K0203 Posted August 5, 2014 Share Posted August 5, 2014 (edited) Would you take time off to see your SO? So I'm having trouble deciding if I should take time off from school to see my SO. I did the pros and cons of two options and so far the cons outweighed the pros on the option I want most! Ugh. I think I grasp my consequences for doing so would mean delaying my graduation a bit. Basically it's a decision between 19 days or 50 days of school missed.. (In terms of my school. It's flexible so it's up to me but again it would mean delaying myself those days.) Here's the options.. See him: October - January: 1. Would miss 50 days of school. 2. I can see him earlier and 3. longer. OR November - January: 1. Would miss 19 days of school. 2. I'd have to see him later and 2. have less time. I want to see my bf so obviously the former option appeals to me. But at the same time, the sensible me knows I'd be prolonging school. Such a dilemma being long distance and all. What would you do??? What should I do??? Thanks in advance for you help! Edited August 5, 2014 by a LoveShack.org Moderator Link to post Share on other sites
rester Posted August 5, 2014 Share Posted August 5, 2014 I would have never delayed my graduation for a relationship, but that's me. 2 Link to post Share on other sites
Els Posted August 5, 2014 Share Posted August 5, 2014 How much will your graduation be delayed? Will it just take one month more or will it extend another entire semester? Link to post Share on other sites
Author K0203 Posted August 5, 2014 Author Share Posted August 5, 2014 Explain to me your reasoning please? I love this person and it saddens me to be away from him.. So I'm not thinking clearly and I know I need to. Link to post Share on other sites
Allumere Posted August 5, 2014 Share Posted August 5, 2014 Get your schooling done....This really isn't a choice. WHY? Because this isn't a "OMG, I'm not going to see him." I really can't believe you are debating this...seriously. What does your SO have some screwed-up "$ of days we must spend together when we see each other?" Hmmmmm...and how about delaying graduation actually further pushes out the time when you would be actually free to see each other. Now if you are already independently wealthy and school is a "just because you feel like it" then sure, why not but if you are like most, that ain't the case. Just finish...you have the rest of your life with SO. Link to post Share on other sites
Author K0203 Posted August 5, 2014 Author Share Posted August 5, 2014 Get your schooling done....This really isn't a choice. WHY? Because this isn't a "OMG, I'm not going to see him." I really can't believe you are debating this...seriously. What does your SO have some screwed-up "$ of days we must spend together when we see each other?" Hmmmmm...and how about delaying graduation actually further pushes out the time when you would be actually free to see each other. Now if you are already independently wealthy and school is a "just because you feel like it" then sure, why not but if you are like most, that ain't the case. Just finish...you have the rest of your life with SO. Nothing special my SO is asking of me. I just miss him. Yeah basically I've always been okay with my family and such. But not independently earning yet. That's why I feel like a month wouldn't hurt too much.. Also I have a ticket that is already in place for Oct and I'd have to shell out money at this point to change it to Nov.. (I would be with him for the holidays so that's why I'm staying until Jan. Btw) But I get your pov. Thanks Link to post Share on other sites
Author K0203 Posted August 5, 2014 Author Share Posted August 5, 2014 How much will your graduation be delayed? Will it just take one month more or will it extend another entire semester? It would only take a month more. No huge delay other than me getting out of my parents home lol. And I'm able to do some schoolwork independently when I'm away as well so possibly a little less delay. Link to post Share on other sites
clia Posted August 5, 2014 Share Posted August 5, 2014 Honestly missing 19 or 50 days of school seems really ridiculous to me. You mentioned that you are in the US and he is in the UK, which isn't that far away. Why do you have to visit him for two or three months? Can't you just go for a couple of weeks over your Christmas break? Can't he visit you? I personally would not even consider delaying my graduation for a relationship. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
dogeared Posted August 6, 2014 Share Posted August 6, 2014 I think it's silly to put seeing this person over finishing up school. Take care of yourself and your future first and independently of anyone else. I also do not see why you need to see him for 3 or more months. What's wrong with a week or two? Link to post Share on other sites
Author K0203 Posted August 6, 2014 Author Share Posted August 6, 2014 Honestly missing 19 or 50 days of school seems really ridiculous to me. You mentioned that you are in the US and he is in the UK, which isn't that far away. Why do you have to visit him for two or three months? Can't you just go for a couple of weeks over your Christmas break? Can't he visit you? I personally would not even consider delaying my graduation for a relationship. I'm sorry the US from the UK is over 4000 miles? Since when is that not far away? dogeard I also do not see why you need to see him for 3 or more months. What's wrong with a week or two? Agreed I wish I could see him more often, weeks at a time but since the UK is so far away it means $800 total in plane tickets each visit. This is what I'm trying to forgo. I chose the holiday months as we don't have as much school. There are frequent holiday breaks, weeks at a time. That's why if I go at end of nov-dec I won't miss much. Again I had a ticket set for something unrelated that fell through and it's why I was thinking to avoid paying $200 to change the ticket, I could just go in oct and stay to my original depart date of beginning of January(when school starts again). So with all the pro, cons, and your advice I'm aware majority rules I should not go in October. I talked to SO about it tonight and he too would rather me get as much school as possible too. There is a difference between saying you wouldn't delay your graduation compared to putting a person above my school. I'm trying to grasp why it wouldn't be a good idea. I understand I want to "take care of myself" but you all sound like I'm planning to take a year off to explore Europe for my SO, when it's simply a difference of 30 days.. Is that such a big deal?? That's why I want to ask you professional minded people because I've never had such success and can't see "my future".. Link to post Share on other sites
pteromom Posted August 6, 2014 Share Posted August 6, 2014 I agree with everyone else. How about just going over the holiday break, then when you graduate, you can spend the whole summer with him? 1 Link to post Share on other sites
GorillaTheater Posted August 6, 2014 Share Posted August 6, 2014 I agree with everyone else: it's a bad idea to delay your graduation to spend a month or two with UKguy. If he cares about you, he won't want you to do it either. Who's paying for your schooling? 1 Link to post Share on other sites
justwhoiam Posted August 6, 2014 Share Posted August 6, 2014 If I were you, I'd spend Christmas with my family in the US and take a plane on Dec 26. I'd breathe some Christmas atmosphere with him, spend New Year's Eve & New Year's Day with him, and probably stay there the first week of January. It's called compromise. 3 Link to post Share on other sites
remote Posted August 7, 2014 Share Posted August 7, 2014 (edited) I went over to visit my bf for 3 months after I graduated. Don't delay your graduation, it's not helping your relationship in the long run. My friends in LDR: She's from UK and he's from US. He went over to UK for 6 months after graduation, since tourist visa from US to UK is valid for that long. Edited August 7, 2014 by remote 1 Link to post Share on other sites
SaltwaterHeart Posted August 7, 2014 Share Posted August 7, 2014 (edited) I think 19 days is way too much already. I have never missed more than a maximum of 2 or 3 school days because of him and there was a time that we lived 16 hours from each other, by plane. Personally I take my education very seriously, partly due to the fact that I am not entirely paying for it out of my own pocket. I'd find it hard to not stress out and ruin the trip over the fact that I should be working. I just don't think it's a good attitude, even if it only delays you by a month. If it were a job, you wouldn't bail for a few weeks either. Edited August 7, 2014 by SaltwaterHeart Link to post Share on other sites
Author K0203 Posted August 8, 2014 Author Share Posted August 8, 2014 Who's paying for your schooling? I payed for school in cash. Thanks for the advice everyone. Lots to think about.. Link to post Share on other sites
Els Posted August 8, 2014 Share Posted August 8, 2014 Can the two of you afford another trip after your graduation? If you can, then just go for the short break first and then go again after you graduate? Alternatively he could come to see you? Then you wouldn't even need to take 19 days off. Link to post Share on other sites
Author K0203 Posted August 8, 2014 Author Share Posted August 8, 2014 Can the two of you afford another trip after your graduation? If you can, then just go for the short break first and then go again after you graduate? Alternatively he could come to see you? Then you wouldn't even need to take 19 days off. Well he doesn't have any more time from work until April because he had planned a month long trip before he met me. So we planned for him to come in July during my family reunion to meet everyone. I'm looking into changing my ticket to my Christmas break but it looks like it's a lot more money.. Link to post Share on other sites
d0nnivain Posted August 8, 2014 Share Posted August 8, 2014 I'd take 1-2 days off, sure. Two months no way. Link to post Share on other sites
Els Posted August 8, 2014 Share Posted August 8, 2014 I'm looking into changing my ticket to my Christmas break but it looks like it's a lot more money.. Wait, so you have already bought the 50 days ticket? Link to post Share on other sites
Author K0203 Posted August 8, 2014 Author Share Posted August 8, 2014 I'd take 1-2 days off, sure. Two months no way. It's not two months.. Elswyth Wait, so you have already bought the 50 days ticket? I have two one way tickets for another reason.. It's obviously cheaper in nov and beginning of dec to change it. Link to post Share on other sites
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