Girlfriend changed so much, unexpectedly.

[heartstolen]

I am a 21 yaer old boy. I am in a LDR with my cousin for the last 2 years. She is 18 years old.

I have many problems for which I would like to have advices from you.

First of all I would like you to know that the first year of our relationship went awesome and the best year of my life so far. We live in a same country, so we used to talk on texts every single minute for a year whether we are in university or at home or at any other place. After celebrating our first anniversary, we began to have fights once in a week, and my girlfriend always accepted her faults, apologized, and then we again went back to normal.

She used to talk to me everytime in her University and at her home, but as the time passed, everything seemed to be changed. We started having fights 3 - 5 times a week, on texts and calls.

She always apologized so nicely and talked to me in such a nice way that I always was too happy with her even when fighting. And finally just a month before our 2nd anniversary, I decided to meet her. I met her, we talked over the reasons that we always fighted for. And we again were so happy together and stopped fighting for JUST a month.

It has been two months since I last met her.

Now the problems are:

-She always ignores me,

-She doesn't apologizes for her mistakes like the way she always did,

-When she is at the University she ignores me so much,

-Now she is too busy to talk to everytime,

-We just talk about for hardly 3 hours a day,

-For 15 months she always used facebook to tag me some pictures, videos, etc, but now she uses facebook for her friends and for just passing time but without even seeing my posts that I tag her,

-She takes 2 hours NOW to have dinner + washing the dishes ( She took 20 minutes maximum throughout the first year of our relationship for having meal + dishwashing ),

-She Most of the time replies me late,

-I know she doesn't ever talks to any other guy except me ANYWHERE ( Her university is for women only ), but still she keeps ignoring,

-I talked about all this with her last month, she accepted her mistakes, cried, apologized alot, started to be like the girl she used to be before, but now again she is hurting me all the time with her words, with her ignorance,

-Now what I've been doing for the last month is that I am trying to get her attention by being busy all the time, and ignoring her in a very CALM way and not by hurting her. She still doesn't care, and is now ignoring me back more than before.

-She tells me that she loves me alot, but she doesn't spends time with me like we used to do, she doesn't care about my feelings anymore, and she doesn't want to breakup with me either.

 

I am so confused what to do, because whatever I do, she's going too far away from me.

Please give me your opinions on this, I really need help. I have a really worst heartache I've never ever had before.

I can't breakup with her either, so kindly give me advices for making her miss me all the time, because she doesn't seems to miss me anymore.

Thanks !

[justwhoiam]

She's not in love with you. And your last meeting was revealing. After that, contact started to fade.

 

Let her breathe, you're too demanding and controlling.

Also, she doesn't enjoy the 3-hour talk anymore. That might slowly fade out too.

[Brutus]

Sorry for you man. I have been there a few months ago. Sorry to say that, but this is likely to be the beginning of the end. Also my ex started a new life in a new enviroment (University is a big change in a person's life style) and had the same change in her behavior. It is puzzling to us and to them, but it means the love is fading away as she has new priorities in her life. She does not want to break up with you because love does not simply disappear, and even once it did, attachment to a person dear to you is still strong. Do not do what I did, do not get paranoid, do not pressure her, do not act needy, do not ask, cry and start a drama. It would make things worse and you will lose her, as i did You can either try to hold on and see (but this will be extremely painful for you, possibly self-distructive) or just take a clear position, ask her if she wants to break up and eventually break it yourself before it gets worse. At least it will be your decision and you will spare yourself a lot of heartache.

good luck

[heartstolen]

@justwhoiam:

 

Hey there.

My girlfriend says that she loves me alot and she'll always love me like she used to do in the past. But she says that she doesn't care about me anymore AS much as she did before.

I've done some stupid mistakes in our relationship, and she has forgiven me for all that. But she doesn't spends time with me, unless I talk to her. I truly love her with all my heart, and I respect her more than anyone else could do. She knows that very well. Still she doesn't texts me by herself. And if she does sometimes, so she just text me for five minutes then stops until I reply her. She was never like this before.

She knows that I can't live without her, because I love her a lot.

She never feels guilty for her mistakes that she makes now.

And it's killing me. I am too addicted to her. Now I've started to be happy on my own, but she's in my head all the time whatever I do. We've talked just 9 hours ago.

Please advice me what to do. I can't get her out of my mind, no matter what I do.

She doesn't text me, and it kills me.

And I know this relation is at its end, but I believe that this relation is never going to end. That's what my girlfriend says. She just doesn't care anymore.

[heartstolen]

Dear Brutus, Thank you for your kind reply.

I totally agree with you, that our relation is at its end.

I've asked my girlfriend that she k break up with me, and release me from this pain she is giving me all the time. But she has always said that she NEVER want to live without me either. So she will never break up with me no matter what the consequences are.

I miss her all the time EVEN if I try to divert my mind from her.

[justwhoiam]

When a woman/girl says she will always love you but doesn't care as much about you as she used to, you need to focus on what she's not telling you: I am not in love with you anymore. As simple as that.

[Brutus]

Dear Brutus, Thank you for your kind reply.

I totally agree with you, that our relation is at its end.

I've asked my girlfriend that she k break up with me, and release me from this pain she is giving me all the time. But she has always said that she NEVER want to live without me either. So she will never break up with me no matter what the consequences are.

I miss her all the time EVEN if I try to divert my mind from her.

 

My ex told me she cannot live without me. 4 days later, she left me. justwhoiam is right. Trust her actions, not her words, because sometimes we ourselves do not know what is in our minds, but our actions make it clear. I am sorry about this, but having been there and being still suffering A LOT I can tell you: either you kill this or this will kill you.

[heartstolen]

Yeah you guys are right. I jst broke up with her yesterday. Her actions were xactly like she wanted to break up. Aftr i broke up with her, she kept messaging me on fb that she is missing me so much. Then i got a call from her sister that she' s cryng since i brokeup. Guys be onnected incase i need advices. Thank u both.

[moonshadow18]

Hello! I just need some help to get myself out of this confusion I'm in. I'm 24 and in a long distance relationship with an 18 years old guy from the US. He is basically the only guy whom I was able to open up everything with. I've dated guys near me before those I can be with all the time but none of them gave me the comfortability that this guy has given me. I have told him everything about me both good and bad info. Those I did in the past that no one knows but me. We've been dating online for like 5months now. Apparently like normal couples we also have those ups and downs. On our third month we started having issues when he first got into jail because he got pulled over due to speeding and verbally abused the cops or something not really sure. I was devasted as I cant take that he's going in there. It took sometime for me to cope up. Not even a month later he got arrested again because of him caught having weed in his car. I broke up with him as I cannot really take it anymore. He begged for me and asked me to stay and promised me he will change. I just love him so much that I decided to get back with him. We faced the race again together and had little arguments and stuff along the way. I must say we are both immature. Everytime we argue we block each other on facebook and just a few days we would get back together and add each other again. That just keeps happening all the time. Then we would take time to reevaluate the relationship and agree that we are doing

somethig wrong. We would end up telling each other the things we like and dont like. We were okay since the last time we broke up until just recently a day before Easter. He got arrested again because of him not able to pay his old ticket from the weed warrant. I was literally broken as it happened once again. He told me he didnt do anything it just so happened that he still hasnt been able to pay the old fee which he already paid im full this time. He told me not to worry about him going back there anymore because its already cleared. I needed a break to think and I went No Contact with him for a week. He kept calling and texting me but I tried my best not to get intouch. I started missing him sooo bad and wondering if he is doing okay. He texted me two days ago and I decided to answer his call. Like I expected I just heard him beg and I gave in again. We shared so many thing together and did crazy things out of love together. Cried together so many times and I wasnt just ready to let him go. (I know u wud say Im stupid) since we started talking again. Everytime I break up with him he would go back to smoking weed. He said whenever I make him feel that Im gone forever then theres no more reason for him to stop as Im the only one who can change his mind about using weed. Im just getting these mixed emotions and still confused whether Im doing the right thing or not. Im doubtful of him about him, he said as long as we stay together then surely he will never smoke. I work in Hong Kong but I'm originally from the Philippines. We planned to meet Aug. This year all those waiting time we were so excited and had so many plans the moment we meet. I have an employer who decides for my vacation tho. I asked for it to be given Aug. But they cant let me go on the said month so they gave me 10days sometime in July. He wont make it on time as he need money to come down here. He is so disappointed because all is planned already for Aug. I told him before if they wont let me go I would resign now he is taking that against me. I explained to him I cannot resign anymore since they allowed me to go. Purpose of me working here is to cross over to Canada so I cannot blow up everything as it wud mess up my plan of crossing over. He do not understand, he knows its my dream even before i methim he wud say "Youd rather be in Canada than be with me" i told him its not true, since we dont have any idea how long its gonna take before he can get me over which he plans i told him getting there wud get me closer to him

so sadly wer not going to meet anymore this year as planned whivh really hurts me as my family is also expecting me to bring him over. Both our families are involved on thsi. Thwy are all supportive about what we have. In times we have trouble his parents are always to thw rescue. I really like him a lot. And this recent break up that we had since we havent talked for a while it felt as tho wer drifting apart slowly. Like i dont feel him as before anymore. And when i tell him he wud say its still the same him same feelings. So he wud end up asking me "Are you still inlove? U seem unsure now" i ask myself that too and i dont have the answer. its like the passion and bond is not there anymore but im not ready to let go.it has only been a day since we got back together but i feel like its not the same. The time difference is not rili a big deal because we always manage to talk but we hardly talk now. I cud bately get a hold of him. Im callig him and he is not picking up. He is offline on facebookwhich is not so him because hes always there because we talk there and have calls using the free call on it. I just dont feel him at all. Im so bothered. I dpnt know what elae tp think and do this time. Its like the whole time we stopped talking ended the connevtion and everything altho he told me he wants me in his life and nothing can ever chnage his.love for me. Pls help