Sponge_Cake Posted November 14, 2014 Share Posted November 14, 2014 Therefore when I get in from work he's going to work for the night, when I'm asleep he's at work, when I'm up, he's asleep We used to talk on Skype every other night but we can't now... What's the best thing to do in this situation? There will barely be a time when we are both around at the same time. Link to post Share on other sites
central Posted November 14, 2014 Share Posted November 14, 2014 The best thing? New boyfriend, no doubt. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
writergal Posted November 14, 2014 Share Posted November 14, 2014 Realistically I don't see how you two can sustain your relationship with each other long distance. You can email/text/call each other on your breaks (you'd have to schedule those in advance probably), but since you're long distance that makes it worse. How long have you two been together? Maybe it's time to discuss one of you making the big move to the other's country wherever you are so at least you can be together. I just don't see how you could make your relationship work now that you have different work schedules in addition to different time zones (if there are different time zones). Sorry. Link to post Share on other sites
Keenly Posted November 14, 2014 Share Posted November 14, 2014 You guys are gonna have to 50 50 it. He stays up late while you wake up early, or vice versa. 2 Link to post Share on other sites
Author Sponge_Cake Posted November 14, 2014 Author Share Posted November 14, 2014 We are in the same country - so same time zones. I forgot to say its only Monday - Wednesday and we do see each other every two weeks at the weekend. I'm still not sure how we are going to speak to each other during those 3 days. Do you really tjink its worth breaking up over? We've been together 8 months Link to post Share on other sites
writergal Posted November 14, 2014 Share Posted November 14, 2014 We are in the same country - so same time zones. I forgot to say its only Monday - Wednesday and we do see each other every two weeks at the weekend. I'm still not sure how we are going to speak to each other during those 3 days. Do you really tjink its worth breaking up over? We've been together 8 months If it's only 3 days out of 7 a week that he works nights then no, it's not something you need to break up over, since you visit each other every two weeks at the weekend. As Keenly pointed out, you both have to make an effort to communicate during those 3 days. Send each other texts, emails or calls. As with all long distant relationships, one person has to move to be with the other. Have you two ever discussed who would be the one to move? 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Author Sponge_Cake Posted November 14, 2014 Author Share Posted November 14, 2014 If it's only 3 days out of 7 a week that he works nights then no, it's not something you need to break up over, since you visit each other every two weeks at the weekend. As Keenly pointed out, you both have to make an effort to communicate during those 3 days. Send each other texts, emails or calls. As with all long distant relationships, one person has to move to be with the other. Have you two ever discussed who would be the one to move? Yes we have. It's going to be in the new year. This is only a temporary job until January but he could be kept on as permanent. He said he will make an effort to message me and call me on those days and I'll text him too. It's going to be tough and it's making me quite anxious but I love him, I don't want to break up with him. Link to post Share on other sites
writergal Posted November 14, 2014 Share Posted November 14, 2014 Yes we have. It's going to be in the new year. This is only a temporary job until January but he could be kept on as permanent. He said he will make an effort to message me and call me on those days and I'll text him too. It's going to be tough and it's making me quite anxious but I love him, I don't want to break up with him. In the grand scheme of your relationship, 3 days a week of having different work schedules is nothing. Absolutely nothing. If it were 7 days a week and he lived in a different country with a different time zone, then I'd think the relationship was over. But that's not the case. Same country. Same time zone. Different cities/states. Not a big deal. You've already agreed to be together in the 2015 and his job is temporary until January. So I see no problems with your relationship. 2 Link to post Share on other sites
Author Sponge_Cake Posted November 14, 2014 Author Share Posted November 14, 2014 In the grand scheme of your relationship, 3 days a week of having different work schedules is nothing. Absolutely nothing. If it were 7 days a week and he lived in a different country with a different time zone, then I'd think the relationship was over. But that's not the case. Same country. Same time zone. Different cities/states. Not a big deal. You've already agreed to be together in the 2015 and his job is temporary until January. So I see no problems with your relationship. Ok, thanks yeah I guess that makes sense. It's still not an ideal situation but we will have to make the best of it. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Els Posted November 17, 2014 Share Posted November 17, 2014 Doesn't sound like a big deal to me, since you are seeing each other every 2 weeks, plus the other 4 days a week you can have decent phone conversations. Since you used to talk on Skype 'every other day', how about now you switch to talking on Skype on the 4 days that he isn't working nights instead? Sounds like it would be mostly the same thing, just a bit of a readjustment. Can you get a 5-minute call through on the days that he is working nights? It's unlikely that both of you are working 12+ hours a day, so there must be some window in between. Plus it's only til January! Seriously, don't worry yourself over it. If it's meant to be it'll definitely work out. 2 Link to post Share on other sites
Author Sponge_Cake Posted November 17, 2014 Author Share Posted November 17, 2014 Doesn't sound like a big deal to me, since you are seeing each other every 2 weeks, plus the other 4 days a week you can have decent phone conversations. Since you used to talk on Skype 'every other day', how about now you switch to talking on Skype on the 4 days that he isn't working nights instead? Sounds like it would be mostly the same thing, just a bit of a readjustment. Can you get a 5-minute call through on the days that he is working nights? It's unlikely that both of you are working 12+ hours a day, so there must be some window in between. Plus it's only til January! Seriously, don't worry yourself over it. If it's meant to be it'll definitely work out. I know, I know. Yes there are windows on opportunity but short ones. As during the day he will be sleeping, during the evenings when I'm home, he will be working. I think there's around an hour when we could possibly talk for 20 minutes or so. Once in those three days would be fine for that. I'm seeing him this Friday anyway. Link to post Share on other sites
LittleTiger Posted November 17, 2014 Share Posted November 17, 2014 "Where there's a will....." My guy and I are on opposite sides of the world. He works seven days, a few days off, and then seven nights - sometimes we only get five or ten minutes to talk before heading for bed or out to work. Sometimes we stay up late or set an early alarm just so we can have a quick chat. If it's only three days a week, I think you'll manage just fine. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Author Sponge_Cake Posted November 18, 2014 Author Share Posted November 18, 2014 "Where there's a will....." My guy and I are on opposite sides of the world. He works seven days, a few days off, and then seven nights - sometimes we only get five or ten minutes to talk before heading for bed or out to work. Sometimes we stay up late or set an early alarm just so we can have a quick chat. If it's only three days a week, I think you'll manage just fine. Thanks, I hope you're right. Also as I said, we do see each other every other weekend too. You and your guy sound like you do everything to make it work where abouts in the world do you both live if you don't mind me asking? I will certainly speak to him on the days off and for 10 minutes in between me getting in from work and him leaving for his. Link to post Share on other sites
LittleTiger Posted November 19, 2014 Share Posted November 19, 2014 Thanks, I hope you're right. Also as I said, we do see each other every other weekend too. You and your guy sound like you do everything to make it work where abouts in the world do you both live if you don't mind me asking? I will certainly speak to him on the days off and for 10 minutes in between me getting in from work and him leaving for his. I don't mind at all. I've been here a while, so if you search through my previous posts you'll find a fair bit about my situation. Very briefly though - I'm in the UK, my guy is a Kiwi who works in Oz for six to eight months a year. I usually get over there for about six weeks each year and he travels backwards and forwards between work contracts. It isn't easy but we make it work. Good luck with your new schedule - hope it all works out. Link to post Share on other sites
justwhoiam Posted November 20, 2014 Share Posted November 20, 2014 How far are you willing to go for someone you love? Ask yourself that. And I'm not talking about "miles". There are situations that are far more challenging than this one you presented, and sacrifices required, if you are willing to have a family. I'm not sure if you are looking for someone to build a family with or just someone to have fun with. But obviously on that depends your choice. Link to post Share on other sites
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