bommer27 Posted September 23, 2016 Share Posted September 23, 2016 My boyfriend and I were together for 1.5 years, living together for about half the time. I was offered a job in another city about 14 hours away (driving). He is very comfortable living in the town he grew up in forever, has no interest in moving, and would have trouble finding a comparable job in a new city. As a result, he said he could not move with me for this job and we broke up. I was hurt that he wouldn't consider long distance, but realistically it wasn't what either of us wanted. Fast forward 2 months and we are both miserable, missing each other, and decided that if we want to make long distance work with the idea that one day I would move back. At first, everything was wonderful. I had no doubts that we could get through it. It has been about 3 months now and things are getting harder. I am questioning if I am getting what I need out of the relationship to move back. He would be the only reason for me to move again. I feel like he is holding back a little because of the distance. I'm not sure if I'm being crazy or not. We text good morning/goodnight and throughout the day every day. We talk on the phone after work every day and when we can on weekends. We say we miss each other and I've gone to see him twice. We have no plans to see each other this month and he says we will "figure it out". I feel like I want to put more effort into the relationship that he is willing to. I know he is working hard to save money for us and we are very connected, but I don't see the same level of effort. Am I looking for too much? Should he be putting in more effort? Link to post Share on other sites
smackie9 Posted September 24, 2016 Share Posted September 24, 2016 The question is what is more important to you, him or your new job? Link to post Share on other sites
Lion Heart Posted September 26, 2016 Share Posted September 26, 2016 Do you see him as a life partner? Link to post Share on other sites
Author bommer27 Posted September 26, 2016 Author Share Posted September 26, 2016 The question is what is more important to you, him or your new job? He is more important to me then my new job. I find myself every day wishing that I hadn't made the move. I feel guilty, like I should have stayed. At this point though it would look awful on a resume to jump ship from my new company and I don't want to compromise my career long term. I am the breadwinner in our relationship and it's important to me that we are financially secure. I really want forever with him. I can see so many positive things about him and our relationship, but I fear that I will uproot my life again and we will repeat past mistakes and our relationship won't last. Link to post Share on other sites
justwhoiam Posted September 28, 2016 Share Posted September 28, 2016 I am the breadwinner in our relationship Why? What does it do? Link to post Share on other sites
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