She says she needs to be alone.

[tray]

Hi,

So thursday, my girlfriend of three years dumped me over the phone. She just got started at a very nice school far away. We've been long distance since the beginning. But now she's busier. She says it's better for us, and that we will grow as people. My friends told me she said she felt like things had run their course and that she wanted to go out and grow as a person. Said she needed to be alone. I wish she needed me the way I need her. She won't talk to me. I sent her a message to tell her I missed her so much. She wrote back "I'm sorry". I wish she missed me so much too. Not too long ago we discussed an open relationship because I was her first relationship and she wanted to have more partners. She wanted to go out and see more people I guess. I broke up with her once before our first year together, but we got back together not too long after. But she says she loves me, just now like how I love her anymore. She won't talk to me. She won't send me anything. But when she last visited she said she wanted to stay with me. She said that she loved me. It hurts so bad, man. Like, a deep down kind of hurt I just wasn't ready for.

 

Do you guys have any advice for me? It just feels right now like things won't get better.

[tray]

it sucks too because she was the best friend I've ever had. I value our friendship so much and I really don't want to lose it. She means too much to me to let that happen. I want my friend back. She said she would always be there for me, but I need her now more than ever and shes gone. This is stupid.

[Tayla]

Welcome to the board. Sorry that I do not have advice for this. maybe do some searchs for others who have posted about this dilema. Sometimes that helps to know you are not alone...

[Natsu21]

Hi,

So thursday, my girlfriend of three years dumped me over the phone. She just got started at a very nice school far away. We've been long distance since the beginning. But now she's busier. She says it's better for us, and that we will grow as people. My friends told me she said she felt like things had run their course and that she wanted to go out and grow as a person. Said she needed to be alone. I wish she needed me the way I need her. She won't talk to me. I sent her a message to tell her I missed her so much. She wrote back "I'm sorry". I wish she missed me so much too. Not too long ago we discussed an open relationship because I was her first relationship and she wanted to have more partners. She wanted to go out and see more people I guess. I broke up with her once before our first year together, but we got back together not too long after. But she says she loves me, just now like how I love her anymore. She won't talk to me. She won't send me anything. But when she last visited she said she wanted to stay with me. She said that she loved me. It hurts so bad, man. Like, a deep down kind of hurt I just wasn't ready for.

 

Do you guys have any advice for me? It just feels right now like things won't get better.

 

What I'm gonna say is going to be long so listen to me.

 

What you're feeling right now is sadness. Why are you sad? Because you were happy. Why were you happy? That person made you feel positive things. Things that are almost addicting. We all want that person to make us feel those things.

 

That's why it's hard when the inevitable comes and one person no longer wants to be with the other. Maybe it's because their busy lives get in the way. Maybe it's because they aren't sure of what they want. Maybe they want something else. But instead of focusing on the fact that you were dumped, accept it as a chapter that's closed in your life.

 

Remember, at your age, especially when college hits, there is a lot of opportunity, a place to grow, and opportunities at dating. Maybe your gf realized this, and sought to let you know these things. She will start dating someone else, but don't blame yourself.

 

Never blame yourself. If someone leaves your life, as painful as it is, let them go. If you did what you could to try to be the best bf ever, and even if you failed at times, never blame yourself. Some people are here for a season. Few are here for long. Cherish their time, because each interaction with people, positive or negative, shapes you as a person, so choose wisely who you keep company with.

 

Figure out ways you could have improved yourself as a person. This is a learning experience. So let the tears flow. You are moaning not only the absence of a piece of your happiness, but the loss of something familiar.

 

Like that, however, it can be overcome. First thing you must do is to accept it and not bother her anymore. She wants her freedom, and as sad as that is, let her have it. She's human and she deserves to be happy. In time you will find a woman that may not only be like her, but who will be even better. I can't promise you that'll happen anytime, but the sooner you move forward, the better chances you have at meeting that person.

 

Remember how your life was before she came into the picture? You were completely okay with your life, weren't you? You will survive because you survived this long without her.

 

There were certain things that made you happy and they can still do that. Never revolve your world around a woman or any one person.

 

There's an entire life and the world is full with beautiful women on the inside and out.

 

This is but a mere chapter in your life. Welcome to the Loveshack Board. We're hear for the brokenhearted, so you can rant to all of us.

 

With time and effort, you will be as good as new. Just remember that the battle scars are just a symbol of you gaining strength. Instead of feeling like the past got away, look forward to the exciting future you could shape.

 

Here's hoping for the best. Your book isn't finished yet, so keep writing the story of your life!

 

Regards,

Natsu21.

Edited September 16, 2014 by Natsu21