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Her Ex still has a hold on her


Long-Distance Relationships Coping with geographical distance can make or break a LDR. Share your experiences and questions here.

Old 8th January 2017, 10:43 AM   #1
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Her Ex still has a hold on her

I have been dating this girl i met online for 8months now. I live in Texas while she lives in Louisiana. She is a divorced single mom with a 7 years old boy from her previous marriage. She told me she divorced her husband because he was cheating and consequently got another girl pregnant. I have had an unsuccessful distant relationship in the past and as such vowed not to engage in it anymore but I found myself in love with this lady after some good conversations over the phone. Soon I decided to start visiting her, making a journey of 5 hours twice every month to see her. While I thought everything was ok, I proposed to her in December. Soon after that I found out some hidden facts. The first being that Her 7 years old boy hates me, he's got this attitude with me over time but I got fed up and decided to talk to him about it and shockingly he told me he doesn't want me around. I told my fiancee about this but she only saw it as a 7 years old boy's world against a 34years old guy. After I insisted, she decided to talk to him about it and funny enough, he told her he wants his dad and mom to get back together and he sees me as the guy opposing that. At this point I knew it wasn't something I did to upset him.
The second hidden fact is that my fiancee's ex-husband still got a hold on her, He knows how much she wants the boy to be with his father and her ex and his girlfriend use that as a leverage on my fiancee. Usually she will call me up on the phone and scream in anger of how they talked to her, this has been on since I met her and it usually ended up affecting her mode most times resulting into us arguing because she thinks i'm not been supportive enough.
I'm not the drama type, I was raised in a polygamous family with too many contention and I do not want anything close to that for myself as a family. Should I ignore these issues and go ahead with the relationship? I have tried to talk to her about these issues and on the need to set a clear boundary, I fear things might get more complicated when I move over to Louisiana as we are planning. But she's always angry about it claiming I'm not been supportive enough.
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Old 9th January 2017, 1:42 AM   #2
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Dude seriously.....you are walking into a hot mess. You think it's bad now, just wait till you are living together and exposed to it daily....you can't just hang up the phone, you have to go to bed with her every night. As for the son, that too is something that shouldn't be ignored. You marry, you marry into her family, and if he kid hates you, life will be even more disruptive. The arguing will be out of control.

You'd be crazy to uproot your life to be a part of that dysfunction.....Do you really need me or anyone to tell you that????
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