LDR across ocean, eventually to be 5 hours drive apart

[natwilliams]

I am in an LDR (not official) with a french woman 23 years of age. I am 31. She and I have kept in touch for about a year now since we met in the US. I visited her in May 2015 and it was great although not physically intimate, but even better that way. I feel our connection is special and we are both jewish too.

She is coming to visit me in the US for almost 2 weeks in September!! And then I can go to France again in January. She can finally move to Montreal (5 hours from me) next summer. We talk every day by facebook messages and/or email. Should I plan to be exclusive with her after her visit in September? Something tells me I should keep my flirt on in my town... I'm 31 after all and though I like montreal, I'm not sure I can move there. I could see keeping an apartment there though for twice a month visits until we decide what to do.

[justwhoiam]

I am in an LDR (not official)

Can you explain what the deal is? Just friends? Or did you kiss her?

 

We talk every day by facebook messages and/or email.

This sounds quite "casual". Not bad, as she's not your girlfriend, but I'd say that you're not giving away any sign of interest in that sense. So it does make sense that she was not intimate with you.

 

Should I plan to be exclusive with her after her visit in September?

So, have you been dating girls? Have you both been dating other people all along?

 

Something tells me I should keep my flirt on in my town...

If that's the way you feel, you need to fall into her friend zone, unless she agrees to be friends with benefits with you. I assume she has no interest in that, otherwise she wouldn't have missed a chance to have sex with you while being there with her in France.

 

I'm 31 after all and though I like montreal, I'm not sure I can move there.

Is she moving to Canada permanently? Or would it be a temporary situation anyway?

 

I could see keeping an apartment there though for twice a month visits until we decide what to do.

If you have the money to rent an apartment where she's at, to only be there twice a month, then why don't you split expenses with her and she stays there even while you're not there? Or are you very unsure about what you really want and might back out after two months?

[d0nnivain]

I don't see the point in being exclusive with somebody so far away when the relationship has little meaningful chance of closing the gap any time soon. While 5 hours is closer than half way around the world, you still face too many immigration issues. Since this also started out OL, rather than IRL, until you have concrete plans for a conventional relationship, I wouldn't. I prefer a partner I can hug & kiss, not one in a computer.