vivia Posted July 5, 2014 Share Posted July 5, 2014 hi ! so i have been in this relationship for like three weeks now ...i know it's not long but me and my partner after meeting online got attached to each other in a unusual way ... we would spend an aweful time talking to each other ...and after a week or so he came to visit me ...and it all happened so fast that he even proposed to me ,i obviously answered that it's way too soon and we should give the relationship some time and all ...lately we have been both struggling with busy shredules to keep up with each other,..it was kind of disturbing but still ..i was okay with it ,but it's not his case he wants to ,,give the relationship a break ,until i'm ready and near him...he says that he cannot bear the distance and that there is nothing wrong with us a part from it ..and we will have to be back together no matter what ..but for now let's be friends until then ...now this is all very confusing ,i don't get why if there is mutual love you would need a break ? or is this a nice way to say i'm not interested anymore let's break up...what do you think guys?i would appreciate very much your answers Link to post Share on other sites
noskilljustluck Posted July 5, 2014 Share Posted July 5, 2014 hi ! so i have been in this relationship for like three weeks now ...i know it's not long but me and my partner after meeting online got attached to each other in a unusual way ... we would spend an aweful time talking to each other ...and after a week or so he came to visit me ...and it all happened so fast that he even proposed to me ,i obviously answered that it's way too soon and we should give the relationship some time and all ...lately we have been both struggling with busy shredules to keep up with each other,..it was kind of disturbing but still ..i was okay with it ,but it's not his case he wants to ,,give the relationship a break ,until i'm ready and near him...he says that he cannot bear the distance and that there is nothing wrong with us a part from it ..and we will have to be back together no matter what ..but for now let's be friends until then ...now this is all very confusing ,i don't get why if there is mutual love you would need a break ? or is this a nice way to say i'm not interested anymore let's break up...what do you think guys?i would appreciate very much your answers As much as its gonna rub on you, I got to say...he sounds desperate, impulsive and immature. How old are both of you? How far did you two go when you met? And what makes you say 'its mutual' love? Hmmm. Just knowing each other for three weeks and one meeting isnt enough. Honestly..something seems fishy. From his words, I think he wants to brush you off cause he didnt get what he wanted. 2 Link to post Share on other sites
Author vivia Posted July 5, 2014 Author Share Posted July 5, 2014 well i am 20 and he is 23 ...i guess it is fishy ,and please don't hold back say what u think it won't rub on me ^^ ..when we met we didn't go that far ..i mean it was our first meeting it would be weird if something serious happened..as for how i know if it's mutual love ,it's because he confessed and done some seriously embarassing things ,that only a men in love or a hardcore player would do xD so i think he loves me back ...but maybe it's not the case since he said what he said what do u think ? ^^ and thank u for answering Link to post Share on other sites
d0nnivain Posted July 5, 2014 Share Posted July 5, 2014 It's not normal. It's way too fast. It won't work. He wants instant intimacy & that just doesn't exist. Let him go so you can move on to somebody more stable 1 Link to post Share on other sites
ExpatInItaly Posted July 5, 2014 Share Posted July 5, 2014 3 weeks and he's proposing? Girl. RUN 5 Link to post Share on other sites
noskilljustluck Posted July 5, 2014 Share Posted July 5, 2014 well i am 20 and he is 23 ...i guess it is fishy ,and please don't hold back say what u think it won't rub on me ^^ ..when we met we didn't go that far ..i mean it was our first meeting it would be weird if something serious happened..as for how i know if it's mutual love ,it's because he confessed and done some seriously embarassing things ,that only a men in love or a hardcore player would do xD so i think he loves me back ...but maybe it's not the case since he said what he said what do u think ? ^^ and thank u for answering Oh dear, you would be surprised with how good of an actor some people can be. Never believe a man if he's sweeping you off your feet all of a sudden with sugar coated words like these "You mean the world to me" "I want to marry you" "I love you" Yes! these words do mean a lot and might just be genuine, but that happens only when people invest time in these statements. Not just in a month. Thats what you think hun, but apparently he loves you not. This he proves with the recoiling away after you dont let him get in your pants. A mature guy would invest in the relationship, then go for physicality. Yeah sure people have sex early in relationships, but they never last long. Take things into consideration. Its good he came to meet you, but what he was aiming for was not love but quick intimacy. 3 Link to post Share on other sites
Chrissyhly Posted July 11, 2014 Share Posted July 11, 2014 When a guy proposes to you when you have just been dating for 3 weeks... seems very fishy to me. Shows that he's trying to just latch on for the benefits, not for anything else. You've said it yourself in your comment to someone else --> "it's because he confessed and done some seriously embarrassing things, that only men in love or a hardcore player would do" --> I seriously think that he's only in it if there's something beneficial for him. Even though he came to see you (which is a good start) but to propose and now say that he wants a break... no go girl, run from him. He's not worth it. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
writergal Posted July 11, 2014 Share Posted July 11, 2014 I agree with all the advice here, OP. Premature/instant intimacy is about as appealing as passing a kidney stone after eating a rich, Italian meal. No one wants to experience that and when they do, it's ALWAYS painful, takes a while to heal from and leaves a nasty scar. I think this instant intimacy problem is the result of how much more casual our society has become with sex, and the development of relationships (as far as timelines go), since the introduction of OLD and 24/7 social networking each other. There's apps for hookups even. That's just crazy to a Gen Xer like me who grew up without all that dating technology. In other words, instant intimacy is bad, bad, bad. If you ever find yourself in that situation with a guy again, recognize that it's instant intimacy and that's not what you want from a guy. What you want and deserve is a guy who is willing to put in the miles, who takes the time to get to know you before he proposes marriage. But a marriage proposal after only 3 weeks? Yikes. Run Forest, Run. 3 Link to post Share on other sites
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