He is considering marriage. How do I know he is serious?

[Ckathk]

I am 27. He is 28. We met from online dating and we have been dating for two years and three months, with almost one year of long distance.

 

I'm in Asia and he is in North America. When he wakes up, I get off work and we FaceTime whenever we can during that time frame. Weekend would be easier but basically try to "see" each other everyday. We text throughout the day even the other person is asleep. We visited each other twice (he came to Asia and then I went to North America) in the past 11 months.

 

I have a good job with a promising career path and he just graduated from grad school and looking for jobs. I have jealousy issues and he likes to flirt sometime. He is also friends with a girl who he slept with before. They are in the same city, meet up from time to time, usually not alone. Other than that and both of us aren't making a lot of money, our relationship is pretty stable.

 

Recently, he mentioned he is considering marriage and wants to have a long visit to Asia to meet my family during the holiday seasons (maybe a month). Pretty much like coming during Christmas time and meet everyone. In his words, he knows this won't be easy because of the cultural differences but want to see if it's gonna work. It all sounds good but we are not sure if he is actually coming because of the pending job interviews.

 

He said a lot of things before but didn't end up doing it. I'm afraid that this is a false hope too. What do you guys think? How should I handle it?

[justwhoiam]

He said a lot of things before but didn't end up doing it.

Like what? Examples? In my experience, guys happen to say things they know will make us happy and then can't keep up with them, for whatever reason, but usually not intentionally.

 

I'm afraid that this is a false hope too. What do you guys think? How should I handle it?

So, was he able to come visit you? If he considered marriage, he's serious. That's what I think. But I guess he would make up his mind after spending more time in your country, getting more familiar with your culture, habits, etc.

[Gr8fuln2020]

I am 27. He is 28. We met from online dating and we have been dating for two years and three months, with almost one year of long distance.

 

I'm in Asia and he is in North America. When he wakes up, I get off work and we FaceTime whenever we can during that time frame. Weekend would be easier but basically try to "see" each other everyday. We text throughout the day even the other person is asleep. We visited each other twice (he came to Asia and then I went to North America) in the past 11 months.

 

I have a good job with a promising career path and he just graduated from grad school and looking for jobs. I have jealousy issues and he likes to flirt sometime. He is also friends with a girl who he slept with before. They are in the same city, meet up from time to time, usually not alone. Other than that and both of us aren't making a lot of money, our relationship is pretty stable.

 

Recently, he mentioned he is considering marriage and wants to have a long visit to Asia to meet my family during the holiday seasons (maybe a month). Pretty much like coming during Christmas time and meet everyone. In his words, he knows this won't be easy because of the cultural differences but want to see if it's gonna work. It all sounds good but we are not sure if he is actually coming because of the pending job interviews.

 

He said a lot of things before but didn't end up doing it. I'm afraid that this is a false hope too. What do you guys think? How should I handle it?

 

You've only met twice in the two years? You don't know each other, frankly. Physical contact time is VERY IMPORTANT. I just don't get why someone would think about marriage with the limited time and exposure you to have had.

 

You say that he has balked on other promises before. Well, you know what kind of person he is. Not a man of his word exactly. Let him put his money where his mouth is. Wait for him to send you an itinerary of the visit and plan accordingly. If it will happen, he would/should buy the tickets at least a month a head of time or so. Plent of time to speak to your parents and prepare them.

 

How did he pay for the visit to Asia? Where did he stay? Where did you stay when there? Have you two been intimate? How old is he? What exactly is he doing with his ex? How did you find out? Did he ever ask for money at any time? Is he planning to move to Asia or insisting that you go to the USA/Canada?

 

TOO MANY QUESTIONS.