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After 33 years of marriage, they divorce


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Old 2nd December 2009, 3:21 PM   #1
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Question After 33 years of marriage, they divorce

I have a female friend of mine whose mom and dad just divorced...yeah, an adult child (wonder if that has much of affect on adult children, as opposed to young children, but that's another thread)

Apparently, what I found out from her, the main reason they divorced is that they don't have any interests in common.

He likes the outdoors and his hobbies, and she's more of into the indoor activities.

What doesn't make sense tom e is...after 33 years, they should've known that??
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Old 2nd December 2009, 3:32 PM   #2
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they might not have wanted to address the obvious, but ignore it in hopes that things would "work out"
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Old 2nd December 2009, 3:32 PM   #3
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That seems like a silly reason to divorce.

I think in those cases the couple didn't put their marriage first. They made the kids the priority and when the kids left they have nothing else in common.
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Old 2nd December 2009, 3:33 PM   #4
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After that many years - Many things could have caused the divorce. BUT, parents choose to tell their children & others that feel it's their business to KNOW what happened...... "We grew apart" "We have no interests in common" - Which may be true - but it's a generic answer to give people without having to go into the multitude of details that may be behind the REAL reason. (Which technically is between the married couple - & no one else - No, not even their children)
Many people out there are of the belief that as long as they stay with their spouse while the children are small, their grown children won't mind at all if they split up. NOT TRUE! It is NO easier telling a small child as opposed to telling a grown child that their parents are splitting up. Many grown children also take their parents divorces hard.
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Old 2nd December 2009, 3:36 PM   #5
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Quote:
He likes the outdoors and his hobbies, and she's more of into the indoor activities.
From my experience with my age group, dominated by empty-nesters, this is the ideal situation, especially once the man retires. Most women would kill for a guy who gets out of their hair

So, unless they're extremely atypical, this is not the real reason, but rather a perhaps socially appropriate one.
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Old 4th December 2009, 11:08 AM   #6
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Quote:
Originally Posted by b52s View Post
I have a female friend of mine whose mom and dad just divorced...yeah, an adult child (wonder if that has much of affect on adult children, as opposed to young children, but that's another thread)

Apparently, what I found out from her, the main reason they divorced is that they don't have any interests in common.

He likes the outdoors and his hobbies, and she's more of into the indoor activities.

What doesn't make sense tom e is...after 33 years, they should've known that??
I'm pretty sure that in these 33 years, there have been several moments when one of the two wanted to get out of the marriage. I actually think that a lot of the WS who end an A to work on their M, will eventually divorce. It is very difficult to end a longer M and people stay because of the kids, because it has become a habit, because they have been together for so long. Then there comes a moment I think that they really realize that "life ain't no dress rehearsal" and that if they really want to be happy, ending their M might be the solution.
You don't know how these 33 years have been, only they know.
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Old 4th December 2009, 12:57 PM   #7
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Sadly, I have more than one set of friends in this position. From what I've been told over the years people grow and change and they often don't change in the same direction.In a low conflict marriage, many folks chose to stay together till the children have finished their educations and are well launched into adulthood.

My friends that are divorcing get on fairly well as friends, there are no big ugly divorces, no shocking revelations, just the quiet acknowledgment that they don't wish to spend their retirement years together. They mutually decide to part and reclaim their lives.
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