Dancing_Queen12 Posted October 27, 2014 Share Posted October 27, 2014 My fiance and I are getting married in a few months. He is a Libertarian, running for office, and he is very anti-government (anti taxes, a lot of laws, etc) He says he shouldn't have to ask the state permission to get married. I agree that you shouldn't have to ask permission to get married, but I don't see it as asking permission. Getting a license is just filling out paperwork that will be filed and recorded once you get married. We're not going to go ask if we can get married, then wait a couple days for a "yes" or "no" However, he is set in this decision. I'm ok with it. Our state recognizes common law marriage and we'll still be looked at as any other married couple. He wants to make a marriage contract, basically the same thing the license would say, just we write it ourselves. Our parents and wedding planner are very against this. But like I said, there is no changing his mind. He would stay single the rest of his life before he ever got a license. They've tried swaying him by asking "well why are you ok with a driver's license?" (because he doesn't own the roads) and "why are you ok with a hunting license?" (doesn't own the animals) I've spent a lot of time looking this up online and reading information about other couples who have done this. Any thoughts? Anyone know of anybody that did this? The only thing I'd not be ok with is going to jail, although I doubt that'd happen. Link to post Share on other sites
Poppygoodwill Posted October 27, 2014 Share Posted October 27, 2014 As you say, it's all the same if your jurisdiction recognizes common law marriage in teh same way it recognizes a marriage by license. Except it will take some period - say, a year or two, whatever the law says - of living together as spouses before common law has the same legality as a license. So why are the parents and wedding planner against it? It's basically like a commitment cermony, instead of a wedding. Does it bug *you*? Maybe because you fear it shows he's not as committed as you are? Link to post Share on other sites
MuscleCarFan Posted October 27, 2014 Share Posted October 27, 2014 If you really want to be married, i hope it isn't to this guy because he sounds like a nutjob. 4 Link to post Share on other sites
Mr. Lucky Posted October 27, 2014 Share Posted October 27, 2014 They've tried swaying him by asking "well why are you ok with a driver's license?" (because he doesn't own the roads) and "why are you ok with a hunting license?" (doesn't own the animals) Does he own you ??? Assuming your wishes are to be conventionally married, why doesn't your position carry just as much weight as his? Mr. Lucky 1 Link to post Share on other sites
pink_sugar Posted October 27, 2014 Share Posted October 27, 2014 What's the point of getting "married" if it isn't legal? 4 Link to post Share on other sites
CC12 Posted October 27, 2014 Share Posted October 27, 2014 I don't really understand his reasoning or agree with his politics, but if you understand and agree, then go for it. But I think you should hire a lawyer who can help you understand any risks or drawbacks to a common-law marriage. There was one concerning issue I found through a quick google search: Rights to protecting a family residence and dividing family assets are only granted to legally married couples. A common law spouse who is the sole owner of a shared residence may sell or mortgage property without consent and without splitting proceeds. That would be a completely unacceptable situation for you to end up in. There might be other issues that would need to be addressed (How would inheritance work? What about any next-of-kin stuff with medical emergencies?) A lawyer can advise you of things that you might have never considered before. And who knows, maybe you'd be better off with a prenup since there's no marriage license. How do you think your fiance would feel about a prenup? 1 Link to post Share on other sites
d0nnivain Posted October 27, 2014 Share Posted October 27, 2014 To be recognized a common law marriage usually requires the couple to live together as husband & wife for at least 7 years before they state will acknowledge this. Check your local laws for the specifics. If you don't get a marriage license you will not be married no matter what you say or do. You will not be able to inherit without a Will; you may not be able to visit in the hospital; you won't get survivor's Social Security benefits if one of you dies; etc. Go read all the reasons why the LGBT community wants marriage equality. Even with this so called contract, one of you may simply be able to walk away, no divorce required & no alimony / equitable distribution obligations because in the eyes of the state, you aren't married. Remind your FI that he doesn't own you either . . . hence the need for the license. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Mr. Lucky Posted October 27, 2014 Share Posted October 27, 2014 Remind your FI that he doesn't own you either . . . hence the need for the license. Based on the divorce rate, it seems closer to leasing than ownership ... Mr. Lucky 1 Link to post Share on other sites
beatcuff Posted October 28, 2014 Share Posted October 28, 2014 this He says he shouldn't have to ask the state permission to get married does not reconcile with this He wants to make a marriage contract the question is why the simple standard 'fill in your name' CONTRACT a/k/a marriage license not acceptable. Link to post Share on other sites
DaisyLeigh1967 Posted October 28, 2014 Share Posted October 28, 2014 You do realize that common law does not have all of the rights as truly married people? Some but not all. And it does take time as well. Common Law Marriage | Nolo.com Does your BF have a license to drive? Does he pay taxes? Or does he just pick and choose what he is going to adhere to? 2 Link to post Share on other sites
Recommended Posts