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When should you think about moving?

Long-Distance Relationships Coping with geographical distance can make or break a LDR. Share your experiences and questions here.

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Old 14th February 2018, 5:26 PM   #1
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When should you think about moving?

My LDR partner and I live a 2-hour flight apart. We have been together for 1.5 years and are speaking about me relocating; I am leaving my job for other reasons and am thinking of using it as an opportunity to find work near where he is. However a couple of factors come into light here and one is that he doesn’t seem to miss me as much as I miss him when we are apart. He has a massive circle of friends where he is and I don’t have much of a social life where I am; most of my friends have moved away over the years. This is another reason i am thinking of trying out a new life where he is.

However I am not too fond of his town and am thus thinking of moving to a town that is closer to him but which I am fond of. He knows I don’t intend on moving to his town and that’s why he has been holding back on buying an apartment there and has been renting instead; he is not sure about settling there long term if I am not there. But it is difficult for him to move since his job is based mainly in his town, also his whole family are nearby, so along with his friends he has a very full life there.

If I do move to the neighbouring town, it’ll still be a 2-hour drive away from him but I guess that’s better than a 2-hour flight. Also my plan is to only move temporarily, because I don’t want to be too far from my family- I did it a few years ago to study a course somewhere else and got homesick, so I want to try it for a few months first with a temporary job and then see how I feel.

Does anyone want to offer any advice on this? This is my first LDR, I would appreciate any thoughts. Many thanks.

Last edited by babybrowns; 14th February 2018 at 5:36 PM..
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Old 14th February 2018, 6:22 PM   #2
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I have two items, that I'd like to suggest.

(1) Month to Month lease on your new place. Some landlords may offer a month to month option on the lease (at a premium).

(2) Have some money set aside in a separate bank account (savings). This will be your Plan B, money. If something goes wrong and you want to move out of that town (for whatever reason), you'll have those "Plan B" funds to get you out of there.

Other than that, go for it and good luck!!

Personally, I really enjoy moving to a new city. New things to explore, new sights, new foods, new everything. YEA!!
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Old 14th February 2018, 8:52 PM   #3
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Has this ever been a conventional dating situation or was it always long distance?

A number of factors have to come in to play:

1). employment which you are thinking about

2). desirability of location Do you otherwise want to live there if your LDR partner never existed? If not, how would you feel about living there & presumably far away from your family if you two broke up?

3). logistics -- do not move in together initially. Date conventionally from separate locations initially.

I wouldn't move then look for a job. I'd job search from where you are but put 2 addresses on your resume (his as your "local address" & your real address). That helps with computer algorithms.
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