dwideopen Posted June 29, 2015 Share Posted June 29, 2015 We've been together 17 years, 3 young kids, 2 good paying jobs, a nice suburb, own 2 cars, and a dog. Everything would be perfect, but what started as post partum depression has taken a lot from me and my family. Therapy and meds help, but she's still not the girl I married. We tend to go and thrive against the flow. We grew up poor, went to college, earned degrees on our own, purchased a house at a young age, had two life changing weight loss surgeries, so we're not afraid of taking drastic moves to improve our life. No risk, no reward. She's always wanted to move to an east coast city, and I'm considering it, seeing how just the thought has lifted her mood and spirits tremendously. I can see it in her eyes. I know its more expensive. I know its going to be an adjustment to the weather.I know we'll be far away from family. I know its not going to be easy. I know that I'll be losing my support system, although the support system is actually part of the problem. We're highly independent, not by choice, but because the supports are busy fixing the other siblings problems from both our families. I'm somewhat better at dealing w/that fact, she tends to really dwell on it. I think being away from the drama, putting a great distance to it will actually help. That said, we'll be breaking some grandparents hearts. I don't know if this is the right move, but I know this...I need my wife, the kids need their mother, and I think their mother needs this move. Keeping the family whole is the most important thing in my life, at any cost. Link to post Share on other sites
d0nnivain Posted June 29, 2015 Share Posted June 29, 2015 Moving isn't going to cure her. If she had cancer, do you think moving would fix it? Of course not. The disease comes too until it is treated. In the short term, try a vacation to the east coast but hold off on the move. 4 Link to post Share on other sites
beautifulinside2 Posted June 30, 2015 Share Posted June 30, 2015 I too suffer from depression. I thank my lucky stars that I had a daughter to take care of because had that not been the case I would have made some awful decisions. Never trust a persons thoughts while being depressed. They are not in a healthy state of mind. You must be the voice of reason Link to post Share on other sites
spanz1 Posted June 30, 2015 Share Posted June 30, 2015 where are you moving from? if there are toxic friends/relatives nearby, a long move can certainly help there! If you live in an area that has terrible weather all year, and you want to see the sun during the winter...THAT can be a good cure for depression. I would be realistic though. A lot of east coast towns have living expenses FAR higher than what is in the Midwest...so make sure you both can get a job to pay for it! also things can be congested on the east coast, and if you are used to acres of open land or mountains next door...you might not like the "city" feeling at all Link to post Share on other sites
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