Parenting Each Other?

[BlackLovely]

Is it normal for a married couple to parent each other at times?

I'm asking because my fiance and I take a parental tone with each other every so often. We will remind each other to go to the doctor, get enough sleep and eat our vegetables. I know it sounds a bit wacky, that's why I'm posting.

Any thoughts or advice?

[Iconoclast]

Sounds pretty normal to me. What's wacky about it?

[Eeyore79]

Sounds normal to me too. A couple should take care of each other

[whichwayisup]

What's the tone? And intention? When you do it to him are you doing it from a nagging, controlling way or genuine, loving, concern and care? Nit picking and telling eachother what to do is one thing, but gentle reminders and being considerate is another.

 

And, what's his tone towards you?

[BellaBellaBella]

I just told my husband he needed a physical tonight, as I was concerned about him. I think if you care about someone you don't go wacky about it, but you do want them to be healthy.

 

Bella

[Feelin Frisky]

Looking out for each other: good.

 

Yelling at each other to shut up and go to sleep: not so good.

 

Hi B.

[Silly_Girl]

Think it depends on the tone. If that is the only way you can deal with serious issues, then perhaps there's something a little awry.

 

It could become like nagging, or a sign that one doesn't trust/respect the other....

 

If it's not concerning, it's lovely. I am like it with my 2 best friends too; 'you're not feeling better - do you think you ought to get along the doctors?', followed up with a call to check they went and see how they are

[Simon Attwood]

I think it depends upon the motive;

 

it can be done out of concern, care and empathy, but it can also be controlling. it's usually quite easy to discern between the 2, but if a persons emotional regulators are not up to scratch, then they will often see the former, as the latter.

[threebyfate]

Good:

 

"Sweetheart, you've been working so hard lately and are exhausted. Don't you think it's time to get a good night's sleep? I'll tuck you in. ;)"

 

Not good:

 

"Get some sleep. You won't be any good tomorrow."

 

Or

 

"Gawd you've been such an arse lately. Go get some sleep."

 

The worst:

 

"Nag, nag, nag, nag, nag" which translates to "blah, blah, blah, blah".

[BlackLovely]

What's the tone? And intention? When you do it to him are you doing it from a nagging, controlling way or genuine, loving, concern and care? Nit picking and telling eachother what to do is one thing, but gentle reminders and being considerate is another.

 

And, what's his tone towards you?

Our tone is caring and funny, yet serious. One example would be the other day when I was leaving the table without finishing my broccoli. He said,"Hey, them veggies ain't gonna eat themselves little lady!" This was in a silly, honky tonk accent.

 

I laughed and imitated my one year old niece, replying "No want dis!" and throwing a piece at my man. I then ate the damn broccoli.

 

I will admit that I nag sometimes, but only after many jokes/reminders about the same thing. He hasn't been to the eye doctor, even though he has been telling me he's going for MONTHS now. In fact, he was supposed to go this weekend and still has not set foot in the office. Today, I will tell him that I'd rather not be married to a blind man. We will then have a discussion about passive aggression.