologised the following day and that really should have been the end of it.

 

 

I don't understand why he can't come to visit. The to say she wants him to come to the hospital when the baby is born, just to tell him to leave is madness. Why would she do this? To make him look silly or Something? It just sounds wicked to me. Like she'll get some sick pleasure out of humiliating him. Please don't let him come to the hospital, for her to do this to him.

 

 

This sort of behaviour would really worry me. On the one hand she tells him it's okay over the phone, then she says something else behind his back. So if he turned up at your house, what would she really do?

 

 

Does she control other areas of your life like this? I personally would not tolerate this. Why laugh at someone because they have no kids? So she wants to rub your new baby in his face at the hospital and then kick him out? If I were you, I'd be terribly worried to get on the wrong side of her. She sounds unpredictable.

 

 

 

Before this happened, did she like him? Did they get on? Were there any other issues at all between them?

 

 

Is she this unreasonable about other things? Does she always get her own way?

 

 

She's controlling you because you allow it. Do you want to live the rest of your life this way? You should not let her tell you what to do because she will loose respect for you, if she hasn't already.

You can't get up and go out without permission from her? Are you a prisoner there? Will she barricade the door or refuse to let you back in?

 

 

If so, you need to end this cycle. Let her find someone else who will tolerate this, because I can tell you she'll find a very hard time trying.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Mrs. T

[Trishern]

What would you do?

 

Help?

 

To answer your question, I would end the relationship and co-parent with her. There is no way I will be controlled by a BF (or even husband like this) on being able to go out or seeing my friends.

 

 

People who behave like this are like loose cannons and I would have no desire to spend the rest of my life or indeed any more time with such a person.

 

 

Just because she's pregnant, you don't have to accept her craziness.

 

 

This is an extreme case of insecurity and control.

 

 

Mrs. T

[Fleur de cactus]

I think she hated him before the parking incident. Usually when we have visitor we parked in any spot until the visitor leaves. I never hear about someone overreacting over a parking taken by a visitor.

 

The fact that she does not have friends is a red flag. She is a control freak. So why do you listen to her?. It is an abuse to ask a partner to end contact and relationship s/he has. She is using isolation tactic to make your life miserable. Her intention may not be to make you miserable but it will happen since this is not right. This is not a healthy relationship, this is not a life.

[sandylee1]

This is not someone you want to have a life partnership with at all. Has she ever had a mental illness diagnosis? Does she have family? Are they okay?

 

In so far as you let another person take advantage and treat you like this, some will do just that. Get tough and simply tell her she's not your mother, you are not a child and she cannot control you like this. Tell her that her behaviour is irrational and she can post the situation on any relationship forum to see what independent people think.

 

You need to make it clear that you're not prepared to live your life like this and if she cannot accept that, the relationship will have to end and you can work on coparenting arrangements. You have to mean what you say and follow through, otherwise don't bother saying it.

 

Women don't respect men that they can control like this at all. She thinks you're a pushover and you're living up to that view.

 

It ends when you say so.

[Lois_Griffin]

She doesn't let me go out to see my other friends either. She have zero friends and doesn't understand why I feel the need to see my friends.

 

Honestly I feel trapped.

And yet, you keep having kids with her.

[Lois_Griffin]

No they never hooked up. It's just that's shes very rancorous. After the keys incident, she deleted him from facebook almost immediately.

Honestly, she kind of sounds like a witch.

 

HOWEVER.

 

She probably didn't appreciate coming home from work to find two drunken imbeciles in the living room who were supposed to be in charge of your sleeping child in the next room.