Waitress Posted February 13, 2011 Share Posted February 13, 2011 I think it is unrealistic to think that everybody stays in love with one person their whole life. Sometimes people grow apart and sometimes one of the couple falls for someone else. So, what is an honorable thing to do if you do fall in love with someone else? Can you help it if you fall in love and is it a symptom of a problem in the marriage or totally separate? And what if you take your marriage vows seriously. Is it even fair to stay in the marriage. I'm really curious for some responses. Link to post Share on other sites
whichwayisup Posted February 13, 2011 Share Posted February 13, 2011 You make a choice. Letting yourself fall in love with someone else can be prevented in the long run. It's one thing to meet someone new, and have a connection with them, it happens! The key is, knowing that you made a committment to someone else and not put yourself in a situation (meaning, continuing contact with the new person and allowing feelings to grow) where you DO have to choose between two people. Love isn't just a feeling, it's an action. But, if one falls out of love with their partner and has fallen for someone else, the fairest thing to do is end it with the current partner first. Not to stay and cheat.."Try out" the other person to see if how it goes, then decide whether or not it's worth ending the current relationship. Link to post Share on other sites
Author Waitress Posted February 13, 2011 Author Share Posted February 13, 2011 whichwayisup - That's a really good response! Thanks. Link to post Share on other sites
Eeyore79 Posted February 13, 2011 Share Posted February 13, 2011 If you fall in love with someone else, the question is whether you still love your partner. If you do, it's probably better to stay with your partner, work on your relationship and let the new person go. If you no longer love your partner, then you should respect your partner enough not to cheat, and should leave the relationship to be with the new person. However I think it's perfectly possible to remain in love with your partner forever and never fall for anyone else. If you make an effort to have a loving relationship with your partner, and also make an effort to avoid situations in which you might develop feelings for someone else (i.e. nip any attraction in the bud), then I think your love could be expected to last. Link to post Share on other sites
Macaw Posted February 14, 2011 Share Posted February 14, 2011 Being madly attracted to someone else doesn't mean you love them. Feeling chemistry or an emotional connection to someone else doesn't mean you love them either. Ask yourself this question: If your "new love" were to suffer a terrible accident tomorrow and lose control of all their limbs - would you feed, clean and care for them daily, or would you just get someone else (like a nurse) to do it and move on with your life? If your answer is the latter, then you're just high on hormones and don't love them. You should stick by your marriage vows then even if you are crazy about the new person. Chances are you'd get bored of them just as quickly, if not quicker, when the attraction flames went out. Link to post Share on other sites
greengoddess Posted February 14, 2011 Share Posted February 14, 2011 whichwayisup - That's a really good response! Thanks. I agree. Perfect response. I just wanted to add waitress, if it is too late and you made the mistake of allowing yourself to fall for someone else you need to tell your spouse. You need to be honorable about it not sneak around to see how it plays out. Link to post Share on other sites
Eeyore79 Posted February 15, 2011 Share Posted February 15, 2011 Being madly attracted to someone else doesn't mean you love them. Feeling chemistry or an emotional connection to someone else doesn't mean you love them either. Ask yourself this question: If your "new love" were to suffer a terrible accident tomorrow and lose control of all their limbs - would you feed, clean and care for them daily, or would you just get someone else (like a nurse) to do it and move on with your life? I really like this response. Since I've been dating my bf, I've encountered other attractive and eligible men but haven't pursued anything, and the response above is a perfect explanation of why. I truly love my bf, and if he had an accident and ended up in a wheelchair or something I would stand by him and take care of him. The other guys were merely eye candy who just happened to be passing by, and I wouldn't be prepared to take care of them or make any sacrifices for them. There is an immense difference between true love and mere attraction. Link to post Share on other sites
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