How long did it take you to find your husband/wife and how'd you meet?

[aal763]

I'm just curious to hear from those of you that are married, how many different girlfriends/boyfriends did you have before you found the one you married? Also, how'd you meet? I've just been going through a hard time with girls and would like to hear some stories that will reassure me that there is another woman out there waiting for me.

 

Best Regards,

Robert

[Krytie TV]

I would have to guess that my wife is probably my 10th relationship or so and I'm 38. We met at work. She was a same shift co-worker and then was elevated to supervisor on a different shift. I courted her for a year (part-time... not fatal attraction style) before I was able to get her to go out with me. She was convinced before we went out that I was totally not her type, but after going out that fateful night (I actually randomly asked her to come out for a drink after her shift after a date for that night had canceled on me), it quickly became evident that she was everything I had been waiting for that 34 years. She may just say something similar

[pink_sugar]

My husband was actually my first and I actually wasn't looking to be with anyone, it just kind of happened. I met him at my first job when I was 16.

[Ninja'sHusband]

I had one serious GF in highschool (4 months ). She ditched me because I got too serious and she knew she would eventually move on and want to play the field. I decided to not date anymore until college. Took me almost all of the first semester of college to find the girl I married. We dated for 4 years, married for 14, we have a 9 year old daughter. We are separating and possibly divorcing due to my wife's recent infidelity ='(

[jwi71]

Yikes.

 

Let's see...I amassed quite the list of partners before I met my first W.

I would imagine I had maybe three or long term GFs and many many lovers.

 

After my D (W cheated), I had a few lovers and one GF.

Currently engaged and to be M next month (not to same GF I mention above)

 

So, I guess I've had maybe 6 long term R's and well into double-digit lovers.

 

In all honesty, it doesn't matter how many partners/GF's one has previously. And there is no way that one can predict if a lover becomes a GF who becomes a W.

 

Concentrate on today and let tomorrow arrive.

[beenburned]

I don't believe there is just one person for us. I think there are just different degrees of compatibility.(some more than others)

 

Think of all the people whose spouses have died, some go on to have equally happy second marriages.(sometimes even more children)

 

I dated many people, but there were only 3 that I would have considered good marriage material. All 3 of these men proposed marriage to me. I choose 1 of these 3 to marry. But I really think I could have been happy with any of them.

 

Nobody's perfect, there will be things you like and dislike about everyone.

But you will have stronger chemistry with some over others.

[Bellechica]

I dated ten to twelve different men before I met my H. I met him going to a concert with a group of friends. I was another man's date, our first, but we weren't hitting it off. I started hanging out at the concert with my now H. He was/is so introverted and polite. I remember looking into his eyes. They were/are the sweetest, kindest eyes I've ever seen. We had an obvious attraction to each other, but after the concert ended, I thought it might be the last I would see of him. I hadn't given him my number, but he tracked me down and called me the next day. It turns out our families had known each other for ages, but because my parents and I lived in another state, our paths had never crossed.

He immediately had my parent's approval to date and his parents agreed. We dated long distance for two years and one more during our engagement. He was my fifth proposal, but the only one I considered. I thought and still think he is so handsome and gentle.

I believe there are more than one match for each person in life, but when it clicks, it clicks.

We have been together almost twenty years and drifted apart, but we are working on getting "us" back.

Edited May 16, 2012 by Bellechica

[scaredandalone1223]

I dated less than 5 people, and only one of those would I consider a "relationship". The guy I was dating befriend a roommate of my, now, husband and we went to their house to hang out a few times. No one really liked the guy I was dating, so when we broke up they asked me to still come around and let my ex know he wasn't really welcome. Superbowl Sunday, about 6 months later, a group of us we all there hanging out. My current husband, who I hadn't really gotten to know very well at that point, was the only one inside watching the game, so I sat down to watch it with him. When I made the statement "Why would they call a draw play there, stupid move".....he knew immediately I was THE ONE!! We've watched every Super Bowl together since -- all 16 of them! We'll celebrate our 15th marriage anniversary this year!

[Ursa]

I've lost track of the number of people I've dated because it's not something I cared to keep a tally of. I did a lot of traveling, met a lot of attractive & interesting people, and dating was fun and casual. A subset of those dates turned into romantic/sexual lovers, and in turn a subset of those turned into meaningful, long-term relationships.

 

I'd say I've had maybe ten relationships of some serious import, that lasted at least six months or more (3 different relationships of two years each). I made some youthful mistakes. I've had my heart broken, I've broken a few hearts myself, and learned a lot about my relationship dynamics. I was engaged once in my early 20s, but called it off because I realized I wasn't ready and it wasn't right. I've lived with three serious loves--two of those relationships ended, and one became my husband. We're very happily married and have children together.

 

My husband, in his turn, also had several relationships, a couple of exes he had lived with for a few years.

 

We were both in our 30s when we married, first marriage for both of us. We'd each had some meaningful loves, but nothing that was quite right for marriage until we met each other.

[Radagast]

It took me many decades and one long toxic marriage to meet a woman I could really love and respect and would look forward to spending the rest of my life with.

[Rainbowsofhope]

So maybe it's not the best advice

 

28, female

Edited July 14, 2012 by Rainbowsofhope

[frozensprouts]

I had a few boyfriends ( not going to get int that here, but a few were really bad relationships)

 

I met my husband when i went for my second degree...

 

Not to sound vain, but i used to be considered pretty attractive back then ( oh how times have changed:laugh:), and he used to sit behind me in class, and wnated to talk to me but felt too nervous

 

one night, i went out to a pub with a friend, and we were sitting i a both ad two guys were trying to talk to us ( one of whom was going on and on about he Alexander Keith tattoo he had:laugh:)...my now husband came over and "rescued"me, and we left and spent the night talking over coffee at a Tim Hortons ( we were both broke students back then)...he dropped me off at my residence and I found out how to get a hold of him and invited him to a party..we've been together ever since ( that was 17 years ago)...

[youdunsay]

I love to see more posts on this thread

[datura_noir]

Well....

We "dated" when I was 15 and he was 18. My mother found out and called the cops. He was my "first":love:. A few years after he was with me, he had a brief relationship and had a child with my first cousin, (I did not find out she was my cousin until years later), so his first born son is my second cousin.

 

He married another woman and had 2 kids, I moved 1200 miles away and married and had 4 kids. We both divorced/separated prior to meeting, and I met him again on a fluke-my uncle was at the local club to give me pics of my Dad, and he was there. We've been together since.(1998.)

We had a bout of infidelity on his part, but decided we were meant to be and moved on.

I love being a part of his great family, and he does mine, so life goes on!

[KungFuJoe]

Everytime I start typing, I end up with a book. There is no real short way to explain how my wife and I met. It's a story we tell every new friend we make or anyone who happens to ask. A few paragraphs will never do it justice because there's no short way to describe all the emotions that we were going through at various times of our lives. But...I'll give it my best shot.

 

We went to the same high school. I was in love with her when I first laid eyes on her but I thought she was out of my league. We were in different circles...me being the shy, quiet guy with just a few close friends and her being the popular, nice girl that everyone liked (along with being the prettiest girl in school in my opinion). I spoke to her 4 times when we'd pass by accident. I never got her name and the only reason I even had a chance to speak to her was because her boyfriend and I were both on the basketball team. I still remember those few chance encounters like they happened yesterday. I used to dream about her even after I graduated and I never forgot her.

 

4 years pass by and I bump into her by chance and LOT of luck. We end going out to a club that same night with my friends, one of which was also a friend of hers in high school. We dance all night, get pretty drunk, and she starts kissing me on the dance floor. I'm taken completely by surprise and she's drunk so I immediately stop her and attempt to sober her up. But, she's pretty persistent and I just can't hold back any longer and I give in to her. We end up in my car that night until the sun came up the next morning. I confess my crush on her and she, to my surprise, confesses the same back to me and how she never stopped thinking about me, even after she got married and had a child (she was separated at that time). This is where the story SHOULD say "and we lived happily ever after" but that wasn't the grand plan. I had a gf at that time (which she knew about before we even went out that night). Yes, I was weak, pathetic and a whole bunch of other negative adjectives...but my relationship, nearing the end of the 4th year, was horrible and only comfort and not wanting to start over kept us together. And it was the only time I had ever cheated on her, if that means anything. AND she was literally my dream girl that I never, ever stopped thinking about even after all those years. But, I tried to do the right thing and stay with my gf so even though it hurt me to say it I told her that I wouldn't leave my gf and that we would just have that one night together. Plus, I was a little mad at her for "making" me cheat. She was very upset but understood. We kept in minimal contact for a little after, but eventually she wanted nothing to do with me. I broke up with my gf shortly after (which I should have done a long time ago before I screwed up). I did try to make something happen with her afterwards but by then she wanted nothing to do with me and who could blame her.

 

3 more years pass by and I'm literally two weeks broken off from a gf of one year and I end up bumping into the girl from high school through a mutual friend. We all go out to a bar that night and, of course, she doesn't even say anything outside of "Hi" to me all night. But, we start drinking, walls start coming down, I sit down next to her and we start talking. We end up out on the dance floor, and before I know what's happening, she's kissing me again. We end up back at my place and she spends the night.

 

Now THIS is where the story is supposed to lead into "and we lived happily ever after.", right? Well....almost. There were still some very hard feelings and mixed emotions over what had happened between us before. We started out VERY rocky and we almost didn't make it. But, we always had this connection between us. That special something that we had nearly 8 years prior in high school never died, even though we barely knew each other, even after all those years. I know it sounds sappy, but I do believe in love at first sight and so did she, because we both felt it. Felt it even though we were involved with other people at various times. Because we somehow kept finding each other again, and because we beat all the odds and today, TWENTY years after high school, we now have a 10 year marriage, 2 more children, and a love between us that, quite literally, is the envy of all our friends. And we still love to look back on the good times of our "old days"...which I usually chime in with, "Hey, remember when you were a sophomore in high school and you had that huge crush on me because I was a senior?"

 

And that's pretty much our story, but to be honest, I've left a WHOLE lot of stuff out of it and it runs much deeper than what I've explained, but for the sake of whoever is reading this, I'll spare those details.

 

Oh...and now we are living happily ever after.

[Serendipitous_Love]

I met my husband through work. I started working there in 2003 (I have since left). He had already been working there. He was married at the time and I was engaged. We remained coworkers with the casual encounter over the years. then in 2010 I decided to leave my X because he cheated, he was verbally abusive, etc. (He had already divorced his X, she cheated). He is 16 years my senior but we started flirting and one thing led to another and here we are. I feel like I have known him my whole life, we get along great. An occasional disagreement here and there but nothing compared to the 11 year hell I endured with my X.

 

Bottom line, there IS someone out there for you. It will come to you when you least expect it.

 

Good Luck!

[sunshinegirl]

My husband and I were set up by mutual friends three years ago. I was 35 when we met; he was 37. I had had four serious relationships before him; he had had two major heartbreaks and many less serious relationships before me.

 

We have been married almost 2 years and have a 3 month old son. I didn't think it would take me so long to find my life's mate but it was worth the wait.

[KathyM]

I started dating at 14, had two long term bfs, one at 17 and one at 18. Met my husband when 18 by having a blind date set up by my sister's bf. (He worked with my sister's bf). Been married to the same guy ever since.