calliec Posted December 30, 2013 Share Posted December 30, 2013 i would love to know your thoughts on this. my husband and i went to a friends house and he and his wife got quite aminated sexually, putting porn on, showing all their sex toys etc. we were all drunk (we are all in our 40s) and my husband tried to lead the wife upstairs. i was the only prude in the room but laughed it off. luckily nothing happened (especially for my young family as i dont think i would have come back from that), and my husband said he was just very drunk (although he has cheated on me before...I caught him kissing a girl). he said he tried to lead the wife upstairs to leave me alone with the husband...and do me a favour! we saw this couple again at christmas, and they had bought us gifts...with sex toys hidden inside. we tried the sex toy and it was fun. things have been really good between us, sexually and emotionally until today. shopping in the sale i saw an ann summers. i have never been in one before but went in and bought a vibrator - not a penis shaped one though...just one we could use together. i almost skipped out of there, happy that we were comfortable anough after 11 years to do this kind of thing. my husband has flipped. he is sulking around, angry and keeps saying he is "so disappointed". I feel truely crushed, and we have had some serious ups and downs but i am not sure how much more i can take from someone who seems happy one moment, angry the next. why was it fine and now its not? he wont talk but says he doesnt know me and just just shuts down and closes me out leaving a mountain to climb to try and break down all the barriers he creates yet again. what should i do? Link to post Share on other sites
d0nnivain Posted December 30, 2013 Share Posted December 30, 2013 That's crazy. He was practically trying a spouse swapping / open marriage thing. You two used & enjoyed your present but now that you bought something he's bonkers? You need to get him to calm down & explain his change in heart to you. Maybe he was afraid somebody besides your kinky friends saw you in "that kind of store." Link to post Share on other sites
Arieswoman Posted December 30, 2013 Share Posted December 30, 2013 I am getting a bad feeling about this. If you don't want to get pulled into what sounds like "wife-swapping" or something else dodgy, I suggest you stay away from this couple. Or at least stay sober when you get near them. Your husband needs to explain his behaviour. Link to post Share on other sites
Silly_Girl Posted December 30, 2013 Share Posted December 30, 2013 I confess I don't understand. Why is he disappointed? Why is he 'crushed'? Has he asked you why you bought the toy? Have you two discussed where you intend to take the relationship with your friends? There's a lot of communication needed here, and you may like to take the opportunity to be frank about your own boundaries. Link to post Share on other sites
Mr. Lucky Posted December 30, 2013 Share Posted December 30, 2013 I confess I don't understand. Why is he disappointed? Why is he 'crushed'? Has he asked you why you bought the toy? Have you two discussed where you intend to take the relationship with your friends? There's a lot of communication needed here, and you may like to take the opportunity to be frank about your own boundaries. Agreed. Things went from "skipping" to "crushed" with no transition in between? Mr. Lucky Link to post Share on other sites
dichotomy Posted December 30, 2013 Share Posted December 30, 2013 I don't get it. You got sex toys as a gift - ummm what kind were these? Then you picked up a vibrator not even penis type and he gets upset? Is he scared of a vibrator replacing him? Or that you did it without him involved? I mean if maybe you picked up some 10 inch black...well you know.... Ya .....I don't get it - other than he helped open you up and now he is scared of what he got going in you? You are empowered now and he is worried....Poor guy. Link to post Share on other sites
crederer Posted December 31, 2013 Share Posted December 31, 2013 I confess I don't understand. Why is he disappointed? Why is he 'crushed'? Has he asked you why you bought the toy? Have you two discussed where you intend to take the relationship with your friends? There's a lot of communication needed here, and you may like to take the opportunity to be frank about your own boundaries. I'm sure he's disappointed cause it hurt his ego that she got a sex toy instead of just using his beloved penis. Guy's gotta understand, an assist is worth as many points as a goal. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Arieswoman Posted December 31, 2013 Share Posted December 31, 2013 crederer, you said Guy's gotta understand, an assist is worth as many points as a goal. that's smart - love it ! 1 Link to post Share on other sites
TaraMaiden Posted December 31, 2013 Share Posted December 31, 2013 Start using it on yourself, and enjoy it. no point wasting money than not having fun. If you use it with him, it might get him going. if not, he's seriously confused in his own mind, and that's honestly his problem, not yours. Until he can vocalise wtf is going on in his head, that's where the problem really is. 2 Link to post Share on other sites
crederer Posted January 1, 2014 Share Posted January 1, 2014 crederer, you said that's smart - love it ! haha I realized only people that watch hockey would get that reference. But I firmly believe it. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
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