butterflygrl Posted October 12, 2004 Share Posted October 12, 2004 i have a question to ask you all.. why is it when when ask a question it is misinterpeted as bitching or complaining.. damn all we do is ask a ? and we get our head bit off .. just don't understand.. i was just wondering what causes men to jump to conclusions like that .... Link to post Share on other sites
Naive Posted October 12, 2004 Share Posted October 12, 2004 What kind of questions are you referring to? Link to post Share on other sites
magda Posted October 13, 2004 Share Posted October 13, 2004 Because so many questions imply something or really ask more than one question. It's called a "loaded question". Asking certain "innocent" questions and then denying any ulterior motive could be considered quite passive-aggressive and would be aggravating to deal with. Link to post Share on other sites
Merin Posted October 13, 2004 Share Posted October 13, 2004 Originally posted by butterflygrl i have a question to ask you all.. why is it when when ask a question it is misinterpeted as bitching or complaining.. damn all we do is ask a ? and we get our head bit off .. just don't understand.. i was just wondering what causes men to jump to conclusions like that .... Could be it isn't really What you said or asked... it was the tone of voice and facial expressions and body language(eye rolling set jaw, p!ssed off look hands clenched) that makes what you may percieve to be an innocent question to be bitching in your guys mind. You can ask a simple question, (any question) in a "snotty" or derogatory way... watch your tone, and body language when you're talking to your guy.. may give you some clues to what he is percieving. Good Luck Link to post Share on other sites
The_Analyzer Posted October 13, 2004 Share Posted October 13, 2004 I have to agree with the others on this one. It may be the way you're asking the question. Maybe you don't realize it. Sometimes its not what we say but how we say it. I know this may sound corny but heres something to try. Practice in the mirror your facial expressions and tone. Ask a question that you may be asking to someone else, and see how you come across when asking. When you get the desired look and tone then maybe try presenting the question the way you practiced it. Good luck. Just my 2 cents! Link to post Share on other sites
moimeme Posted October 14, 2004 Share Posted October 14, 2004 I don't agree. Some folks are hypersensitive to anything they perceive as criticism - so that even questions are inferred to be criticism. Link to post Share on other sites
magda Posted October 14, 2004 Share Posted October 14, 2004 Originally posted by moimeme I don't agree. Some folks are hypersensitive to anything they perceive as criticism - so that even questions are inferred to be criticism. I dunno, moi, the poster did generalize saying "i was just wondering what causes men to jump to conclusions like that ...." If it was just a couple people it happens with then that'd be different, I think, but if most all men she's asking questions to are reacting badly then it's time to look in the mirror. Link to post Share on other sites
butterflygrl Posted October 15, 2004 Share Posted October 15, 2004 first of all it isnt many men i am asking ? it is my husband .. let me clarify that !! and as for the way i asking can't be the problem because i was on the phone!!! my hands or the look i gave had nothing to do with it !!! i want to thank all for the replys but i feel i am being misinterrupted Link to post Share on other sites
muse(unloveheart) Posted October 15, 2004 Share Posted October 15, 2004 It dont matter what i say or how i ask its still wrong. I still get yelled and and told i dont trust him. Well when he gives no other reason but to not trust then that is all i can do. and the proff is all right in front of you but still says he is not doing anything wrong. I dont care a lie is a lie NO matter what color or how big it is. and betrayal is sheating NO matter how big or small. in person or phone and even over the computer its all being untrue. Link to post Share on other sites
The_Analyzer Posted October 15, 2004 Share Posted October 15, 2004 lilmoma, When you ask your husband a question is he always thinking you're "bitching" or "nagging?" I see it like this, it is one of two things then, either he is sensitive to what you're asking, or its the way you come across as far as asking a question. Is it a certain question that you're asking that maybe triggers him to consider it to be "bitching or nagging?" Or is he like that with any type of question you ask? Just wondering. Link to post Share on other sites
moimeme Posted October 15, 2004 Share Posted October 15, 2004 Honestly, there are folks who do have a problem with understanding other's expressions and voice tones and they get upset when they should not about perceived insults. And it sounds like we have two such ladies right there. You have to try to have a calm discussion with them sometime when you're not in the middle of a fight. Try to uncover the reason for the misinterpretation of your expression or voice - ask what tone or 'face' they interpret to be critical and see if you can work together on sorting out the misunderstanding. Link to post Share on other sites
muse(unloveheart) Posted October 15, 2004 Share Posted October 15, 2004 i have done that i have tried to talk to him in a calm tone and ask simple questions on things and i get the third digree. its non of my biz or your dont understand, well then help me to understand why i ask. he just dont answer or says its just because. i dont dare say that if he asks a question. if i say oh just a firend or dont wrroy about it or non of your ibz its well if you feel that way about it then just pack your stuff up , i see things are not going to work out here and leave. then what do you do. i am the one to always say i am wrong even when im not just to keep out of a fight. then i feel like crap. beth Link to post Share on other sites
Recommended Posts