techtech541 Posted May 22, 2015 Share Posted May 22, 2015 Just seeking some answers, been in a relationship for two years with amazing girl we are older she is 32 and I'm 35 and highyl compatible. Currently half way across the world with her role to perform while traveling on a cruise, she is half way through her first contract. Initially offered a contract one year ago but declined to stay with me which made me feel semi guilty as I don't want her to miss on opportunity and regret, but at the same time reiterated her love. The plan was for her to come back to my country after this contract she is from another country but hasn't lived there in ages, and basically sort out what the next place to move together would be. Nearly proposed before she left but didn't want to freak her out (had international visit from her mom, and before she left and told me she had never seen her daughter this happy before or cared about a guy this much, and basically hit me up as to when I was going to marry her) Everything was fine planned several trips to join her, first one was amazing and she nearly quit the day after I visited to come back due to me as she wasn't enjoying it and was depressed. That visit was amazing and knew we will still really strong and meant to be. Had great communication and would say how much she misses me etc, good skype too but recently stopped due to bad connection issues with the net....Initially tried to get a job so I could join her but it was bit of an issue due to recruitment companies Now she has completely flipped out saying she is unsure and wants to experience new things and not "settle", and unsure of what to do next like another job or move some where foreign.... She really doesn't enjoy the work and thought she would get more time to explore the countries she visits(she has travelled alot too so I'm not worried that she hasn't seen the world etc). We have another visit soon but doesn't think its fair on me, but I know if I visit her she will snap out of this mind set and talk sense back into her. When she was here she was extremely happy and confident due to me, now she is almost bipolar and semi depressed and wants to go home for a bit to get some help as she doesn't feel happy! Now thinks we are not strong enough and different plans but I would go any where in the world to relocate for her regardless of job opportunities. Was trying to spin things around and agree me to have final say to separate several times and give it thought after a while but I know if happened, we would get back after a month. She is still in this thinking but still says she loves me. Should I wait this out while she come to senses, try and make an actually endding even she is unsure what she will do next after her contract, go with original visit soon and propose? I really see her in my future and we had lots of plans to travel etc Link to post Share on other sites
ExpatInItaly Posted May 22, 2015 Share Posted May 22, 2015 Honestly? I think she's met someone else. She is actively discouraging you from visiting. There's a reason for that, in my opinion. Do not go ahead with this trip. Certainly do not propose to her. She isn't on the same page right now and you need to respect her wishes. Give her space. She is trying to pull away and you pushing it isn't going to help. Back off for a little while. Reconnect in a couple weeks and see where her mind is at. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Villainous Posted May 22, 2015 Share Posted May 22, 2015 Now she has completely flipped out saying she is unsure and wants to experience new things and not "settle" "New things" is code for "new guy." "Not settling" is code for "I think I can do better than this chump." You seem like a decent guy and she will live to regret this when the "new guy" pumps her and dumps her. Whatever you do, do NOT go crawling back to her after this. Gather up your self-respect and move on. The online world is full of women. Just my advice. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Author techtech541 Posted May 25, 2015 Author Share Posted May 25, 2015 Trying to keep distance at the moment, I don't think shes moved on in that sense she is not really that type of chick especially with the chumps on the boat. Still contact me but brushed of several times. Let her figure out her head Link to post Share on other sites
Manchester45 Posted May 27, 2015 Share Posted May 27, 2015 She seems to be adventurous type OP. Going and working on a cruise. She will meet lots of people. Some of them may be flings or ONS even. If she is the type of woman, young and attractive and cheery personality...she'll get lots of attention. Beautiful woman, adventurous and long distance are recepy for nerve-wrecking rocky relationships imho. If you can handle this, play it cool. Let her come to you. Don't contact her. If you don't. Well, learn to live with the uncertainties. Link to post Share on other sites
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