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Doubts


Long-Distance Relationships Coping with geographical distance can make or break a LDR. Share your experiences and questions here.

Old 16th December 2017, 8:39 PM   #1
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Doubts

Hello all, this is my first post and i'm not an english native so forgive me if i don't explain certain things well.

Right now i'm 10 months in a long distance relationship with my korean girlfriend. Myself, i'm Dutch. This is also my first relationship.
At first i think everyone feels what i felt which is the new vibes of a relationship. By now i think that "spark" has faded and the relationship feels a bit dull.
My girlfriend is really great, so caring, loyal, pretty and i can have really great serious talks with her.
The problem is though (like i said) the dullness in the relationship. She is normally a very serious person and i am a guy who likes joking around sometimes.
Although we both share the same values which is caring, loyal, no drinking/partying and having good conversations. Sometimes we have an argument about culture or something else and usually we solve that the same day or the day after.

Right now i just have a lot of doubts because she doesn't really understand my humor and our talks are always serious. By now i stopped making jokes because i don't get much response anyways.
She says she understands the joke and finds it funny but i don't see much response/laughter if at all. She says it will be better if i'm close.
I will also visit her next friday for a week which makes me really anxious because it's a really long flight and it will be my first flight ever.
It will be our first meeting also which brings a lot of doubts i think. But i will do it, for her, for us. After my visit to her she will come here for 6 months.
At first that would be our first meeting but i did not want that since it would be really bad for her and me if we don't work out.

Our relationship these days is just decent i guess. She has exam and study in korea is very important and intense. So these days i just try to support her as much as i can.
She doesn't express too much and we don't call much. I think it would be a lot better if we called again. She always makes me feel comfortable and i can really share all with her.
Just the spark fades away and the relationship is a little dull. So my attraction for her also fades a little since i don't speak/hear her a lot.

The fact that the spark fades, my attraction fades, my first relationship and our first meeting makes me have some doubts about how we will be when close.
I guess i will only find out when i'm there but i just got to this forum to get comforted a little maybe. I hope you can give me some advise and your opinion on this all.
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Old 16th December 2017, 10:45 PM   #2
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I'm going to be blunt. You don't have a relationship. You've never met. There's an essential ingredient that you can't measure without meeting - chemistry.

I find your reluctance to meet her puzzling in the extreme. If it were me, and I was emotionally invested in someone I'd never met for 10 months, I'd be desperate to do it. What's the point in a relationship with someone you've never met and are reluctant to meet?

The bottom line is, with a flight coming up, there is little point in questioning any of these things. You've come this far, so go and meet her, then decide how you feel afterwards. Things will become a lot clearer, and you'll be in a much better position to seek guidance on these forums once you're in possession of the facts.

Last edited by sdraw108; 16th December 2017 at 10:48 PM..
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