goldenrule Posted June 15, 2016 Share Posted June 15, 2016 Hi all, I have been in a long distance relationship with my boyfriend for almost a year now. It has been really hard to see eachother often due to our work schedules and luckily we have been able to grow close. We talked about moving in together in the past but we left it there until recently it came up again. He wants me to move im with him by September but the problem is i don't like the city he lives in. It's a lot different then where I live. His city is more farm land and secluded. I have told him I don't want to live there for more then a year and he said ok after a year we can move to the city I want to go to so I can go back to school and start my career. Only issue I am having is I don't want to waste a whole year stuck in a lease working a ****ty job just to make ends meet and pay rent, car, hydro, etc. I feel like I will just be wasting time. While he is going to go back to school and work he will be happy because he likes his city. I asked him to move here or for us to find another city where we both with start new but he doesn't want to he said he doesnt feel secure or ready to leave his home right now. We agreed that if I don't want to move there we will have to break up because we both are unhappy with the long distance. I really don't know what to do, should I just suck it up for the year amd hope that I am somewhat happy there? I don't want to lose him thats the hardest part. Link to post Share on other sites
T-16bullseyeWompRat Posted June 15, 2016 Share Posted June 15, 2016 If neither of you want to move for each other, then it must not be that important to either of you to be together. You are stating things that are more important to you then your relationship at this time. He did as well. Probably time to move on with your school and career. Link to post Share on other sites
Els Posted June 19, 2016 Share Posted June 19, 2016 No, I don't think you should put up with living in a place you hate and putting your education and career on hold for a boyfriend of a year. Also, I'm very concerned that he seems to think it's totally fine for you to do so and won't consider a 3rd option - that does not sound like what a man who truly loves you would do! If either of the factors were different - if, say, you actually like where he lives and you would be able to move forward in your career there, or if he has been with you for a longer time and he has made sacrifices of his own for your relationship and a 3rd option wasn't possible... then my answer might have been different. The way things stand, I think you would be making a huge mistake by moving. I did move to be with my partner several years back, but in my case I loved the place he lived in and when I moved I knew that even if we didn't work out, I'd have awesome experiences and would be able to further my education anyhow. Also, he supported me financially so I did not need to work a McJob just to make ends meet. We did work out in the end (still together!), but in your shoes I would NOT have moved. Link to post Share on other sites
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