Severly depressed

[Dazed confused]

I will get straight to the point. In August, I had a seizure. Trip to the ER by ambulance, MRI, bloodwork, CT Scan, the whole works. Everything came back normal. Referral to Neurologist. Had several seizures while waiting for my appointment with Neurologist.

 

I finally see the Neurologist, he orders a MRI again and it comes back normal. Then he orders a EEG. Guess what ? Diagnosis of Epilepsy.

 

Since then, I have been fired from my job for missing too much time from work.

My driving privileges have been taken away.

My dad was diagnosed with terminal cancer.

I just buried my favorite Aunt on Saturday.

 

All this happened within 3 months. Now my wife is very stressed because she is the sole provider. I'm depressed because I can't drive or do a lot of what I use to be able to do. I could go on and on.

 

Anybody have any advice, I sure could use some.

[eye of the storm]

Take a breath. Anyone who has taken as many hits lately as you have would be stressed. It is normal and natural. Breath.

 

Call the hospital, they have social workers who specialize in helping people like you. Support groups, counseling, and maybe job assistance.

 

Call your local unemployment place and talk to them about telecommuting jobs. and work from home jobs. Network in your church.

 

Find out the bus schedule so you are not trapped. And there may be a job near the bus line you can apply for.

 

And sit down with your wife and tell her that together, as a team, you two will make it. Discuss the budget, ways of cutting spending, etc.

 

Then just remember to keep breathing.

 

I am so sorry about your dad and your aunt.

[Quest]

Really sorry about your Dad and aunt, and all the changes you're having to deal with.

Had a period like this myself not long ago. Family illnesses and deaths, major things happening to me and those I care about, work issues ... could go on and on. It all happened in a couple of months. The thing that's helped me the most was having good friends I could talk to, and also going to counselling with a really good therapist someone recommended. They can be expensive but sometimes you can be referred through your doctor.

Is there a support group you can join for people with epilepsy? If so, join it. And make use of buses or public transport. Go to daytime activities if you're not working - ones that you can take part in despite your diagnosis. Could be something new you've never tried before - art, photography, film ... anything. Volunteer for something local. Take a job, any job, that will bring in a small amount of cash without being stressful. Eventually you'll get to a place where you can think about longer-term work options.

Someone I know who got a diagnosis of MS dealt with all the repercussions by blogging. Now his blog has lots of followers and provides help and info for other people in the same situation. It's really opened up his life again.

Really feel for you and hope you can feel better soon.

[dichotomy]

Good advise above.

 

Also I would consult with an employment laywer, your being let go maybe have been illegal under the ADA or disability laws.

[Ken Thompson]

Understand. I got hit many years ago- actually let's say decades. Started seeing a therapist- like psychiatric social worker. She listened well, stood by me, offered some ideas. Problem was, she was not qualified to handle my case. Several hospitalizations, a lot of therapy with PhD',s a number of whom referred mt to other one because they "were not qualified" to handle my case. Went thru 5 years of hell on earht. Finally, things started comeing together with very intense and constant therapy by highly trained professionals. The point being- go to a highly qualified, eduacated, and experienced therapist. The PSW was a nicew person who cared, but she could no help me- I'm sure she helped many people with a minor temporary problem.

Good luck.

And talk to your wife- does she make you feel iomportant, like you and her are together, like she supports you; she just feels stressed due to her taking responsibility, and taking responsibility only for a short period of time?

[evanescentworld]

I don't know where you are, but you may also be able to get help with the Epilepsy dog association. There are dogs which can predict a seizure. if you had such a pet, you'd be so much safer.

I'm not kidding, I promise....

[Ninjainpajamas]

Try not to let all these things bundle up into one big cancer, that compounding factor that people associate with some higher punishment unto them.

 

Things for some reason or another do happen in groups like this, I don't know why or where it comes from but try and get rid of that mentality that somethings trying to bring you down or the world is just against you and turning on you.

 

Try to adjust your perception and reduce the stress level by being unbiased and fair about what is happening. Try to cut the loose fat off what is worth worrying and stressing about and what is just a part of life.

 

Your work may require some legal action, so consult an attorney and that will take time...just let that sit if you have a case and follow their legal counseling, but it's going to be a long epic situation more than likely so that goes in the crock pot of life.

 

Find another job or something that you can do to provide an income but also keep yourself busy.

 

The fact that you can't drive is also not the end of the world either, might have to learn to take transportation and what not but the reality is a lot of people do it..you can survive that.

 

Your dad is diagnosed with terminal cancer so try and spend some more time with him...you've got no job at the moment, maybe now you have the time to spend some time with him...some real quality time. This is the normal cycle of life, you will be there one day your life, try not to add this to your stresses of life just try to make the best of the time you have with him.

 

Same thing with your Aunt...try not to see it as a loss, but a normal cycle of life and cherish the memories and time that you have had with her. Do not wallow too deeply over the fact that is gone...mourn her passing, but do not let it be a reason to feel more depressed, I'm sure she wouldn't want that.

 

A lot of things are going on, your wife is going to be under stress and pressure too...try to communicate to her more directly how you feel and what you need, she might not know what to do either, a lot of times women just need to decompress and relieve that stress within them, so make sure to spend that time communicating with her because it doesn't necessarily mean she's at her breaking point just because she's feeling everything going on too.

 

You may benefit from some medication, counseling and help...that's a lot of changes and shifts in life to go on at once, and people who are used to being active and in control of their lives to an extent...which is most people, are of course going to be hit hard when they lose that and can't do the things they've done before because of the changes.

 

But it's normal to feel all these emotions and worries based on what is happening in your life, but try to not see at as the end of the world or the end of your life as you know it...you've got to be able to see a possibility in change and deal with that adjustment, but that will likely take time.

 

I would suggest writing out your feelings and expressing yourself, if you don't have someone to talk to or share them with, it's always good to at least get those emotions out of you...so that will be important IMO at this time based on what I've been through in life.

[Mr. Lucky]

Also I would consult with an employment laywer, your being let go maybe have been illegal under the ADA or disability laws.

 

Agreed. Did you file any FMLA paperwork?

 

Mr. Lucky