pskodali Posted January 19, 2015 Share Posted January 19, 2015 i am just 22. we are in love for last two years. i love her so much and she also loves me too. just a few days ago she knew that she is unable to become mom due some health problems, its confirm. even now i don't want to leave her. i really want to share my life with her. but she telling now i am not suitable for you, i am unfit, you didn't get a happy life with me, that kind of stuff. i really need her she is the one who supports me when i am in a bad phase of my life she is the who helped me to get on good track again. now she is asking why u have 2 marry me? think about Ur parents, they don't want you are childless because of me. please suggest me how to convince her to stay with me. or any other suggestions you thought. thanks in advance Link to post Share on other sites
StalwartMind Posted January 19, 2015 Share Posted January 19, 2015 There is a good chance she is suffering from some depression at moment with the recent news of her infertility. This can make her want to push away others, because she is unhappy by the fact some of her womanhood has been removed from her. I would consider to be supportive, calm and easy with her in this coming time. Life does not end, nor does it make you unqualified for someone else, because you are unable to have children yourself. Some people adopt children and most of us probably have encountered someone in our life who was adopted. It's a blessing that some people look into that option, even if they can and already do have children of their own. Whether this is something of interest to you or not, it's something to consider at least. There are people who live happy lives with no children at all too. It's entirely likely she may need some time for herself to process her thoughts, don't make anything feel rushed or pushing on her, but likewise do not hold back with being the same loving and kind person to her, that you've always been. Letting someone else see and feel the same positiveness and love they are used to, during difficult times, can often help. 2 Link to post Share on other sites
kamani Posted January 19, 2015 Share Posted January 19, 2015 I really appreciate you for being manly and still wanting her in your life. Unlike you, I'm sure many will run away from her in this kind of tragic situation. I agree with the other poster that life doesn't end here and she needs time to process her feelings. However are you sure that you don't want children of your own? Some people are so vulnerable that family, friends, relatives etc can impact about feelings of your happiness and marriage. The fact about infertility is not going to change and what you tell now at 22 should be the same as when you are 32 or later. She has already asked you to find someone else and has given you the choice. If you bring up the issue about children later in your marriage it will inflict great pain on her, may be the worst she would ever experience. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
mrs rubble Posted January 20, 2015 Share Posted January 20, 2015 Curious about her infertility? Maybe she could recieve donor eggs off a relative? Use a sarogate? Try IVF? There are other options in this day and age. As the first poster suggested, she is most likely depressed over finding this out. Give her time to adjust to the news. Be kind, understanding and gentle. Link to post Share on other sites
spanz1 Posted January 22, 2015 Share Posted January 22, 2015 just tell her you prefer a childless marriage. You did not want to be bothered with birthcontrol, and want to have fun rather than be stuck raising rug-rats. Link to post Share on other sites
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