Why doesn't she send me pics!

[hbee91]

Hey!

So me and my longdistance gf have been together for about two months now. Im 23 she's 22. Everything is going great so far but my problem is that she never sends me pictures of herself but she does post them on her instagram. I've send her alot of pictures of myself and the only time she sent me pictures of herself was one night at the beginning of our relationship, she sent me three pics in a row and that's it.

Today I noticed on her instagram page that she put up her snapchat username, it killed me cuz i didn't know she had snapchat and she doesn't even bother to ask if i have it either. I don't want to confront her about the snapchat thing cuz then she'll think im spying on her or something and i'll come out as clingy or needy.

So i'm open to any advice!

[ExpatInItaly]

Have you ever met her in person? How old are you both?

 

I'd say she's not ready to jump in with both feet to this relationship. If you haven't met, it makes sense. How often do you speak? (And I mean, actually talk to each other on the phone or Skype or something - NOT text or What's App)

[evanescentworld]

It's only been 8 weeks. if the only way you communicate is online, she hardly knows you.

You have to build up trust.

 

And she may be a year younger than you, but ladies' brains, (in some cerebral zones, not all) mature and develop faster than the same zones in the brains of men.

So she may be emotionally more mature than you.

Edited September 23, 2014 by a LoveShack.org Moderator

[FitChick]

Sounds like an attention whore.

[HeavenOrHell]

She's not your gf if you've not actually met.

Why this need for her to send you pics?

[d0nnivain]

If you can see the pictures on her social media why do you need separate pictures? Will it make you feel more special & therefore more secure if you have pictures of her the rest of the world doesn't? If you are asking for naughty pictures she probably doesn't feel comfortable.

[juicygirl]

Why do you need all these photos of her?

 

As for snapchat, maybe she just signed up, but really why do you care so much? You sound insecure.

[TMichaels]

Why do you need all these photos of her?

 

As for snapchat, maybe she just signed up, but really why do you care so much? You sound insecure.

 

Because he's more invested in the "relationship" than she is.

 

 

Best,

TMichaels

[amaysngrace]

Ask her for more pictures instead of complaining about it here.

 

Do you smoke a lot of pot?

[Lani]

Are you sure she's your girlfriend?

[Pyro]

Are you sure that she is a 'she'?

 

Unless you have skyped or met in person she is a total stranger.

[almond]

Ask her for more pictures instead of complaining about it here.

 

Do you smoke a lot of pot?

 

I don't see any mention of marijuana in this thread?

 

Strange question to ask, and is irrelevant to the topic at hand.

[Pyro]

I don't see any mention of marijuana in this thread?

 

Strange question to ask, and is irrelevant to the topic at hand.

 

Do you smoke a lot of pot?

[almond]

Lol 10/10 response would read again.

[JamesM]

Are you sure that she is a 'she'?

 

Unless you have skyped or met in person she is a total stranger.

 

After having read about so many scams and after having someone send ME fake pics which were allegedly of herself, I am as skeptical as Pyro.

 

Unless you have met her in person or know of someone who knows her or met her in person, then she could be a he.

 

If this person even hints at money, run.

 

Now having said that IF this person is a real woman who wants to be your GF, then yes, I would wonder why she would not want to send pics of herself. It is either because she is insecure about her looks or it is because she has few pics. In this day and age, I doubt it is because of having only a few pics.

[chados]

my girlfriend has instagram. i dont use instagram. shes on facebook a lot, not posting but looking at newsfeed. i barely use facebook. she use snapchat i think. i dont.. she's sending me more pictures then i do. and get this. we dont even have "in a relationship status on facebook" . weve been dating for almost 3 years. never had any problems. if you look for attention you wont get it. its not that the person doesnt like you. but the more you do for someone the less they will do it for you. they will start taking you for granted.

 

 

like the guy above me said. you invest more then her. dont do that. dont give her more attention then she gives you.

 

sure im not gonna pretend that i havent been in your situation ever. that i didnt want someone to give me more attention. but that goes both ways. invest equally!

[Michelle ma Belle]

Once again, the answers are unanimous.

 

Have you tried dropping whatever pics you did get into a reverse image search?

 

LOTS of fakes online using other people's pics and identities. If you haven't met in person or Skyped you're in a very vulnerable position especially if you're calling her your "girlfriend".

 

As FitChick said, IF she's real she sounds like an attention whore.

 

Good luck.

[hbee91]

Thank you all for the replies!

Honestly we haven't met but i got her number through my cousin. She happens to be my cousin's fiancee's sister. And we've talked a bunch of times on viber and i've even talked to her sisters her father and met her mother and brother. This is my first longdistance relationship. I've always seen myself as a confident person but in my last two relationships i've gotten cheated on which have made me think about things from another perspective.

No i don't ask for naughty pictures , i respect her too much for that. She does actually give me some attention, she initiates conversations everyday, she always tells me she misses me when i haven't talked to her in awhile she even tells me intimate stuff that she doesn't tell anyone. But the problem is i get hung up on these little details, maybe because i have trust issues and i'm afraid of getting cheated on again. I don't want to feel clingy or needy cuz i really hate that. Sometimes i just need to vent to get control of my emotions again.

[d0nnivain]

I think you hit the nail on the head. You are insecure because you were cheated on in the past. LDRs are tough & they require tremendous amounts of trust. I presume you will meet this woman in person at your cousin's wedding? I'd back off the "relationship" until then. Of course keep in touch, keep flirting but have it be open & free no obligations on either side. See what happens at the wedding then make a decision about an LDR.

[chados]

Thank you all for the replies!

Honestly we haven't met but i got her number through my cousin. She happens to be my cousin's fiancee's sister. And we've talked a bunch of times on viber and i've even talked to her sisters her father and met her mother and brother. This is my first longdistance relationship. I've always seen myself as a confident person but in my last two relationships i've gotten cheated on which have made me think about things from another perspective.

No i don't ask for naughty pictures , i respect her too much for that. She does actually give me some attention, she initiates conversations everyday, she always tells me she misses me when i haven't talked to her in awhile she even tells me intimate stuff that she doesn't tell anyone. But the problem is i get hung up on these little details, maybe because i have trust issues and i'm afraid of getting cheated on again. I don't want to feel clingy or needy cuz i really hate that. Sometimes i just need to vent to get control of my emotions again.

 

 

asking her about naughty pictures doesnt mean you disrespect her. i think many people appreciate that you ask them about it instead of watching porn if you get what im saying.

 

i dont really see the problem here. she initiate contact. she tells you she misses you and she's sharing private stuff. and youre worrying about why shes not sending as many pictures as you.

 

once a week you could do something special for her. or at least tell her something different then good morning/good night. give her something to think about. for example text her first and tell her that you've missed her. just something simple. this was an example, i have no idea how you communicate. you'll figure something out.

[azureorb]

Honestly we haven't met but i got her number through my cousin. She happens to be my cousin's fiancee's sister.

 

DUDE! It's not a relationship! She's not a girlfriend! You aren't even remotely close to even Dating LD! You're not dating at all. Not even a smidge!

 

She's just an ONLINE FRIEND -- who's not platonic (I'm assuming). That's it. You need to meet -- many times at least -- before you can consider yourself Dating.

[evanescentworld]

DUDE! It's not a relationship! She's not a girlfriend! You aren't even remotely close to even Dating LD! You're not dating at all. Not even a smidge!

 

She's just an ONLINE FRIEND -- who's not platonic (I'm assuming). That's it. You need to meet -- many times at least -- before you can consider yourself Dating.

Yes I get this impression too..

Does she know you consider her your girlfriend? Have you actually discussed a relationship? Exclusivity? It seems from what you write that you are convinced you two are an item but that she's blissfully unaware of this...

[hbee91]

I guess you guys are right. But i'm going through alot in my life now and i'm under alot of stress specially this year. Which might have lead me to rush things with her cuz i feel calm when we talk and i enjoy our talks alot.

Haha but after reading what i've posted and reading your answers i realized how silly i seem and how this whole situation isn't even a problem. I'm just going to take a few steps back and look at it as a friendship than a relationship. And hopefully it will evolve into something more serious in the future or maybe not. If it's meant to be it's meant to be right!?

[evanescentworld]

Well, yes..... but if your pants are on fire, you could at least pour water on them...

 

If you seek a relationship, right now, then broach the subject.

 

She can only say yes or no.

 

But if you don't think, that with the stress you already have to cope with, you could deal with a full-blown relationship or conversely, the rejection, then as you say: Step back, chill, detach, and just treat it like a pen-pal friendship.

 

Nothing is supposed to be as angst-ridden as this - particularly if there's nothing even been discussed yet!

[chados]

I guess you guys are right. But i'm going through alot in my life now and i'm under alot of stress specially this year. Which might have lead me to rush things with her cuz i feel calm when we talk and i enjoy our talks alot.

Haha but after reading what i've posted and reading your answers i realized how silly i seem and how this whole situation isn't even a problem. I'm just going to take a few steps back and look at it as a friendship than a relationship. And hopefully it will evolve into something more serious in the future or maybe not. If it's meant to be it's meant to be right!?

 

 

its not redicilious. you havent met yet but i do understand if you can get feelings towards someone over the internet too. but like people has stated already, its not a relationship. and the girl might be different when you actually see her. if you get together dont change apperance. be like you are when you are texting, as long as that is your natural behaviour. if she likes you for who you are theres no reason to worry. been together for 3 years and even though i havent had much problems at all with her. i can understand how small things makes you worried.

 

but its when you make these worries a problem that they will come out as a problem. if you really like this girl and she seems to like you back then go for it. if you get together you need to stop being worried and respect yourself. invest equally. let her pay for dinner once in a while. dont shower her with compliments if she doesnt give you any. dont be afraid when she starts yelling at you cause this will happen . dont appologize if you havent done anything wrong. when you know that you are worth as much as her and respect yourself then she will respect you too.