I need

[iamtammyo]

Hi everyone. I've been best friends with my guy best friend for the past five years, been in love with him for most of that time, but I haven't seen him in 3 because he moved to another country for university. I can tell he loves me at least as much as a sister and he always has had some sort of love for me.

 

Recently, our relationship took a new turn when he asked if we could sext a few months ago. Now we do it regularly and it's fun and cool and now I know that he at least wants me sexually.

 

Because of my feelings for him, I don't know if it's a good idea to keep it up though. He knows how I feel about him but we've never actually really talked about it. Is he taking advantage of my feelings for him? Will he ever actually want a relationship whenever it is we'll finally get to see each other again? How do I tell if he has feelings for me? He's never been one to talk about feelings but he did say, just before he left for school the last time we saw each other, that he used to have feelings for me. Has too much time passed for his feelings to still be the same over a very long distance friendship?

 

Obviously I really need some help here. Any comments will be helpful.

[stillafool]

 

He knows how I feel about him but we've never actually really talked about

it.

 

How does he know how you feel about him if you've never talked about it?

[CarrieT]

You are trying to get close to him by using sex to build a relationship and it will backfire on you.

 

He will see you as easy and won't have any respect for you. That is fine if all you want is a FWB, but based on your comments about having feelings, I don't think that is what you really want.

[stillafool]

I don't think you should be sexting with him which will lead to sex. You have to speak up and let him know you do not want to have casual sex with him or anyone, you want a relationship. Being a FWB is okay but you are too emotionally involved, will fall deeper in love and get hurt. Talk to him about how you feel.