HeavenOrHell Posted May 14, 2014 Share Posted May 14, 2014 His work are sending him to the US (he lives in Europe) in June for a few days and he's going to take some extra time off seeing as he's there and have a bit of a break, which I've encouraged him to do, but inside I'm thinking how it will be a week or so less that we'll spend together this year and I'm already struggling and have been for a while. Maybe it will mean he can't come and stay with me in the Summer as well, and I can't deal with that. I'm aware how selfish that sounds but he won't know I'm thinking we'll have less time together if he takes a break elsewhere. On the whole I'm happier these days, with my own life, but the r/ship is still hard because of the distance and he's more closed than usual cos of depression. Would this bother you as well? Link to post Share on other sites
d0nnivain Posted May 14, 2014 Share Posted May 14, 2014 It would bother me but it's the kind of thing which requires you to bite your tongue. He's only doing this because he's there anyway. Any chance you can join him there? 1 Link to post Share on other sites
mammasita Posted May 14, 2014 Share Posted May 14, 2014 It would absolutely bother me. I agree with d0nnivain, is there any way you can coordinate and spend time with him in the US? Link to post Share on other sites
Author HeavenOrHell Posted May 14, 2014 Author Share Posted May 14, 2014 I'll be ok with it if it's less than a week, but more than that I'd find hard. He's only going there for work for 3 days and 2 other days traveling, not sure how much time he'll take for himself after that. I can't go no, for several reasons, hopefully he won't go for too long. Link to post Share on other sites
d0nnivain Posted May 14, 2014 Share Posted May 14, 2014 Talk to him about it. Tell him how much you are looking forward to your time together & how much you will miss him when he's in America. Ask him how, if at all, he thinks that trip may impact your time together. Don't accuse. Don't Demand. Just ask some Qs & express any preferences you have but to say to somebody that they can't take a long weekend in distant land at the tail end of a work visit is a bit much. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Author HeavenOrHell Posted May 14, 2014 Author Share Posted May 14, 2014 I'm probably over thinking, he'll probably only stay a few days extra and not a week or more. I had no intention of saying he can't take a long weekend, obviously that would be ridiculous! I won't mention it at all unless he's there for a while and it eats into our time too much. Talk to him about it. Tell him how much you are looking forward to your time together & how much you will miss him when he's in America. Ask him how, if at all, he thinks that trip may impact your time together. Don't accuse. Don't Demand. Just ask some Qs & express any preferences you have but to say to somebody that they can't take a long weekend in distant land at the tail end of a work visit is a bit much. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Els Posted May 15, 2014 Share Posted May 15, 2014 It would bother me if the only time we could see each other was during annual leave, and he was using a big portion of that annual leave elsewhere, yes. If you two were not in a LDR and he was taking a vacation by himself, that would be fine because you would still see each other the rest of the time. But in this case you have little enough time together as it is, so it's a fair grievance IMO. I agree with d0nnivain as to how you should broach the matter with him though. Ask him nicely how he feels it might impact your time together. Link to post Share on other sites
justwhoiam Posted May 15, 2014 Share Posted May 15, 2014 It would be a problem if: 1) he's going to use up his days off (2 days would be fine, more than that, it'd be a waste) 2) his finances are going to be affected because of this minivacation If points 1 and 2 are of no concern, then everything's fine. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
CherryT Posted May 16, 2014 Share Posted May 16, 2014 I think it would bother me initially... but knowing that you've both been in this LDR for several years, I can kind of see him wanting to explore a new place. It does suck that it could mean that you lose a few more days with him this year. But it's also hard to be upset with him if he's traveling all that way and wants to have a break too. I don't know about you, but my fiance and I love to travel. We don't get to do as much of it because we spend our time going back and forth to one another. And although he loves my city, it's like his second home now. I'll be moving to be with him in the next 2-3 months and we keep talking about how nice it'll be now that we can now travel, to new places, together. I think that is just one of the struggles of LDR... you spend all your resources and extra time off going to the same place. And although we didn't mind it, we wanted to experience something new too. So although you are completely right in feeling bummed out that you may get less time with him, I can also see why he wanted to take an opportunity to just see something new. Link to post Share on other sites
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